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Don't shoot anything in lead that exits the muzzle slower than 650 feet per second nor anything under 750 feet per second in plated or jacketed is my advice. I pulled those velocities out of thin air, but am comfortable with them in my own guns - if I were to go lower, I would perform extensive testing. If your friend goes lower than that, have him test a statistically significant sample in your lady shooter's gun to ensure velocities do not get erratic at lower velocities. That is where you can get a bullet stuck in the bore (barrel obstruction) and have the next round do spectacular damage.
If he doesn't have a chronograph, I would (carefully) leap to the conclusion that his reloads might be more risky than my tolerance level would permit.
If your shooter uses a shooting glove (any reasonably firm glove with the trigger finger opened up would do - I have used a knit glove with the breathable plastic/rubber coating with great success shooting my friend's 500 S&W and my 454 Casulls) her comfort level with the "palm sting" should permit comfortable shooting. Doubling up on hearing protection (ear plugs under ear muffs) further insulates the shooter from recoil and blast (blast has been mentioned by Dondor as the most intimidating feature, and I can attest that attentuating the noise of the muzzle blast helps a LOT).
So, a padded-palm glove (bicycling glove, gardening, golfing what have you) and doubling up on hearing protection is my advice.
You could also have your friend make up some primer-only wax bullets (or if he casts, some hot-glue bullets - google the term "gluelits") are a heck of a lot of fun. But treat them as if they were equally dangerous as real ammunition or airgun pellets - they are. Can go through wallboard or glass and dent steel doors.
Good luck.
Lost Sheep
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