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I've got it! A golf bag, with those fuzzy head-covers protecting the barrell!
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Now you need to get the "full set" -- from the Big Bertha (.300 Win Mag or the non-conforming .50 cal) to a chipping wedge (.410). 
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"Personal weapons are what raised mankind out of the mud, and the rifle is the queen of personal weapons. The possession of a good rifle, as well as the skill to use it well, truly makes a man the monarch of all he surveys." -Jeff Cooper, The Art of the Rifle-
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