How much are you looking to spend?
I'm thinking a revolver is a good choice for you, but they can be expensive, a lot more so than a budget 9mm pistol.
Pistols don't need to be cleaned all that often, if they're good quality. Cheap ones like Kel Tec, Taurus... I think it's best to be safe and clean and lube them. I don't think I've cleaned my Ruger SR22 since I bought it an I've shot hundreds of rounds through it.
Don't worry about limp wristing. As long as you hold the pistol the way you're supposed to, you'll be fine.
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