[hermanpj]

FWIW

Realize everything you read here is relative and based on experience and opinion. Lots of good info in this thread. As always on this website!

Personally I do not see the point in starting w a .22 LR. Unless you are defending your home from onslaught by rodent or Hobbits. Plenty of people will tell you 22 LR is lethal, and it is. But you will have to be much more accurate. You are a first time gun owner. You may even want to consider a shotgun as your first weapon.

Since you have stated you are interested in a handgun....

I would start w 9 MM. If you are using for home defense, a metal frame 9mm will give you lower felt recoil generally. a 1911 style 9mm in either aluminum alloy frame or steel frame will probably offer best felt recoil of this caliber, and as another poster opined, will offer a relatively thin grip which will be easier shared between you and your wife. The steel frame will add weight, but in a self defense situation, you are not holding the weapon indefinitely. You did not say you are planning to carry, so I am not taking that into consideration.

My own wife found that her Dan Wesson 9MM 1911 recoils less than her previous gun, a Walther PPKS in .32, despite the Walther's lower caliber. It was a very light gun and the operating system plus weight conspired for a high felt recoil despite lower caliber. She also finds her 1911 stye pistol recoils less than my Beretta 92FS in 9mm and moreover, the grip being much narrower, it fits her hand better. The sacrifice of a 1911, incidentally, is often a break in period and normally a lower magazine capacity since very few 1911 style pistols are double stacked.

Anyway... she had not shot since the experience with the Walther, and so for all intents and purposes, a first time shooter. She has taken to the 9MM very well. So while I think the coaching on starting w a .22 LR is extremely well intentioned, I would not hesitate to go to higher caliber. It's not like a 9mm is a .50 cal.

I read a well written argument for a .357 magnum revolver. Solid argument, high dependability, excellent takedown power, excellent energy delivery to target. High recoil, IMHO.

Beyond all else, you need to follow the advice to go to a range that rents pistols and try a few. Select pistols that fit both your and your wife's hands, then rent 3-4 and try them. Select on how it feels shooting, how accurately you shoot it, how easy it is for you to acquire the target. Change targets between guns. Shoot each gun at least 1 magazine and at least twice (shoot gun a, gun b, gun c, gun a, gun b, gun c).

Magazine capacity, IMHO is not what you should select on. If for defense, if you ever have to use it, you will likely never pull the trigger more than 3-4 times. Particularly if your wife has smaller hands, a larger capacity auto will simply increase grip size and restrict your choices.

The poster(s) who urged you to get some training are spot on IMHO. An hour with a range instructor, even 1 hour, would make a differnece.

You will need to decide on whether you want a gun w a distinct, separate safety mechanism. Two extremes to illustrate the point: GLOCK - safety is incorporated in trigger. Battery of arms (the procedure for employing the weapon) is much simpler. Pick it up, aim, pull trigger. Opposite Extreme - Beretta design with safety decocker. Battery of arms requieres you to disengage safety with thumb while drawing the weapon. Assuming you are keeping the weapon chambered on safe, decocked, the first trigger pull will cock the hammer and release the hammer.

You have no handgun experience. I will give you my personal gut reaction, but it is at best opinion, and equally viable opinions will be provided: get a gun with a safety. Again many first time gun owners buy Glocks with 0 issues. My own personal evolutoin started with a Beretta 92FS and I have always selected pistols with a safety regardless of caliber. Treat all guns as always laoded, and keep your finger always out of the trigger guard, your own discipline being your safety. That is equally viable, but I have always preferred the extra safety marign.

To that end, whatever gun you buy, you MUST practice the procedure for employing it. It will not be realistic to do this at the range only.

Create a procedure for yourself to practice battery of arms for your weapon at home. Set up a target in your bedroom. Lock the door against interruption, ensure everyone most especially children are on the other side of that door. Clear the weapon, load ONLY a snap cap (a practice round that is made for practicing firing which contains a spring to absorb firing pin energy, not gunpowder). Spend 30 minutes a day the first week practicing raising the gun, disengaging the safety, aiming, putting your finger on the tigger, and pulling trigger. Do this repeatedly for 30 minutes once a day for the first week always aiming at the target you set up - never the TV, never a person, not even a photo of a person. Do this until the repitition builds muscle memory for disengaging the safety (if so equipped) in the proper succession. Each time you conclude the practice session, clear the weapon, re-load it, re-enage safety, put the gun back in your safe locatioin ( I recommend a GunVault safe in your nightstand), and say the words "PRACTICE IS OVER, THE WEAPON IS ARMED."

This sounds artificial, and possibly nutty. Consider that you are taking a big-boy step of bringing a loaded weapon into your home. You will need to introduce some discipline and control over yourself, and these type of procedures help put boundaries around your behavior and when it both is and is not safe for you to practice handling your weapon.

Practice Practice Practice. For basic proficiency, you should hit the range weekly for a couple months. then once per month to retain proficiency. Once per week if you want to advance your capability. Take courses. Be safe.