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Had a friend in a similar predicament... he solved it in much the same manner I would; since she's not experienced with guns, get her a .38 or .357 DA revolver (get one with the lightest DA pull possible, most women have less hand strength than men... if the gunstore has a woman working there, have her help pick it out), stuff it with real ammo (an unloaded gun is worthless), and depending on how old / big the kids are, either put it up out of their reach (on top of cabinets, etc.), or get a "quick-safe", one that you can unlock with a 2 or 3 finger hand salute. Get her to shoot it at least once at a range so she's familiar with it.
My mother was not a gun person (and still doesn't shoot much, though she works at a very large sporting good and arms distributor near here, one of the biggest on the East Coast, in fact) when I was a kid (well, toddler, really, as I don't remember this happening), but she told me the story of when someone came to the front door one day when my Dad was at work, and he kept beating on the door, carrying on (and this was a nice neighborhood back then)... she retrieved the .38 my Dad had placed on top of the dresser, and aimed it at the door, and told the guy to go away, or the next thing he heard would be a bullet coming through the door (don't mess with a mother and her cubs)... he wisely departed.
As to my friend's problem; they had some "youths" attempt a couple of times to burglarize the place when they weren't home; fortunately, their eagle-eye neighbor spotted 'em acting suspicious, and they took off both times... I helped my buddy put in some cameras outside (he gets home very late at night, he's a trucker) so his wife could see what was going on... and lo and behold, they tried again one night when my buddy was home... well, his wife woke him up, handed him the revolver, and he went out there, yelled at 'em to stop.. they didn't, he fired at them (it was pitch black dark)... by all accounts, we think he missed 'em, no blood trail. He called the County out... no one EVER showed up... I think they got the message, though... no further attempts to burgle that house have occurred.
Oh, and as far as the alarm system idea goes.. well, fine, but that's not going to stop an experienced miscreant; they'll know about how long they have before the law gets there... and your wife would be defenseless in the meantime... screw that... the alarm's only function in my house, when I'm home, is to let me know the perimeter is breached... ADT's job will be to send out the meatwagon.
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