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When you are holding the pistol your thumb and middle finger should overlap a little bit. Maybe as much as one full finger joint. If you can't touch your middle fingertip and your thumb, the grip is probably too fat. Also you should be able to reach the safety, mag release, and slide lock without shifting your grip very much. I also mentioned where the finger should rest on the trigger
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NO! Few of us can reach the mag. release and slide lock without shifting the pistol. The safety should, of course, be reachable. And they're positioned so they are.
The trigger must be reachable without a radical shift of the hand, but one of the best determing factors is observing the consistency of bullet holes on the target.