[cannonfire]

I'm sorry for your loss, I truly am. My best friend killed himself in March using a gun. I know a similar feeling of what you are going through. Suicides are a messy thing for the people left behind, but I would not hesitate to seek a grievence councillor.

What I found to help me the most to move on was to do what I enjoy. I am not a religious man. I did not pray for my friend. What I did was tell stories of the good times and laugh at all the good/fun/silly memories. I went out and took long hikes and went shooting in order for me to get past the guilty feeling. Your father obviously instilled the love of firearms in you from a young age. I say keep shooting and keep his memory with you.

Again if you feel it gets too unbearable, seek professional help. I can not stress this enough because it is not easy to go through what you are going through.

Feel free to PM as well. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Sometimes that's just the best thing, even if it is to a stranger