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Forgive my ignorance, im not a "revolver guy", yet. The "N" frame is the heavier frame? Same as a 29?
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If I didn't own an "N" frame (Mod 28), I'd own a 586 or 686. Fits my hand better and a few ounces lighter.
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Now this all depends. The 586/686 standard feature is the lug. For an N frame, such as a model 629, some have full lugs and some do not. If you are comparing a half lug 629 to a 686 (full lug) they actually weigh the same (S&W website - 45 oz for N frame half lug, and 44.9 oz for L frame 686, both 6in barrel). So the difference is more of a measurement one, rather than weight itself. The N frame has a large cylinder window, and probably a longer frame as well. The L frame feels more nose heavy, but also tends to sit closer to the top of your hand. N frames in the hand sit proud, high up, compared to most other revolvers.
As for the feel of the grip on the gun, I would not let that factor in much. Aftermarket grips for an N frame could make the grip feel smaller than a L frame and of course, vice versa. For example, even from the factory, you could get N frame magna grips (reveals the grip frame) and you could get L frame standard target grips (wraps around front strap and butt) and the N frame then feels smaller in hand. I have many sets of factory grips, and many sets of aftermarket grips for these revolvers, and the feel is definitely mostly grip dependent. You can even get grips which make a round butt revolver feel like a square butt revolver. Its all in what works best for you.