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At the heart of the matter is the "right" that your personal status to defend while armed with a deadly weapon is somehow elevated to where any bodily contact can conceivably be construed as a potential to disarm you and then use your weapon against you.
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Maybe the shark wants you for lunch. Maybe he's just curious what you taste like. Doesn't matter, you still get bit.
Do people overreact? yep. Sometimes those people end up in jail. Sometimes, they don't.
Do people underreact? Yep. Sometimes, those people survive, sometimes, they don't.
An expert can "disarm" you of your wallet just bumping into to you. Do you feel a person needs to wait until an attacker gets a hand on your gun to be confident of their intentions?
Personally, I don't see where their intentions matter one bit. What they DO, leads me to believe what they intend to do, and I'm not going to wait until after my ass is kicked before believing they intend to kick my ass.
ONE PUNCH CAN KILL. Usually doesn't but with the right conditions it absolutely can. Sorry, but I don't need to have the bear actually bite me to know he intends to.
I guess we're just going to have a philosophical disagreement on that.