Disclaimer: I don't own a .41 magnum. That said I think it is a totally capable cartridge that definitely belongs in the the "big bore magnum" club.
That said, from the tone of your posts you might be happier with the Ruger Super Blackhawk in .480 Ruger. Maybe even harder to find the gun (although Ruger still lists it at their site) and ammo but it will definitely be a step up recoil wise.
Or, if you're not wedded to a single action go for the S&W .460 Magnum and shoot the wimpy .454 Casulls or even .45 Colts where you won't even notice the recoil at all

.
Good luck.
Ruger SBH .480
https://ruger.com/products/newModelS...ey/models.html
S&W .460
https://www.smith-wesson.com/product...xvr?sku=163460
Note: also comes in shorter barrel
https://www.smith-wesson.com/product...xvr?sku=163465