Hey, what's more important than saving our homes from invading troops? I forgot to mention that these troops are from the People's Republic of Moronia. They believe that their leader, Emperor Grand Field Marhsal His Royal Highness Schmucko The First, is the reincarnation of their national god, Guuf-Baal, and they are coming to put a stop to our unclean, demonic practices like eating ice cream, driving pickup trucks, and allowing women to walk around with their earlobes uncovered.
"As I looked at my two young sons, each with his gun, and considered how much the safety of the party depended on these little fellows, I felt grateful to you, dear husband, for having acquainted them in childhood with the use of firearms."
-- Elisabeth Robinson, in The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann Wyss