Another vote for .357 Mag. revolver here. You introduce two new calibers with one gun (.38 spc/ .357 mag) and you don't have a revolver... seams like a good way to go.
For HD, maybe a 4" Ruger Gp100 or S&W 686 or something similarly sized.
For carry, maybe a S&W j-frame or 2.25" Ruger Sp101.
(3" SP101 might be a good compromise for a dual purpose CCW/HD weapon)