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Old January 6, 2013, 07:29 PM   #1
Romeo 33 Delta
Senior Member
Join Date: March 27, 2009
Posts: 315
Ban 'em ... Ban 'em all! Stopping the hqap madness.

I just saw a story on the nightly news that today's "run-of-the-mill" (but very high tech) scanners, copiers and printers are capable of producing counterfit bills that are easily passed to the unwary without some close scrutiny.

That got me to thinking ... isn't about time that the government make a big push to have these banned? When I think of the monetary damage this does to the economy, I just shudder. Imagine yourself finding you've just taken in a counterfit $50 (or worse, several) and then have to turn them into the Feds without compensation. Talk about being ROBBED!
Let's face it ... if it saves just one life!

Plainly, there is absolutely no need for any normal citizen to own this type of scanner/copier/printer that is capable of such precision that it can be used to manufacture paper money that passes all but extreme measures. Clearly, the only purpose for such precision machines IS to print money and other "secure" documents and just as certain, the only people wanting to do this are evil-doers and craven, criminal types.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Framers of the Constitution never envisioned this technology in printing. There is no doubt that these precision printing devices fall far outside the intended scope of the 1st Amendment's protections.


Anyone having what we determine to be a "high-quality, precision scanner, copier, printer" (the names and model numbers to follow) or "HIGH QUALITY ASSAULT PRINTER" ( HQAP) as we will call them henceforth will be required to register them and have their sales tracked via a national registry. No private, person-to-person sales will be permitted. All sales will have to be through Federally licensed dealers. Further, persons in possession of a HQAP will be restricted as to the amount of "quality" copy paper and "quality" ink that they are allowed to have on hand. We are investigating requiring a special license for anything over 30 pieces of "quality" paper and "quality" ink or may just go with outlawing anything over 30 pieces.

Further, HQAP owners will be required to account for all the "quality" copy paper and "quality" ink in their possession. To include, but not limited to: when, where, how, and for what it was used and the ultimate dispossession of said paper. Afterall, it is clear that no one needs to have more than 30 pieces of "quality" copy paper/ink on hand. I mean, what are you worried about? It has no legitimate other use, unlike toilet paper or paper towels or newsprint (what's that?). We also intend to introduce legislation which will make further manufacture of such HQAP illegal. We also will do this with "quality" copy paper/ink (because there will be no need for "quality" paper and "quality" ink, that type with which one can combine the primary colors thereof to mimic all other colors).

Further information will be forthcoming following our meeting with VP Biden for additional rules and regulations. Everyone knows that I stand behind the 1st Amendment 100%. I even have a regular printer and crappy paper and ink, but we are talking about saving our economy. We're talking about the "greater good". We all have to be willing to compromise on this assault on our economic stability and by following my plan as outlined above, we will be able to rid ourselves of the curse of counterfit money, once and for all.

Last edited by Shane Tuttle; January 6, 2013 at 09:49 PM.
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