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Old January 5, 2013, 05:53 PM   #7
Spats McGee
Join Date: July 28, 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 6,996
First of all, MB21, congratulations. My wife teaches Freshman Composition at one of our colleges. I have seen quite a few essays over the past couple of years and I can assure you that yours is written better than many I have seen.

With that said, I have to chime in with a couple of other posters here:
Originally Posted by MB21 in his essay
There are several things that are fishy about the story with the shooting. Many different accounts have been told about the firearms used. The Chief Medical Examiner at the hospital said that there was definitely a Bushmaster AR-15 involved in the school shooting. But a rifle was recovered from the trunk of the suspect’s car, not in the school where the other firearms were found. A video that can quickly be found by googling “Sandy Hook Massacre AR-15 found” clearly shows that the firearm is not an AR type rifle. If so, why did the media state that it was an AR-15?
Do you see why this muddies the waters about the "fishiness" of the story?
1) The story that seems fishy is that an AR was used the shooting.
2) Your assertion is that
a) a rifle was found in the trunk of the car; but
b) that rifle was not an AR
The (logical) problem is that unless the shooter put guns back into the trunk of the car, the police finding X there only means that he did not use X in the shooting.

The following sentence needs a little something to be complete.
It bans certain cosmetics on the rifle, and the details haven’t been released on which cosmetics are to be banned.
Oh, and you might want to look at how you phrased the following:
I have personally used the two most common rounds for killing humans in the Middle East for varmints.
I think you mean that you've used the round for varmints, but on a quick read, the first part of the sentence reads:
I have personally used the two most common rounds for killing humans . . .
That's not really the impression that you want to leave, right?

Well done.
I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. If you need some honest-to-goodness legal advice, go buy some.
Spats McGee is offline  
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