9mm is the better choice in smaller guns. The 357 was originally desiged for 158 gr loads @ 1500 fps from 6" barrels. If you want to carry a gun that large and heavy you can get some pretty impressive power. Along with impressive recoil and blast.
A 2.5" 357 is about the same overall size as a 4" 9mm. With common 124/125 gr loads the 9mm equals or beats 357 from the shorter barrels with 2-3X more ammo and far less blast and recoil. The really hot loads some refer to have recoil and blast that is off the charts, not recommended, especially in 2-3" guns.
Even from 4" barrels the 357 is usually only 50-100 fps faster. There is a reason revlovers have become obsolete in LE circles.