You might consider a convertable pistol,,,
One that can change back and forth between a .22 and a centerfire.
I only mention this because you said recreation and defense.
Aaron hit the nail on the head!
You can acquaint yourself with the gun and your kids can learn to shoot very economicly with the .22 set up. AND should your wife seize the opportunity, the .22LR is the ideal starter round bar none for anyone. Preferably get the whole set up at once as a package deal even if you build your own "package deal" at your LGS.
Switch back to CF parts and you have your HD needs covered too. All under the one gun rule.
If your feeling brave your LGS would probably be happy to set up a "package deal" with a S&W M&P or Ruger SR series CF pistol along with it's .22LR counterpart. He might cut you a little price break so they're "on sale" too!