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Old November 24, 2009, 11:11 AM   #85
Junior Member
Join Date: November 21, 2009
Location: Sandhills of NC
Posts: 14
As an aside, back to one of your prior posts, you mention women no longer giving a lady-like slap to the face....
That's because most of us realize that if we attempted such a maneuver, it might lead to assault.
A. If a woman is in the position where a ladylike slap is justified -- because a man is not accepting verbal signals that he's pushing boundaries too hard -- then how does giving in and passively permitting him to continue to run roughshod over her improve matters for the woman?

B. If a man is such a brute barbarian that delivering an unequivocal signal that he has crossed the line would trigger a physical assault why would a rational woman be in his company in the first place?

I have only seen the slap used twice. Once at a distance where I had no firsthand knowledge of what triggered it but could observe that a different man intervened on the distressed woman's behalf and escorted her away.

The other time was among college friends of mine where a young man got carried away and took teasing beyond the realm of fun. My friend, one of the primmest, most ladylike young women I have ever known slapped him. Because he was not a brute and a barbarian -- most men aren't -- he immediately realized his wrongdoing and apologized with great sincerity. And she, understanding the sincerity of his words and having firmly established the boundaries of her comfort zone, immediately forgave him. Afterward not only that particular young man, but the rest of the men she knew were more careful to show her the respect that she deserved.

Has we been a generation younger my friend would have been robbed of a valuable tool. She would have been put into the position of either submitting passively in a situation where a man was physically and verbally handling her in a way that made her uncomfortable and unhappy or sacrificing her dignity by bursting into tears and running off. I don't see either option as an improvement.

Its a fine example of what I said about evaluating the things one was taught and judging if they should be accepted or rejected. It would be helpful if we were all taught only the best and truest and most correct views as children, but in the real world it doesn't happen so we are obligated to separate the gold from the dross as we mature from child to adult.

Last edited by iam3KBs; November 24, 2009 at 11:36 AM. Reason: Dyslexia. again.
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