Best handgun for home defense is your shotgun. Much easier to aim than any handgun, with light loads, recoil is going to be no problem. Then you can follow the advice from Chettt
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Originally Posted by Chettt
Why not get a .22 as your first hand gun? Shoot all day for little money, hunt small game etc.
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With a .22 rimfire, you both can perfect your handgun shooting skills for not much money (about one tenth the cost per shot as centerfire ammunition means you can fire 500 rounds in an afternoon for the same price as 50 rounds of centerfire). While you are shooting your shotgun and 22 at the range, you can meet people who have a wide variety of guns who might even let you look at, handle or shoot their guns. You can develop some first-hand experience and find out what fits your hands. You will refine your taste in handguns during that time.
Single action autos (Browning High-Power has been mentioned) often can fit smaller hands because the trigger finger does not have to move so far to reach the trigger (since the trigger does not have to go through a long double action pulling motion). 9mm is not too hard in recoil when fired from a full-size gun. From small guns (that many people recommend-mistakenly-for smaller people) any round will recoil harder than from a larger gun.
Check out
http://www.corneredcat.com/. Kathy Jackson is the site owner (known as "Pax" on this forum). Pax is quite the fountain of knowledge, and that knowledge is equally valuable for men as it is for women. Don't be shy.
Anyhow, what you already have is good. Add a 5 watt flashlight, cell phone and a tactical bag to keep them all together and you are close to basically equipped. Practice your emergency plans (fire, home invasion, being caught separated in your house, or one of you out of it.....the usual scenarios). Go to the Tactics and Training area of The Firing Line for this stuff.
Good luck, good shooting and good shopping.
Lost Sheep