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Old December 1, 2004, 03:17 AM   #7
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Join Date: May 14, 2002
Posts: 2,251
5. Mother nature is a bitch because you really have to pee.
If necessary, do so where you sit or stand. This is what soldiers have often had to do, and is part of the training of recon troopers, snipers etc - if nature calls and it is a matter of life and death, life is the better choice.

9. When you try to yell out in your best John Wayne voice "Alright, who's there?" it sounds more like a frightened Don Knotts going through puberty.
Yelling out "who's there" is probably not a wise thing to do in most cases. Firstly one should have his or her household organized well enough that it is known beforehand if a household member will be coming in after you have gone to bed. And if I suspect someone has broken a window to enter my home, I probably do not need to know their name at that point.

10. Some will forget if there is a round chambered in their autopistol and rack the slide. Either you realize you were standing there with an empty chamber (Stoopid!) or you've just dropped a live round on the carpet (Stoopid too!).
Keeping the tools in the same place, in the same condition, all of the time, one does not have to worry about the word "forget" in this context.

11. The remote-control lighting fixture you spent $29.95 for works, however the living-room lamp it controls takes this opportunity to go plink as the $0.69 bulb burns out.
Having carefully situated lights directed away from the starting point - in this case the bedroom - with manual switches will help if the remote switch to the livingroom fixture or the bulb fail. A small powerful flashlight can be held in reserve.
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