View Full Version : Creative answers to the question: "Are you carrying?"

May 6, 2009, 05:51 PM
Okay, for whatever reason, it is possible that someone wonders if you are carrying or not. For some who are less inhibited, or maybe a friend who knows you participate in shooting sports, they may just come out and ask you:

"Are you carrying?"

What would be your three best creative answers that would best defuse the situation without answering the question directly?

Answers can be humorous or serious but they should quickly end the dialog about whether or not you are packing heat in a way that does not directly insult the one who, perhaps inadvisably but likely innocently, asked the question. The goal here is to defuse the situation without answering the question directly and, for most reasonable/normal human beings, for the questioner to go away without future pestering about the matter.

So, how would you recommend the question be answered?

May 6, 2009, 06:02 PM
Drugs or gun?
Carrying what?
Makes ya wonder, huh...

May 6, 2009, 06:05 PM
Do I look Pregnant?
It's a beer gut man.

Shadi Khalil
May 6, 2009, 06:14 PM
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.


May 6, 2009, 06:17 PM
Maybe yes, maybe no.

That's not public information.

Do you really expect me to answer that?

Don H
May 6, 2009, 06:25 PM
"Are you carrying?"

Why would you ask someone such a personal question?

May 6, 2009, 06:33 PM
stranger asks:

Casual: smile, and mean it, and say "lets keep it civil and safe, you need help with something?"

sketchy: focused eyes, calm demeanor "neither of us wants to go down that road."

dangerous: Well, they already know because it's pointed at them.


Someone you know asks:

casual: "Would it make you feel safer if I was?"

answer is no: "I left it in the car"
answer is yes:"then don't worry"

sketchy: "carrying what?"
answer is nevermind: "okay"
answer is gun: "Why would you ask me that?"
answer is I just want to know: "no, but you're making me kinda wish I was"

dangerous: step back, draw, point toward the ground between us "you just changed things man. Step back or I'll treat you like I don't know you."

notes: I don't yet carry and these are desk chair answers. I hope I never have to draw once I do get my license. I will only be carrying for actual life or death personal protection. I don't want to have to beg for my freedom because of some Rambo senario. These answers were thought out but maybe they're wrong. I really don't know what I'd say in either senario, but I do know how I'd react if someone was threatening my life and I actually feared that if I didn't act that I would die. Coming up with a catch phrase is kind of silly but also kind of fun. I hope that none of my answers scare anyone, as I probably really wouldn't say anything snappy. It entirely depends on the person, how safe you feel around them, why they were asking and whether you felt that they were actually threatening your and possibly moving towards threatening your life.

May 6, 2009, 06:38 PM

May 6, 2009, 07:50 PM
Swine flu? Yes.

May 6, 2009, 07:56 PM
No, I just like you. :)

May 6, 2009, 08:08 PM
No, it's one of those old cell phones attached to my belt, the charger is in the backpack.

Cruncher Block
May 6, 2009, 08:19 PM
Depends on whether or not I am obligated to share that information.

Usually, "No".

May 6, 2009, 08:25 PM
Unless you're a LEO, it's NOYB.

May 6, 2009, 09:06 PM
define "are"

I did not have carrying relations with that weapon

I'm not carrying, I don't even own a gun. I THINK YOU'RE CARRYING!(this follows my motto of "admit nothing, deny everything, make counter accusations)

May 6, 2009, 09:20 PM
Grab your crotch and say something a little crude. ;)

the rifleer
May 6, 2009, 09:29 PM
Ya, you wanna pop off a couple rounds? It usually makes me feel better.

Only on days that end with "y".

Hey, I'm asking the questions here, buddy!!!

The question is, are YOU carrying?

Mutter something very softly and walk away...

answer No and node your head Yes at the same time.

note- obviously this isn't the right thing to say and i dont carry... I also cant follow instructions.

May 6, 2009, 10:42 PM
No...Do I look pregnant to you?

Yes...Twins (especially if you have your backup that day!)

Wait a minute mister... I didn't even kiss her

May 6, 2009, 10:51 PM
"Do you really want to find out?"

"You really *don't* want to find out."

"Stand right here and act like a paper target."

May 7, 2009, 12:45 AM
If Mae West was asking I would just say I'm glad to see her!

May 7, 2009, 01:45 AM
My parents: "Yeah" (They'll feel better)

My Girlfriend: "I don't know, think you can find it?" (Let the fun begin. Actually, she wouldn't ask, she already knows)

A friend: "Yeah, shoulder holster" ( He's probably carrying, too)

A stranger: I practice a dirty look that ends all conversation :p

May 7, 2009, 07:21 AM
Grab your crotch and say something a little crude

you beat me to it.

May 7, 2009, 07:25 AM
Since I teach at a University (and carry is currently prohibited by law) I find it interesting that I get this question from time to time.

In class I've come up with a couple of satisfactory answers:

1. Smile, look right at the questioner, "That would be illegal."

My students did not overlook that I did not answer the direct question, so it leaves the answer ambiguous.

2. Smile, look right at the questioner, "Would it make you want to study harder if the answer was 'yes'?"

For what it's worth, any student of game theory understands that an important element of concealment is the doubt a criminal has. Even people who don't carry will benefit if a criminal just can't be certain. So I like to play the uncertainty card, but I like to do it in a playful sassy way.

When a colleague asked me in the hallway a few days ago, I just smiled, looked at him, and said, "I might be." I remarked to the student next to me that the question was very serendipitous (since we were on our way to the parking lot to make our way to the local shooting range).

May 7, 2009, 08:16 AM
My few close friends would never ask because they know the answer already. If anyone did ask me, I'd look surprised and I'd ask "why ask me a crazy question like that?" Then I'd move on to another topic. If they persisted, I'd tell 'em to cut it out with their crazy questions, to leave me alone.

May 7, 2009, 09:01 AM
Okay, for whatever reason, it is possible that someone wonders if you are carrying or not. For some who are less inhibited, or maybe a friend who knows you participate in shooting sports, they may just come out and ask you:

"Are you carrying?"

What would be your three best creative answers that would best defuse the situation without answering the question directly?

Wow, that completely depends on who is asking and how they are asking.

For example my wife has, in certain situations, (crossing a BIG, VERY dark store parking lot at night) asked me. In that case she gets a simple, reassuring answer.

Asked by a business owner once, my reply was "Yes, is there a problem?"

On the other hand I had a friend of a friend who seemed to think it was all a big joke to loudly ask me if I was "packin' today" when we were out in various public places. I finally got fed up one afternoon and the conversation went like this.
Him: "Hey man, you PACKIN' today?" (snide tone used loudly and in public)
Me: (in my best condescending tone) "Hey man, you stopped beating your wife yet?

If memory serves that was pretty much the last time he chose to talk to me. :D

May 7, 2009, 09:34 AM
"The voices in my head told me to........ and sometimes I do what they say, sometimes I don't."

May 7, 2009, 11:02 AM
Why do you ask?
Is there somebody around that needs shooting?


May 7, 2009, 11:22 AM
My colostomy bag. Can you help me change it?

May 7, 2009, 12:28 PM
I too used the "colostomy bag.. thanks for pointing out my handicap" on a guy who needed a good verbal slapping. My four general answers are situation specific:
"Why do you ask?"
"No Sir/Ma'am."

I use them interchangably depending on who's asking, where I am and what my mood is. All of which basically means it's Nobody's Damn Business But Mine.

And once, when I was feeling charitable, I answered the question this way:
"You know, my granddaddy lived to be almost 90 years old. You know how? By minding his own {deleted} business."

May 7, 2009, 12:30 PM
Always say yes.

May 7, 2009, 12:53 PM
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.

I've used almost the same line. I tell them it's my insulin pump. Cut's them off real quick.

May 7, 2009, 02:49 PM
"I'll tell you if you tell me what color underwear you're wearing."

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you."

"What, and ruin the surprise?"

Some of those in my life know the answer's always yes, the others have no clue and no reason to ask.

May 7, 2009, 03:06 PM
"Yup, a big hogleg."

Willie Lowman
May 7, 2009, 06:47 PM
My colostomy bag. Can you help me change it?

That's great! I have a friend who has a bag on his side, don't you ever ask him what that is under his shirt, he'll show you. Lot's of fun at the airport! :barf:

To answer the OP's question, *not quite grabbing crotch but putting hands in the area* "I'm just a humble man with a big, uh, gun. Well, I guess I'm not that humble." :D (I would never say that)

Or "No."

Or "Fifteen in the clip and one in the hole. Mess with me, I make yo' body turn cold." (I would never say that either)

May 7, 2009, 06:55 PM
A 44 mag, I'll blow your head clean off :cool:

Do you still want my wallet, watch & cell phone? :D

Mine's bigger than yours :eek:

So my girlfriend tells me :D

May 7, 2009, 07:54 PM
You could say--

Got a problem?

You want to see the **** in my colostomy bag??

May 7, 2009, 09:10 PM
Stranger asks: Stranger has never asked and if they did I would ignore them like I don't know what they are talking about.

Wife asks: Either: "Duh." or "nope. They sell beer here and I'm having four."
Friends ask (who also do): We just say to each other, "You?" and answer, "Yep. You?" It's a courtesy when we go to each other's houses. If we are going to drink beers watching the game they go in the person's house safe. Every time.

May 7, 2009, 09:26 PM
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.

That was the first excuse i thought of when i started carrying!:D

May 8, 2009, 12:42 AM
In the immortal words of Mark Wahlberg in The Departed:
"maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe go **** yourself."

Them: "Are you carrying?"
You: "Ah, I bet you're just dying to find out ;)"

May 8, 2009, 09:56 AM
Why would someone ask you that? I can't say that anyone has ever asked me.

I will say that I have an old friend who constantly gets comments, but he brings it on himself. He constantly seems to be "accidentally" flashing his gun. Of course, he also constantly tells everyone he was a former cop (with about 3 months service time).

If your gun is concealed, no one should be asking you.

May 8, 2009, 10:24 AM
Look blank a dn say "Carry What?"

May 8, 2009, 10:41 AM
Simple smile is all they get.:)
Let their imagination do the rest.
It's none of their concern anyway.
If they push the issue I'll reply - do you want to see the badge also. If so I'll need to pull it out of my ass.
That stops all questions right there. LMAO!

Carne Frio
May 8, 2009, 12:11 PM
" I'm just horny.":D

May 8, 2009, 02:05 PM
No one has ever asked me if I was carrying. I don't know why they would, either they know or don't see it until needed.

May 8, 2009, 02:11 PM
"... It's my colostomy bag. Wanna see it?"

May 8, 2009, 04:12 PM
Most of my coworkers know that I am an instructor for the TX CHL course and I am considered the "gun guy" here. I get asked fairly regularly if I'm carrying. (some of my co-workers obsess about "catching" me)

My standard answer is: "Company policy forbids the carrying of weapons." they get that and a smile.

Other answers include:
"Yes, a 12 gauge"
"A gentleman never asks"
"Carrying what?" accompanied by a blank look
"Only your sorry A*S, get back to work."


May 9, 2009, 02:40 PM
"Do you wanna try and take my wallet & find out? well, do ya, PUNK"

I reckon that would be cool :cool:

May 9, 2009, 05:03 PM
Carrying what?

May 9, 2009, 06:20 PM
I usually ask them a question in return, without really answering theres.
"Am i wearing pants?"

May 9, 2009, 06:37 PM
Say: "Yeah, I got two guns." Then flex your biceps.

May 9, 2009, 08:10 PM
"Are you carrying?"

first answer: Why, are you?

second answer: Why are you asking me that?

third answer: I don't answer questions like that.

there is no fourth answer because I am making plans to leave if the third answer ever is used


May 9, 2009, 09:25 PM
I just happened to see a creative way to know if your pal is carrying or not this afternoon. Half as a joke, half serious two of my co-workers hugged at an off-duty social function, the hug was very close and the hands went to the small of the back and gently felt their way around the waist. One said "You're hot." The other said "Why aren't you?".

Luckily I was only on my first drink so I caught on and knew who to hide behind in case someone came to steel the Shiner.

May 10, 2009, 06:25 PM
"Yea, I'm looking for someone that owes me money."

May 10, 2009, 07:13 PM
Q: Are you carrying?
A: Are you wearing boxers, briefs, or a man-thong?

May 11, 2009, 10:40 PM
I'm just holding for a friend.

May 11, 2009, 11:09 PM
Yeah, a few extra pounds, but I am going on a diet soon. :rolleyes:

Blue Steel
May 14, 2009, 12:06 AM
"Are you carrying?"

"Yes, I care about small children, dogs, and the environment."

May 14, 2009, 04:35 AM
Scorpian, Was this hug a man and woman or 2 women? If 'tween men that is a blatant violation of man rules... when a hug is warranted it is to be one arm each above opposite shoulder and one arm around the back but not at low waist ready and no sliding gropes allowed:D:eek:

May 14, 2009, 06:51 AM
Good friends and co-workers know to ask "What are you carrying?" as the answer to "are you" is always yes.
Wife only checks when in a long wait at a restaraunt. If its busy she'll go for a bar table, that only works if I just left church (illegal here).
As a previous poster said "If its properly concealed, why would they ask?"
LEO "Yes Sir, 1 o'clock IWB, permits in my wallet. How would you like to handle this?"

May 14, 2009, 07:39 AM

May 14, 2009, 12:01 PM
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"

....and so on.....:D

May 14, 2009, 12:31 PM
I tend to avoid foolish questions like this.

If I'm asked by a LEO, I will say yes and then proceed to identify myself and produce creds. I can't remember the last time a non-LEO ever even asked me such a question.

For those of you that may think I don't carry off duty. :D

Just to give an example, I recently got drug, kicking and screaming I might add, to a party with a bunch of Engineers from Raytheon in the desert southwest. I was drug there by my better half, and dress was casual. I was wearing Cargo Shorts and flip-flops if that's any indication as to how casual.

I wore two guns, concealed of course and had four reloads, as well as my usual compliment of two knives. Nobody tumbled on to the fact that I was carrying one gun, let alone my usual two.

This is really a question that a concealed carrier or off duty LEO should never receive. If you folks are receiving these questions I would look at two things. First, either your concealment sucks, and needs vast improvement, or you have opened your mouth and let your brains dribble out, telling the world.

Something to think about. BTW: the two guns I was carrying? One was a Browning High Power, the other was a J-Frame.


May 27, 2009, 08:13 AM
just a grenade, want to hold it? i'll keep the pin!

May 27, 2009, 08:22 AM
All of my friends already know the answer to that question.

SP Shop Foreman
May 27, 2009, 11:22 AM
Back in my folks' day the question was "Are you holding?" http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v87/zfk3155/eusa_whistle.gif


Tucker 1371
May 27, 2009, 09:32 PM
It appears I have been censored... probably rightly so :D... my post was a little, uh, crude :D. Just being creative, that was a stipulation by the OP :D, guess I was a little too creative.

May 27, 2009, 10:43 PM
If it's someone I know, I answer the question. If it's someone I don't know, I don't.

May 27, 2009, 11:29 PM
As a previous poster said "If its properly concealed, why would they ask?"
Because they bumped into it, or accidentally felt it during a friendly hug or any other way of becoming aware of it outside of visually.

If it is someone I know, I usually just answer to the affirmative if I am, or in the negative if I am not. As long as it's legal and I know the person, what's the big deal? It is especially important to be clear and honest while in someone's home or on their property.

If a stranger were to ask, however, I would just tell them to mind their own business. This has never happened to me.

For Law Enforcement Officers, I would obviously be up front and honest.

May 28, 2009, 09:17 PM
"... completely depends on who is asking and how they are asking." Absolutely!

However, most, if not all, the serious or semi-ambiguous answers suggested, not being a denial or effectively evasive, are tantamount to admitting you are carrying, or at least likely to be.

Better than smart answers is an effective change of subject. For example, "Carrying ......... hey, did you see that guy almost hit that woman crossing the road :eek: ; should we call it in ...?" etc.

I entertain folks on my private range occasionally, and conversation often turns to concealed carry; I'm happy to tell them all I know about it, so "the question" often arises. Since most of my closest friends don't know I carry, I don't want to answer.

Since I am among gunnies, I can say " it is bad form to ask, because it is to my disadvantage either for people to know if I'm armed or not" :cool: . That is a reasoned ambiguous response.

When a person knows I at least sometimes carry, I'll say no more than "I carry occasionally" when the question is about NOW.

I have never been asked by someone who has no clue about my habits. I'd try to avoid all responses that suggest I know about CC. "Whatever makes you think that?" would reveal what tack to take in dealing with the situation.

They might have seen or felt something, in which case a response is tough :o: . You might get away with "It's a multitool" (to my mind a gun IS a multiool), but if they ask to see the multitool, you are going to have problems and directness may be wisest. Better to say one is a trained, licensed carrier, and ask for confidentiality, than leave doubts, IMO.


May 30, 2009, 08:01 PM
Perhaps I am over cautious. I have never had any one ask me if I was carrying and have been for nearly 30 years. The only time someone did ask, was a co-worker (who carries also) just to make sure when we were in a questionable situation.

I go to great lengths to make sure that my package is not obvious. Wife beater shirt and a loose button up shirt worn on outside of trousers hides nearly anything in warmer weather, otherwise a jacket will hide my ccw.


May 30, 2009, 08:20 PM
Yes Iam carrying, Its a baby elephant want to see the trunk? Or something rude like that.

vox rationis
May 31, 2009, 12:01 AM
"Are you carrying a gun"?

"No, I'm just REALLY happy to see you"

errr...maybe that's not really that good :D

May 31, 2009, 02:01 AM
locked&loaded why

May 31, 2009, 09:20 AM
to a co worker on the job. "no that is against company policy, I may not like the policy, I do like my job."
A family member "since when have I not"
A friend that knows me well will just ask what I am carrying
Other than that the awnser is just "no that is why run every day, keeps the extra weight off, I do not like to cary any extra body weight"

May 31, 2009, 09:39 AM
"If you have to ask,you don't need to know"

Or-" I don't answer questions like that"

May 31, 2009, 02:26 PM
All of my friends already know that I am. A cop gets an honest answer. Anyone else SHOULD know better than to ask that kind of question, so I'll just assume they had not spoken. If they get upset that I'm not answering their invasive interrogation, then my only response is, "I have difficulty understanding stupid questioners."

May 31, 2009, 05:11 PM
To the friends who know I carry (which is all the time): "I'm dressed, aren't I?"

To the obnoxiously curious: "Are you wearing underwear? If you can get personal, so can I".

To an old (rather attractive female) friend who knew I was a lawman and would commonly ask me - ala Mae West, "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?" I would always respond, "Most certainly!"

As many others, I seldom get asked. Nor am I above telling a blatant lie, if I feel the need.

June 1, 2009, 03:10 PM
My brother (rudely) asked yesterday in front of the entire family... my parents, wife and kid included. I just told him it's none of his business. He was mad, but he got over it...

June 1, 2009, 03:36 PM
my condom? yep
no im not pregnant
no I don't have an STD
no I don't have drugs on me
Yes, I am carrying, now try to guess exactly what...
What my prescription? I left it at home, I don't need to take it with me ya know.
yea I always take a pocket knife with me, it has so many uses!

June 1, 2009, 04:08 PM
To an acquaintance or friend I'm going somewhere with, "Ask me again before we get mugged" or "Ask me again when the car breaks down in the middle of the night"

Never had a stranger ask, but they would get either ignored or something like, "if I was, why would I want tell you?"

Sometimes you can throw people with an exceedingly *formal* response.
"I'm not inclined to volunteer that particular bit of information."

June 2, 2009, 03:51 PM
Casually: "That's what she said"

Not so casually: "That's what he said" while motioning to the gentleman behind you
When asked who you are talking about, "Oh, I guess he's not here anymore. I wonder why"

June 8, 2009, 12:41 AM
I know what you're thinking. "Is he carrying, or is he not?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as I may or may not have a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

June 8, 2009, 01:02 AM
I'm a man I can't carry a baby! Then again, with the right surgery somebody else could be my baby's daddy!

Tucker 1371
June 8, 2009, 01:07 AM
Just randomly go off on some lecture about theoretical physics... works every time :D.

June 9, 2009, 08:25 PM
Never been ask, don’t plan to be ask.

First rule: don’t share your hobby with neophytes.


June 10, 2009, 04:01 AM
What was that? I don't speak douche-bag.

June 14, 2009, 11:40 PM
I usually prefer one of two responses to this question:

1, ?QUE? :D

2. Death stare

June 16, 2009, 07:46 PM
In response to a stranger who is not in a law enforcement uniform: scan for threat, stare, long pause, "who wants to know?"

I see nothing humorous in a stranger getting in my business.

June 23, 2009, 09:57 AM
Unless I see a badge my answer is always no. No need for some nosy punk to know what I may or may not be carrying that day.

June 23, 2009, 03:42 PM
... I would show them my knife and say yeah...(gets there mind off the gun) and its a big knife...

June 23, 2009, 05:29 PM
I like this one best....
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"
"Are you carrying?"

....and so on.....:D


Q. Are you carrying?
A. Define "carrying"
Q. As in are you carrying a gun?
A. Define "gun".
Q. A handgun....a pistol or revolver?
A. Define "handgun, pistol, or revolver.

....and so on....


Start singing part of Bohemian Rhapsody....
....Mama I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun,....

Shawn Thompson
June 24, 2009, 08:09 AM
Friends: Already know

Strangers: Don't know

My wife: occasionally asks if I remembered to put my "teeth" in before I left the house.

Once I was asked WHY I carry a gun: I told them "Because cops are too heavy!"

June 24, 2009, 09:04 AM
I have a co-worker who carries concealed who (loudly) made a comment about my untucked shirt (almost always tucked in) and asked whether I was carrying. :mad: Idiot!

Doc Intrepid
June 24, 2009, 09:23 AM
I have a co-worker who carries concealed who (loudly) made a comment about my untucked shirt (almost always tucked in) and asked whether I was carrying. Idiot! For that you need to quote Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) in "Tombstone":

"Why Ed, what an ugly thing to say! Does this mean we'ah not friends any moah?"


June 26, 2009, 01:12 PM
All of my friends know I carry all the time. If a stranger were to ask, I'd probably give him something like...
"What makes you think that's any of your business?"