View Full Version : what am I to do???

February 5, 2009, 11:05 PM
So here is how it happened. I am currently away from home on a Deployment. My wife is at home and almost 6 months pregnant with my son. Today something happened that really upset me. This happened to my wife. This morning as my wife was headed to work she walked out the door of our apartment and was stopped by a man supposedly selling magazines. She told him that she was late for work and kept walking to her car. At this point she realized she left her phone in the house and went back to get it. This is the biggest mistake she could make. She went inside and the guy followed her. HE actually walked into the entry way of our apartment and looked around the inside of our place. My wife yelled at him to get out and grabed her mace, and pointed it at him and told him to leave. He put his hands up and left and she immediatly called the police. Since my wife is the person she is...she made a poster that had the number of days till I came home and put it up in our living room so of course this guy saw that. He sayed "So is your husband deployed?". I really don't know what to do at this point fellas. I am gone, my wife is alone with our dog and she's pregnant, and a stranger entered my home and knows that I am gone. What should I do??? This really worries me.

February 5, 2009, 11:24 PM
Is she armed? I would have her contact the powers that be that have the jurisdiction over the neighborhood and have them step up daylight patrols as there are known rings of criminals that use the door to door magazine sales thing as an M.O.
Most areas of modern populace require the sales firm and people to be permitted and/or background checked as a way to hinder these criminals and give reason to charge them...

February 5, 2009, 11:39 PM
If she's local I can give her my number as an emergency contact, between my wife and myself one of us is always home. Also I would be willing to check up on her from time to time. I mean no disrespect by this so please save the "inuendo" jokes for another thread guys as this Man seems to be in need of some genuine assistance here. If she does NOT have a Firearm I have one that I would be willing to sell her for $1.00 (ONE DOLLAR) to keep with her at the appt until you get home. You may find it in your heart to sell it back to me then after you return. I would also be willing to donate my time, equipment and ammunition for a few sessions of firearms instruction if need be. I did not see what state you are from but I am in the Milwaukee WI area. If she is within a few hours I would be willing to make the trip. Don't let the Paranoia destroy ya, but PLEASE have her be careful and SMART. -Goodspeed

February 5, 2009, 11:46 PM
Have your wife engage the neighbors as additional eyes and ears.
Watching out for each other, so to speak.
Also have her contact the local police (if they didn't take any action on the first call), and make them really aware of the presence of a realtively brazen door-to-door salesperson.
File a trespassing or burglary report if necessary to get the incident on record (this would depend on the local laws...)
I'm pretty sure that her SA has ratcheted up a notch or two, but have her remain aware and vigilant, and if she sees the same guy in the area again, call the police immediately...

February 6, 2009, 12:01 AM
I also would be willing to lend a hand. Always happy to help a American Soldier. I live in Westminster, CO. Let me know if I can be of assistance. Best of luck to you on your tour. Good hunting!

February 6, 2009, 12:05 AM
Thankfully I've given my wife some firearms training before I left. She knows how to use my SIG P226. I left that with her and I told her to take the rest of my guns up to her parents house. In reference to your post Godspeed, I thank you for the offer and if we lived closer to WI I'd have probably taken you up on that offer. We live on the northwest side of San Antonio. Unfortunatley our part of town has been on the downward spiral for a couple of years now. Criminals are getting more and more bold everyday around where we live. This one just kind of put me over the edge. She's gave a report to the police and they said they are going to step up daytime patrols around our apartments. She also reported him to the apartment staff as soliciting of any kind is prohibited in our complex.

February 6, 2009, 12:07 AM
A. have a friend teach her how to use the 500 and have her keep it handy in the appartment.

B. Have her get a BIG German Sheppard at least 150 lbs. I have two and I don't worry when I am away, they will sound a warning when anyone even passes the house and will tear apart anyone that even looks like they are going to my wife even me. One we have had since it was 10 weeks old the other we got from pet rescue.

Dogs will change the equation and keep her safe.


February 6, 2009, 12:44 AM
dogs are great

Maybe rent a protection dog.


February 6, 2009, 12:47 AM
alittle vedio of 1 in action


February 6, 2009, 01:16 AM
I know this is hard and if I was in the same situation I would be upset also. Take advantage of the offers of help from the folks close but try not to overreact. Seems like your wife is pretty sharp. Tell her to stay alert. She probably won't even need that advice after this incident. Maybe she can have a girlfriend stay with her for a while. Hopefully it was nothing but you only can do all you can, which I am sure you already are. Has she contacted the authorities? I think that would be wise. Any family members close to her?
Come home safe, I pray your wife will be safe also.

February 6, 2009, 01:25 AM
I agree, It may be an inconvienience but any GOOD friend of yours/hers would have no problem crashing on the couch for a while. Tell her to keep her SA on Orange when she's out, and have an exit/escape plan in the event of the worst case (a break in).... I know the castle Doctrine permits you from having to leave your home but in an apartment complex i'd imagine that being outside with a good set of lungs would be a great asset in the event of a break in.... MOST OF ALL i'd suggest that you relax and keep your wits about you, i'd hate to hear that there was an accident while you were deployed because you were distracted with this. (I Don't want to be insensitive and i'm not telling you to "Forget about it" but just to keep focused when you can.) Ask the local authorities to do some passes when they can and i think based on what you've said about her and her knowledge you'll be fine.

February 6, 2009, 01:34 AM
Home Defense Products > Pepper Spray Booby Trap



Would you like to be alerted by a wireless voice alarm when..............


February 6, 2009, 01:48 AM
Tell her to go to a gun range and ask for a paper target that has bee shot, with about 20 holes in it. Have her tape it up in a window near the front door.

As she is pregnant, I woundn't recommend a firearm at ths time. Instead, have her get a Tazer (The actual brand name product).

February 6, 2009, 07:56 AM
As she is pregnant, I woundn't recommend a firearm at ths time. Instead, have her get a Tazer (The actual brand name product).

Why not? Pregnancy doesn't affect the function of the trigger finger.

February 6, 2009, 08:15 AM
Depends on how far along she is... early in the pregnancy, no harm (and I've taken a pregnant friend shooting, BTW... 10mm!) but later in the pregnancy you've got all kinds of things to consider, from the air quality to the noise to the shockwaves, all of which is magnified on an indoor range.

It's not a great idea at 6 months pregnant.

GetYerShells, I hope you get this worked out. Not to compound your problem, but it's better and easier to plan ahead than to be trying to figure out what to do now, while you are away from the situation.

February 6, 2009, 11:24 AM
Pepper Spray Booby Trap

Booby trap = jail time, for YOU.

Tell her to USE the mace next time and call the cops. What he did is called illegal entry.

February 6, 2009, 11:53 AM
Depends on how far along she is... early in the pregnancy, no harm (and I've taken a pregnant friend shooting, BTW... 10mm!) but later in the pregnancy you've got all kinds of things to consider, from the air quality to the noise to the shockwaves, all of which is magnified on an indoor range.

It's not a great idea at 6 months pregnant.

I don't think they were talking about regular practice with the firearm, rather keeping the firearm at the ready for self defense. A couple of shots into a BG by a pregnant woman without concern for the effects on the pregnancy are a much better option than not shooting because of the pregnancy.

February 6, 2009, 04:08 PM
Good on you for teaching her how to handle the Sig.

It looks like she had difficulty managing the guy (making him leave the area before entering the home), giving him too much personal information, or getting the phone overrode the personal safety priority.

I really like the ShivWorks DVD, PUC.

It covers managing strangers verbally & with body language, movement, and also some empty hand strikes. There's also a class coming up at the end of March, just West of Houston.

February 6, 2009, 06:11 PM
As she is pregnant, I woundn't recommend a firearm at ths time. Instead, have her get a Tazer (The actual brand name product).

Not sure how the need to protect her life and her baby's would make it prudent for her to be without the most effective means to do just that.

February 6, 2009, 06:22 PM
1) Any chance she could move in with a relative until you get home? No telling what this bum might do with this info either himself or passing it along the grapevine.

2) She should be especially on guard entering or leaving the house. FerFAL in Argentina has posted many times how this is the most dangerous few seconds in daily life when crime goes rampant. Never just leave the house or just pull up and jump out. First take a few seconds to look around for anyone or anything hinky.

3) Better discipline with car and home door locks. She should get in the habit of IMMEDIATELY locking doors behind her even if she is just popping in and out of the car or house.

4) Big dog for the house, and she should carry or have a gun handy in the house.

February 6, 2009, 06:31 PM
Be sure that the "mace" she's carrying is actually just pepper spray (capsaicin) and not a pepper and CS tear gas mixture. Soldiers who were or might be pregnant couldn't attend any training where they might be exposed to tear gas.

Here's a great link for self-defense items, including pure pepper spray...


Kimber's "Guardian Angel" 90mph Pepper Spray is an excellent device for dispensing this spicy seasoning... :D

Check out the video link on this site...


Hondo11's Tazer suggestion sounds like a good plan too... :)



February 6, 2009, 06:47 PM
Be sure that the "mace" she's carrying is actually just pepper spray (capsaicin) and not a pepper and CS tear gas mixture. Soldiers who were or might be pregnant couldn't attend any training where they might be exposed to tear gas.

Excellent advice. This can not be stressed enough. Pregnant women should never be exposed to these kinds of chemicals...or even risk being exposed.

February 6, 2009, 07:32 PM
A big +1 for getting a dog.
If it isn't practical to get a dog, maybe borrow one from family?
A good dog will catch on very quick.
I've always had a dog or two around. They are the absolute best alarm system and first defense.

I'm very sorry you have to think about this right now, but I'm sure she'll be fine if she just keeps on alert. Remind her to keep her eyes open a little more (like she won't be already).
I was thinking the same thing as a couple others above about checking on her once in a while if you lived close by. It's hard to deal with when you're away, I know. I've been in similar situations as you. Too bad I'm on the east coast or I would. Hell, she could live here with my fiancee if she wanted to, and talk about stupid girl stuff all evening while I sneak off to my buddys place.... :D

You stay safe yourself, bud, and it will all be over before you know it.

February 6, 2009, 07:36 PM
She has access to a firearm and the ability to use it? Great. Should she need to avail herself to its use, the concerns about the actual use pale in comparison to the potential alternative.

The suggestion to bone up on managing unknown contacts is a sound one.

Since chemical alternatives are ill advised, I recommend noise making ones. Can she carry the pistol legally? If not, can she carry a Tazer legally? If so, another recommendation to consider it. It is indeed a second place alternative, but an effective one and better than a pistol in the house should the need occur outside.

God bless and good luck.

February 6, 2009, 07:41 PM
Make sure the Family Support Group for your unit is made aware of this. They may be able to bring more resources to bear on the situation. Our FSG coordinated with the Provost to get some "presence" in certain areas during deployments.

Having lived in SA, a coordinated effort between LEO and Military Police will make the area WAY less attractive to criminals. And I am sure the local LEO would welcome any additional asistance the Army sent along.

This is obviously in addition to the Sig, pepper spray and her SA. Uniforms won't be there all the time.

Any chance to get her moved to base housing? Maybe not, but worth asking up the chain.

Stay safe, stay focused. Hard to do, but your buddies are counting on it and your wife is counting on you coming back as well.

Thanks for your service!

February 6, 2009, 08:02 PM
Hondo11's Tazer suggestion sounds like a good plan too...

I didn't recommend the taser. That was someone else. Pregnant or not, I'd have her using a pistol to defend herself. Tasers work while they're ON. What's she gonna do, leave it running until the police get there? The dude would look like cooked bacon when they finally arrived.

February 6, 2009, 08:13 PM
Thanks for your service!

BIG +1 on that.

Be safe man, keep your prayers going (If you are a believer) i'll send some as well (Even if you're not) And i'm sure It'll all be fine. That's not just a kind word, Based on what you've said about her and some of the GREAT ideas that have been posted I'm fully confident that things will be great. You'll look back and chuckle in 10 (If you even remember)

Good Luck Buddy

February 7, 2009, 12:03 AM
Ok a quick update. My wife decided to go up and spend the remaining days of my deployment at her parents house. They live about 40 mins north of us in Cibolo TX. She's going to go down to our place a few times a week just to check on things. I told to to make sure before she gets out of the car to give a quick scan of the area and see if anyone she doesn't recognize is around. Anything that looks out of the ordinary usually is. I just told her to make sure to keep her witts about her. I also told her to take our dog with her everywhere she goes. We have a black lab. Not exactly a great guard dog but she's big and looks intimidating. I plan on geting a Doberman when I get home to step up our security system. Thank you for all the great advice everyone. I really appreciate the help.

February 7, 2009, 12:07 AM
I'm glad you had that opportunity available! Stay safe.

February 7, 2009, 12:44 AM
Great update, but as a suggestion, don't sell your Lab short on its "protection" capabilities. They can be very formidible when things get hinky, and they know when things aren't "right".

They generally have a great sense of "family", and will be a wonderful companion to your soon to be born child.

I'd omit the Dobie plans, and rely on the Lab... ;)

February 7, 2009, 02:16 AM
I don't recommend guns for Pregnant women because of the noise issue, and the high possibility of Lead exposure (http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=127368) from the primers. Doctors also recommend pregnant women not eat a lot of tuna because of lead contamination issues.

I realize the high importance of protecting the wife against immediate dangers. I just want to point out future dangers certain self defense choices may have on the baby.

Interestingly enough, Tazers do have a "leave ON" feature. If the user desires, the Tazer can be left ON, shocking the assailant for up to 30 seconds, giving a small escape window. An extra 30 seconds could give the wife time to either grab a firearm, or escape the area. As a matter of fact, The manufacturer's warranty states that chould you use the Tazer in self defense, and subsequently loose it (because you ran away for instance), if you send Tazer a copy of a police report, Tazer will send you a brand new one, free of charge.

Tazers can be carried without a permit in 43 states (according to their website).

February 7, 2009, 03:33 AM
glad to her your wifes ok man! god bless you for Serving too! my suggestion would have been call some buddies that are on base and not deployed to check on her. poop for brains might think twice bout messing witha couple military guys.

February 7, 2009, 08:29 AM
I'm glad to hear your wife is okay and I hope all remains well for you. After the child is born and when she's able to, consider getting her a gun, one that she picks out. Then get lots of practice on the range with her.

Normally I wouldn't advise leaving your home unattended after something like that happened, but in your case that's absolutely the best option. I'm really glad to hear she at least had pepper spray on her. Good luck and hopefully you'll return home safe and soon!

my suggestion would have been call some buddies that are on base and not deployed to check on her. poop for brains might think twice bout messing witha couple military guys.

+1 to that! If you know any younger guys that you trust a whole bunch that still live in the dorms/barracks maybe one or two of them would be willing to stay at your place while your wife is away. They'd probably be willing to get out of the dorms for a while and it'll deter the crap out of most BG's.

February 7, 2009, 12:14 PM
Ultimate protector i.m.o.

Para Bellum
February 7, 2009, 03:18 PM
Get her a taser C1 and some "protected by Smith & Wesson"-Sickers for the door. That should do.

February 7, 2009, 04:34 PM
Glad to hear that everything worked out. I agree about the Lab. They are a great family dog and usually pretty freindly, but I have seen my mut go "HULK" a couple of times at the right moment.

Now, last bit of advise from someone that has deployed, GET YOUR MIND BACK INTO THE GAME, and come home safely.

February 7, 2009, 06:27 PM
I grew up farming, and everyone in my "town" (all 400 of us spread out a mile apart each) had labs... I know because we'd all meet for church on sunday and all you'd see were flat beds with old grey labs sleeping in the back.... Ours used to roam around at night and beat up coyotes two or three at a time (we watched her with Bi-nocs as she'd howl on the porch for a half hour then head off to the creek) took on porcupines twice (231 quills removed the first time) and i've heard stories of them getting bears on the lips good enough to get out alive with the bear high-tailing it. I don't know how to explain it, they are so loving and trusting but they sense it when you go from green to yellow, and you'll see their ears perk up and they'll put their nose to the ground for you. If someone came over and we didn't let them in immediately the hackles would stand up on the back of her neck and she'd let out a low rumble and get into a low - wide stance... They know.