View Full Version : If you thought mall ninjas were bad....People who think they're superheroes.

January 16, 2008, 02:28 PM
Um...Wow. People who think they're "real life superheroes"...and are gonna get shot.


For sheer investment in gadgetry, none top Superhero, an ex-Navy powerlifter from Clearwater, Florida. His patrol vehicle is a burgundy 1975 Corvette Stingray with a souped-up 425-horsepower engine. He wears a flight helmet installed with a police scanner and video camera, and carries an extendable Cobra tactical baton, a flash gun, sonic grenades, and a canister of bear mace. Topping off the one-man armory is an Arma 100 stun cannon, a 37mm nitrogen-powered projectile device. His ammo of choice? Sandwiches. "Nothing stops them in their tracks like peanut butter and jelly," he explains in a video demonstration posted online.

Once you've honed your body and strapped on your utility belt, it's time to decide how to focus your heroic efforts. Within the community of Reals, there's a buffet of choices. Some choose mundane tasks—The Cleanser strolls around picking up trash, while Direction Man helps lost tourists find where they're going. Most Reals also lend their personages to charities, donating to food banks or organizing clothing drives.

Other Reals scoff at the idea of being a glorified Salvation Army bell-ringer and instead go looking for action. "I fight evil," says Tothian, the New Jersey crimefighter who founded Heroes Network. "I don't think picking up garbage is superheroic."

Master Legend, a chrome-suited 41-year-old from Winter Park, Florida, patrols the streets looking for crimes in progress, and claims his efforts have paid off. "I've dumped garbage cans over crackheads' heads, I slam their heads against the wall, whatever it takes," the Silver Slugger says with bravado. "They try to hit me first, and then it's time for Steel Toe City."


January 16, 2008, 04:34 PM
Yep, that's bad. I don't like looking for trouble when getting paid to do so. Doing it for free? Not a good thing IMHO

Every firearms instructor I have dealt with will tell you to avoid trouble first. Even in Security work or whilst enforcing them thar laws you want to try and conduct business so everybody walks away. These folks sound like bad news.

January 16, 2008, 07:49 PM
Wacked Dude

January 16, 2008, 10:44 PM
This is more disturbing than our current presidential nominee race.....

The Tourist
January 16, 2008, 10:55 PM
I'm sure they think they're sincere, but wow, "The Justice Weird of America."

hot sauce
January 16, 2008, 10:57 PM
Whoa! What a dork!:D

January 17, 2008, 08:44 AM
Our SuperHero will win a Darwin Award if he trys that silliness on a determined and armed foe.

January 17, 2008, 09:51 AM
Somebody watch the Florida paper for the following headline:

"Purse snatcher stabs, kills trashcan wielding Winter Park do-gooder"


"Florida do-gooder jailed after assaulting innocent man with trashcan"

Some people have way too much time on their hands. :barf: