View Full Version : Funniest thing I've ever heard about bears...

July 31, 2006, 03:00 PM
Check out this brochure on bear encounters in the woods as presented on "Prairie Home Companion" last weekend.

An actual "bear advisory for hikers" set to music.


Scroll down and click on the "Segment 2" link and then advance your player to about 4 minutes into the segment to hear the introduction and then the song.

Put down your coffee before you listen: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

:D :D :D

July 31, 2006, 04:31 PM
Fast forward to 7 minutes into it, not 4 minutes. Requires realplayer. Comedy, dude.

August 1, 2006, 04:52 PM
Pretty funny but good advice, none the less. They forgot to mention keeping your hand on your gun while being "assertive". I wonder why?

I particularily liked the "if you have bear spray, now is the time to use it". No kidding?

I think the "playing dead" position mentioned could be improved by placing your head between your knees. All of you know why. :D I'm sure that the advice "to spread your legs" while playing dead is to keep the bear from rolling you over, not what those of us with less than clean minds might imagine.

On a serious note, how much do you think the pamphlet being spoofed cost us, the taxpayer? Not so funny, now, is it.

Fat White Boy
August 4, 2006, 12:53 AM
I had always heard that you should carry pepper spray and have bells on your clothing so you don't surprise the bears when hiking in bear country. You can tell what kind of bears are in the area by their scat. If there are black bears, the scat will have, berries, grass, roots and maybe the bones of small mammals. If it is grizzly scat, it will also have berries, grass, roots, bones of mammals, bells and pieces of pepper spray cans in it...