View Full Version : Squirrelzilla!

June 16, 2005, 07:52 PM

Hootin' Holler Tribune: Clem Dawson thought he had seen everything in his 40 years living in Cowpie Corners, but he'd never seen anything like the horrific surprise that greeted him Wednesday morning. Says Clem: "Yep, Ah'd just got through beatin' my wife as usual after breakfast when ah heard a rustlin in the brush out back by where I keep a salt lick. I grabbed mah trusty thutty-thutty rifle and headed out back, expectin' to see a deer, when what do I see, but the mother of all squirrels! When I tried to draw a bead on him he showed his 8 inch fangs and hissed and I soiled my overalls right there, yessir! Then as he came at me, he stepped on mah sourmash still, bustin' it all to hell, and I said, Mr. Squirrel, prepare to meet your maker, cuz Ah'm a fixin' to introduce you to him! I let fly with 6 rounds of thutty-thutty before he was on me, and then it was hand-to-paw! Fortunately, my trusty hound, Zeke got ahold of his privates and kept him busy while I got mah double barreled shotgun, and I let him have both barrels just as he was a fixin' to get hold of my prized dawg! He was 14 feet from nose to tip of tail if he was an inch, and weighed in down at the feed store at over 900 pounds! (see photo). Fortunately, mah wife has plenty of heirloom squirrel recipes, because after we get him dressed out, we're gonna be eatin' squirrel for years!" Photo Credits: Associated Press.

June 16, 2005, 08:32 PM
Ehh I don't know...the suspension doesn't seem to be effected at all by the 900 pounds of squirrel. And it looks to be about 9 license plates long, which doesn't quite add up to 14 feet. Looks like another hoax to me.

June 16, 2005, 11:17 PM
I just love the wonders of digital photography! Cool picture! Looks like some the squirrels that routinely visit my bird feeder. So do you think a 20 guage is big enough for squirrel huntin?

June 16, 2005, 11:23 PM
Thanks - Squirrelzilla sprung from my laboratory (evil laugh) ;) I think if you see Mr. Zilla at your feeder, you should give him all the corn you've got, and then run for it!

June 17, 2005, 05:54 PM
I shot a squirrel about that size once, the meat was really tough though.

June 17, 2005, 07:46 PM
I've seen this picture on other forums and it IS a hoax. That Hummer is just a model on a miniture railroad display. The rodent is actual size. Good effort though. FWIT if this was true, National Geographic wouldl have a show on it soon.

June 17, 2005, 08:30 PM
I once shot at bigfoot, missed and hit a squirrel just about that size. It got away... Come to think of it, it was a lot bigger than that one. ;)

June 17, 2005, 08:48 PM
That's not a hummer, it's a jeep cherokee.

Apple a Day
June 18, 2005, 02:17 PM
Next thread: Best handgun/rifle/shotgun for giant squirrel. :eek:

Capt. Charlie
June 18, 2005, 02:28 PM
Aw c'mon fellers! I know for a fact that's a true story! I know 'cause my best buddy, Bubba, is a friend of the grandson of the uncle of the brother of Clem, and he told me so! 'sides, I gotta freezer full 'o squirrel meat from that there carcuss... or at least I think it's squirrel. Tastes more like possum though. Hmm.... 'sides again, you can see where that killer squirrel bit them slots in the grill 'o that Jeep. Why I'm going to saddle up my jackalope and go git 'ol Bubba, and he'll tell ya straight! Some hunters won't believe nothin' 'less it up an' bites 'em on the backside, or they's the ones that shot it.

June 18, 2005, 03:02 PM
Capt: Thanks for clearing that up! :D Since you will be having PLENTY of squirrel, I looked for some recipes on the net. Here's a dandy sounding one called "Roadkill Squirrel Squares". You may need to adjust the quantities a little bit for your squirrel though! :eek:

Roadkill Squirrel Squares

The Ingredients
- 1 Flattened squirrel
- 1 Bottle of booze, home made
- 2 c Vegetables
- Collard greens
- White rice, cooked

1. Find a flattened Roadkill squirrel and pick out all the little hairs. Take it to the country kitchen and cut it into one inch squares.

2. Marinate squirrel overnight in a bowl of some homemade booze. Then dice some veggies mix with squirrel and fry `em in a skillet.

3. Take the homemade booze left in your bowl and tip it up, and kill it.

4. Cook your diced veggies and your squirrel until they smell real nice.

5. Serve `em with some collard greens upon a pile of cooked white rice.

Capt. Charlie
June 18, 2005, 03:11 PM
You forgot the grits!!! EVERYTHING'S gotta have a side of grits! :D :D :D

June 18, 2005, 09:59 PM
That looks like the bugger I took a shot at last season. I had about a 750yd shot at him, while he was climbing up this redwood. Well, I only had my .410 with some buck shot that I was using for the bull elk I was following. I went ahead and shot at the monster, but he moved up just as I shot, and all i hit was his tail. That's why he doesn't have a tail in this photo.

I would have taken a picture of the tail, but it blue out the back of the pickup on the way home. :eek:

June 19, 2005, 08:13 PM
Hmmmm.... if you took one like that in Texas, and CaptCharlie knows someone who took one in Ohio... that means the killer squirrels are spreading all over the nation!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: And they're hungry! :D

June 19, 2005, 10:30 PM
Its an infestation, I tell ya. :p

June 23, 2005, 05:14 PM
Did i tell you about the Black Albino Snorkasaurus I shot out back in the hills? He was chasin after the local Sasquatch with his laser gun so I off an dusted him at a clean half mile with the .270. I brained em and he fell in his tracks. Man oh man did he taste good with grits and gravy and a helpin of homemade whiskey.

Capt. Charlie
June 23, 2005, 10:37 PM
Hmm. Sounds like you tried a good bit 'o that homemade whiskey first. :D :D

June 24, 2005, 12:31 AM
Damn thing looks like a Frog! :D....

June 24, 2005, 02:22 AM

Hoax? How can you say that...?

That's no more a hoax than... than... than the Jackalope! :D

July 14, 2005, 03:31 AM
Hoax or not my .450 Marlin will put that right down. :cool: