Funny stories

[princess-bluey]

Who else has got funny stories?

I remember listening to my Dad & his mate having a yarn...
When Dad's mate was a very mischievous boy, (roughly in 1930's). His neighbour used to load saltpeter into shotgun cartridges to defend his watermelon patch against marauding youngsters. Having a gun pointed at you would scare the pants off anyone I reckon! He said it stung like hell & the only lasting effect was on his memory!

[princess-bluey]

I wasn't long out of nappies & I remember one Easter we had family come to visit from interstate. The older kids & menfolk went out spot lighting while the ladies stayed home with smaller kids. Dad had a 1969 Toyota Corolla utility with a bench seat that fit 2.5 butts. The rest piled into the back of the ute (before seat belt laws were introduced). Next morning my Aunt was using the old manual wringer washing machine & went to hang the clothes on the hills hoist (rotary clothes line). Next we hear a blood curdling scream! Mum said "what the!" & raced outside...
Aunt had put her hand into the peg bucket, only to discover a the furry body of a dead rabbit! We heard Dad & Uncle cackling inside, so the prankster was soon discovered. Boy! Did Dad ever get the rounds of the kitchen table over that one!

[M4Sherman]

Well my best is when We took my 20 year old cousin to the range and he THOUGHT he could handle the 10 gauge :D. It was funny watching him fall flat on his back while everyone else had a good chuckle and the to add insalt to injury I fired it twice with out flinching.......until he went home then I curled up like a lil baby:(

Or the time we tossed a snake into the "jonny" while my uncle was using the facility's.


(it was just a king snake)

[princess-bluey]

One thing I've noted about my Dad is that the yarns grew exponentially over the years. He never let the truth get in the road of a good story! My husband, scull&crossbones65, got on very well with my old man, & share a similar philosophy...

TFL, you've been warned, from time to time if sculls makes an outrageous statement, he's probably pulling your leg & trying to see how many nibbles he gets for his fishing!!!

[Richard from SE AZ]

My wife doesn't like snakes very much. Early one morning I started to go outside with a cup of coffee and on the front porch was a Bull snake about 5' long. I shut the door and went out the back and walked to the garage-shop and called my wife on the intercom we have set up and asked her to come give me a hand with something. I knew she would come out the front door and thought it was going to be really funny to see her reaction. She said just a minute(I didn't know she had already seen the snake!) and as I was walking toward the porch to amuse myself, I heard the blast of her Mossberg 500! It took me two days to repair the damage to the porch!!!

[Jim March]

Funniest self defense story I ever heard, period, end of discussion.

Living in the Berkeley CA area years ago, I knew some pretty weird people. Including one fairly small guy of around college age, who was just plain grabbed and (attempted) mugged walking home from the UC Berkeley campus around 3:00am. There were however certain facts the mugger (who outweighed the “victim” by over 150lbs plus had a two foot height advantage) didn't know, to wit:

1) The “victim” was dressed all in black because he was going home after a “live action role playing” game on campus grounds.

2) Said game was called “Vampire: The Masquerade”.

3) Said participant was wearing sunglasses to conceal the cat's-eye decorative contact lenses he was still wearing. In lurid green and red.

4) Weirdest of all, another player worked as a dental technician and you guessed it, was providing temporary false teeth sets of very high quality that would make a Doberman jealous.

We don't know exactly where the mugger went after the “victim” whipped off his sunglasses, gave an evil hiss and lunged at the guy's throat. This was around 1993. It's a fair bet the barsterd is either still running, or was scared so straight he's a baptist preacher somewhere far away from Berkeley, People's Democratic Republic Of...

[hogdogs]

'Twas 30 years ago or so. I was a tiny kid and my bestest shootin' buddy was the same age but "normal size". Usually we shot BB guns but one day I had dad's 12 gauge single shot and "C" had what may have been a wingmaster 20 gauge IIRC. He would laugh at my "junk" battered relic and I did love the rich wood of his "classy pump". He asked "How bad is the kick?" I said "It smarts but nuttin' I can't handle." I then said "Here give it a try." He replied "Man that thing will knock me on my butt..." I egged him on as I was a good 15 pounds lighter. Then in an unusual stroke of genius I said "Well just lean against a tree so it can't knock you down..." dern if he didn't go for it...:eek: He fired off a round and immediately dropped the gun and fell flat on his face squalling like a car hit dog.:D I fell down laughing and 'bout peed my pants... He was too sore at first to scrap over it then seeing me uncontrollably laughing that it became contagious and he ended up laughing it off too. The bruise told the story though!
Brent

[Brian Pfleuger]

My uncle and I were hunting woodchucks.
We were standing near the center of a field using a round hay bale for cover. After a few minutes I saw a quite young whitetail fawn come out of the woods into the field, maybe 200 yards away. I thought for sure that it had seen us because it was staring in our direction non-stop. However, my uncle was looking the other way and soon enough a large doe was spotted standing on a knoll just outside the field. (We are now directly between the fawn and it's momma.)
After a minute or two the fawn made a beeline for it's mother, on a heading that was to take it less than 3 feet from the bale which we were behind. As I'm watching it run my uncles says "Watch this...." When that little fawn got just about parralel with us my uncle jumps out from behind the bale--- "YAAAARRRGHHH!!!" he yells.
Still to this day the funniest thing I have ever personally witnessed. A whitetail fawn can jump VERY high. It must have been 8 feet in the air, legs still sort of running but more like just flailing around.
It did regain composure and landed OK, continuing on to it's momma, where they both stood looking at us like we were the two most evil people on the planet. I have never laughed so hard in my life, I'm laughing even now as I type this and it's been probably 15 years.

[grymster2007]

It's a fair bet the barsterd is either still running, or was scared so straight he's a baptist preacher somewhere far away from Berkeley,

I don't know where the "victim" went, but I think I saw the Vampire guy in Berkeley just yesterday. He was the normal looking one. :)

[princess-bluey]

G'day. If you mark an 'x' On the tip of a FMJ using a Xylene free felt tip permanent marker, it will fragment better then one that has been cut. It has something to do with a chemical reaction on the gilding metal used for jacketed projectiles. The good thing about this method is that the forensic lab cannot detect the customised modification. You just tell them the 'x' is so you can identify your bullets from other peoples.
Ssshhh!!! Don't blow his cover yet, let him have some fun! ;) :rolleyes: :D
Link to the fun (http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/showthread.php?t=355635)!