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Old October 21, 2012, 09:49 AM   #26
Sparks1957
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You'll get married and probably stay hen pecked. Eject now bro, while you still can
Ditto. Chances are, it won't get any better.

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Whose owns the house?
Ahh, the key question... if it's hers, you're under her rules while you're living there.
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Old October 21, 2012, 09:56 AM   #27
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Gaseous- are you saying rural areas are of lesser security concern for people who live there, like me?
define rural? Are we talking suburban areas outside of the city? Or are we talking the country? if we're talking the suburbs then I would say there is a slightly higher possibility of problems arising from home invasions and such. But the further out you go the less the crime imo. I think it's assumed that the majority of households in the country have firearms, thus, it's highly unlikely a criminal will try to kill you.

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I told her the gun is meant to protect us, to protect her against any random scumbags that may want to harm us. But she thinks living in the country excludes us from being victimized by robbers, meth heads, jihadists, communistic utopian mercenaries, jewel thieves, satanic sadomasochists, etc.
this quote from the OP merely demonstrates where his wife is coming from. they're in the country, not downtown Chicago. It seems pretty arrogant to assume a jihadist, commie, jewel thief or whoever, will want to kick down your door and try to kill you. To me this is absurd. I have more to be fearful of living in a heavily populated urban center than living in the country, yet I don't carry or have a handgun in my house
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:11 AM   #28
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But the further out you go the less the crime imo....they're in the country, not downtown Chicago. It seems pretty arrogant to assume a jihadist, commie, jewel thief or whoever, will want to kick down your door and try to kill you. To me this is absurd. I have more to be fearful of living in a heavily populated urban center than living in the country, yet I don't carry or have a handgun in my house
And in my opinion, you're making a very large assumption on both counts. Crime happens everywhere, and that was the point of my other post- just because it's out "in the country" doesn't make the situation any less possible or more safe.

I remember from the past that you have had the same issues as the OP. But in my opinion, if you think it's "absurd" you're not fully grounded in reality. All you have to do is look around and you'll find plenty of reports of violent crimes happening out in rural areas.

Edit to add- there was just a story from OK this past week where a 12-year old girl shot a guy who had kicked down the door and come into the home. What do you think he was up to? Just saying "Hi"?

Last edited by AH.74; October 21, 2012 at 10:43 AM.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:16 AM   #29
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It's not necessarily about fearing bad guys. The main issue here is that the person you are living with doesn't respect your personal choice to keep a "loaded" gun. A choice that in no way affects her. Your personal gun in your personal desk drawer should be of no consequence to anyone else. If they don't like it, they don't have to open your drawer.

If you want to compromise, move it to a lockable container that is quick to open, but keep it fully loaded.

Also, if you own the house or split the rent and you voluntarily slept on the couch, you were conceding that you were in the wrong. Unless she fully owns the place and gave you prior notice not to keep "loaded guns," you did nothing wrong.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:20 AM   #30
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Unspoken
I just got yelled at for keeping a handgun
You're going to have some guys tell you to teach your GF about firearms ...etc and be patient. Others will suggest that you jump ship or toss her out...etc.

Me - Ask yourself why you haven't gotten married after 8 years of living together. Having a pistol with a partially inserted mag is the least of your issues.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:23 AM   #31
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This is not about guns. This is about control.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:32 AM   #32
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The correct response....

Quote:
-I was a gun owner before we met
-I am a gun owner now
-if you leave, I will still be a gun owner. This is just not negotiable.

Where shall we go for dinner?
This will really spin up your girlfriend at first , only because it is a statement containing logic, reason, and rational thinking. After she has a few days to cool down and talk it over with her advisors, you will then have a whole group of females who hate you and your logic....
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:33 AM   #33
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Maybe she's afraid she'll use it on you.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:43 AM   #34
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My wife wouldn't even think of making me sleep on the couch, that being said I can somewhat understand your girlfriends feeling about a gun in the night stand drawer if she has never been around guns and her family never had guns. She could be afraid of the unknown to her. Sounds to me like she would benefit from some formal gun training class or something along those lines. On the other hand if she is very close minded about guns and simply refuses and suggestions of learning about them, then I believe you are in for a rough ride as far as owning any guns. The sleep on the couch part makes me think she already has established the pecking order in your relationship and she is the top pecker. No pun intended. If she didn't want to sleep in bed with you then she should have moved to the couch.
Are there children involved in the household ? That would dictate where and in what condition you have your guns in the house. My 1911 is loaded cocked and locked in my nightstand, but there is only myself and my wife in the house, our children are all grown and live on their own. Also it is not left in the nightstand when we are not home in case of a break-in, they won't find it.
I hope you reach some middle ground with your girlfriend since an 8 year relationship is a lot to walk away from if this is you only problem. My next question is how well has the relationship been going for 8 years and how is it that this issue only just came up after that much time together ?
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:47 AM   #35
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How about, as has already been suggested, keeping it in a locked box?
Not only for satisfying the girl friend, but for general safety reasons.
Not the least of which is avoiding having to face a burglar who might find it.
An old friend was killed by his own gun that way.
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Old October 21, 2012, 10:51 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by g.willikers
Not the least of which is avoiding having to face a burglar who might find it.
An old friend was killed by his own gun that way.
This is why you always keep a dog in the house, even a tiny dog.
No one's ever going to sneak up on you.
Sorry to hear about your friend.
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Old October 21, 2012, 11:04 AM   #37
buck460XVR
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Live-in girlfriend. Been together 8 years. I refuse to get married, for reasons that don't belong in this forum.

Sorry, but to me that says there are more issues in the relationship than just a gun in a drawer. But, your life, your choices. You do deserve to be honest with the woman that shares your residence and she should know if and where potential dangers are. A weapon with the mag half inserted may be safe to you, but to someone with no knowledge of firearms it can be just as dangerous as one loaded with the safety off. Sleeping on the couch is not going to resolve the issue. You need to talk and come to a sensible compromise that makes both of you happy. Relationship counseling gleaned from an internet forum is worth exactly what it costs.......
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Old October 21, 2012, 11:40 AM   #38
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This is not about guns. This is about control.
This seems to be the crux of it. Women do like to control their environment. The problem is that at some point she will have a close call, or get frightened about something, turn to you and hand control back to you with a protect me statement.

You're the man, are responsible for her protection, and when she drops control back into your lap...you can't let her down. Women are good at this. You're going to have to handle this touchy situation carefully. You have to be able to take the reins at a moments notice and it could well be at a moment that something dreadful is going on.

Until she hands you back control in a tight spot you have to deal with it and keep the peace so she can feel all fuzzy and in control, yet be ready to say ok honey, I got your back and be prepared to do so. Touchy based on what info you've given us. There's more to this situation than meets the keyboard so far. Your business though, good luck.
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Old October 21, 2012, 11:53 AM   #39
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Old October 21, 2012, 12:29 PM   #40
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Quote. AH.74 I didn't take it that way, I took it as his way of trying to give a dose of reality- not frighten someone. People who think they will never, ever be a victim of violence are not living in the real world. The chances may be slim, but they exist.

You seem to think that people that don't have your view are not aware of the dangers around them. Just because they deal with it differently and choose not to live their lives fearing that something might happen. Its there choice not have a firearm just like its your choice to have firearms. I know the dangers but chose not to carry a firearm to me the odds of needing it are so low that i am willing to take the chance. Human nature being what it is people start carrying at certain times before you know it you can't go to the toilet without being armed. I just have to read posts on this forum to see evidence of that. Then you will stop going places that you are not allowed to carry at that stage you are letting fear of attack starting to influence your life. I take my chances but won't be going down that road MY CHOICE.
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Old October 21, 2012, 12:44 PM   #41
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You seem to think that people that don't have your view are not aware of the dangers around them.
You could not be further from the truth.

Every day in our country there are news stories about murders, abductions, and home invasions. There have recently been two high-profile cases about girls disappearing and their remains being found. And the case I mentioned earlier.

This is a firearms forum. You choosing not to carry is certainly your right, but it is not the more common mindset here- you are not among the majority. And again, it's not about fear. It's about being prepared.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:11 PM   #42
manta49
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Quote. This is a firearms forum. You choosing not to carry is certainly your right, but it is not the more common mindset here- you are not among the majority. And again, it's not about fear. It's about being prepared.

If we worried about being prepared for everything that might happen we would never leave the house.
As for being a firearm forum i am on it because i have always had a interest in firearms. I have had firearms of some description all my life mostly for hunting and target shooting but don't feel the need to have one for self defence. And i am fully aware of the dangers here. Some that are different to America.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:15 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by manta49
Whats moral principles got to do with having a firearm.
Perhaps the highest moral principle is to protect human life. In the case of an assault, it is that principle that makes it 100 percent moral to use deadly force 9such as a gun) to defend your own life, or the life of a third party.

This principle transcends religion. It is clearly stated in the Roman Catholic Catechism. And it has been widely reported that the Dalai Lama was once asked what an enlightened person should do if accosted by an armed robber. Supposedly, the Dalai Lama's response was that the prudent thing to do would be to take out your own gun and shoot the robber.

So if my moral principles include recognizing that I have a fundamental human right to defend my life, and I choose to have a firearm available as an instrument for defending my life ... then if someone comes along and tells me I can't have a gun available it very much becomes a moral issue. That person is asking (demanding) that I compromise my moral principles. No one has a right to demand that I compromise my principles.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:15 PM   #44
AH.74
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manta-

Upon further thought, some more comments. Most people are not aware of the dangers around them. Plain and simple truth.

If I choose not to go somewhere I can't legally carry, maybe it's my choice not to go somewhere which doesn't respect my rights. That has nothing to do with fear of being attacked at that moment.

Following your logic:

I'm just going down to the store for a few minutes. What's the worst that could happen?

I'm just going out to mow the lawn. What's the worst that could happen?

We're just going to that political rally to see our representative. What's the worst that could happen?

We're just going to the movies. What's the worst that could happen?

It's the moments of normal life such as these when other things happen. Would you rather be prepared, or totally unprepared? You seem to have made your choice. I have also.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:17 PM   #45
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I would take more issue with having been made to sleep on the couch...

That said, attitude toward guns (and for that matter, the military) is part of my screening process.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:25 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by manta49
If we worried about being prepared for everything that might happen we would never leave the house.
Someone (and I very much think it was you) made this exact statement in another discussion on this forum several weeks ago. It was a ridiculous statement then, in the context of that discussion, and it's a ridiculous statement now, in the context of this discussion.

Do you carry a spare tire ("tyre") and lug wrench in your car? If so, why?

Do you have a box of bandaids in the medicine cabinet? If so, why?

Do keep a bottle of aspirin or Tylenol in the cupboard? If so, why?

TO BE PREPARED.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:25 PM   #47
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I can see mantas view easily. His is a prime example of demonstrated use of his brain as his primary weapon, rather than his load-out. Being able to detach from your gun and be able to be comfortable is a sign of high intelligence, and emotional stability. He's obviously in the minority here, lol.

I like carrying a gun, I'm just sayin'...
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:34 PM   #48
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Quote. Perhaps the highest moral principle is to protect human life. In the case of an assault, it is that principle that makes it 100 percent moral to use deadly force 9such as a gun) to defend your own life, or the life of a third party.

So follow that logic someone that chooses not to own or carry a firearm has lower moral principles than someone that does.

I don't need religions to tell how to lead a moral life. Most would need to get their own house in order before preaching to others. Looking after and protecting children would be a high moral principle in my book . One of the organisations you quoted fell down badly on that moral principle.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:37 PM   #49
AH.74
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So follow that logic someone that chooses not to own or carry a firearm has lower moral principles than someone that does.
If you are going to resort to these types of tactics, it's not worth trying to have a rational discussion with you.
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Old October 21, 2012, 01:44 PM   #50
manta49
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Quote. Someone (and I very much think it was you) made this exact statement in another discussion on this forum several weeks ago. It was a ridiculous statement then, in the context of that discussion, and it's a ridiculous statement now, in the context of this discussion.
Do you carry a spare tire ("tyre") and lug wrench in your car? If so, why?

Do you have a box of bandaids in the medicine cabinet? If so, why?

Do keep a bottle of aspirin or Tylenol in the cupboard? If so, why


Its simple people have differing views on firearms my wife doesn't like firearms i except that i am not going to try to frighten her to get her to come around to my view. As i said the ones that say dump her or get rid of her don't know the guys relationship or background is just stupid.
People make decisions on every day on what they need. Tyre possibly aspirin possibly needing a firearm very unlikely. Its all about choice some feel the need some doint both have every right to do either.


PS What was the forum and what makes you think it was me.

Last edited by manta49; October 21, 2012 at 01:53 PM.
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