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Old October 5, 2012, 06:52 AM   #76
p loader
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I've been married almost 15 years, I married my wife not my mother. We have separate jobs, separate accounts when it comes to finances only share some of the bills. We trust each other to be responsible with our personal finances and so far it has worked out. I never have to ask permission to buy anything and the same applies to her. Do we sometimes discuss things? Sure!

My wife found out about the car I bought recently when I drove it home, same for the most recent motorcycle. I buy guns or ammo when I want to, never have to ask permission. She trusts me not to put our family in a tough financial situation and I respect that.

Every relationship has different qualities and what people want varies too. Some guys brag about being henpecked, whatever works for them. I have one friend who starts just about every sentence with: "So I asked my wife for permission and..." He is the same guy who called his wife from work to ask her if he could go to Burger King for lunch. Hey man, whatever floats your boat.
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Old October 5, 2012, 11:46 AM   #77
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We do finances in common, so there the firearm-related finances are directly balanced against communal requirements.
example:
Do I really need to buy 400 rnds of .40 this month or should I just plink with the SR22 a bit more so that we can buy a new washer next week?

Hard to argue against clean undies....
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Old October 6, 2012, 05:28 AM   #78
Justice06RR
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OP you forgot to mention some of us single guys with no wives to worry about
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Old October 6, 2012, 05:57 AM   #79
Hal
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Interesting thread. Reminds me of when I was a Motorcycle Safety Foundation instructor, and found out how many men weren't "allowed" to have a motorcycle by their wives
That would be...me...
My wife says I can have a motorcycle if she can have a live in boyfriend...
I told her as long as the guy cuts the grass & takes out the garbage, I'm ok with that.. .

BTW - it took about a week for the black and blue mark on my arm to go away from her little "love tap" after I said that.
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Old October 6, 2012, 08:31 AM   #80
gaseousclay
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I've been married almost 15 years, I married my wife not my mother. We have separate jobs, separate accounts when it comes to finances only share some of the bills. We trust each other to be responsible with our personal finances and so far it has worked out. I never have to ask permission to buy anything and the same applies to her.
sounds like you have a roommate rather than a wife
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Old October 6, 2012, 08:37 AM   #81
kinggabby
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Wife agrees that if I can afford it I can get it . Me and my wallet don't agree .
Simply put if I don't have the money I don't get nothing.
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Old October 6, 2012, 02:05 PM   #82
p loader
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sounds like you have a roommate rather than a wife
How so? Every relationship has a different dynamic. Because we choose not to mix up finances how does this make her a roommate? We maybe have had 5 "fights" in the entire time we've been together. I've never slept on the couch and get "tang" quite frequently while most of my other married buddies complain about how their wives cut them off or ration it out.

We share decision making on quite a few things, some things we don't. We choose to live as two adults who are not subservient to each other. Call it roommates or whatever you want, but I'm happy and so is she.

My neighbor is in a more "traditional" relationship. He owns two minivans and has no hobbies other than what his wife allows him to do (which consists of gardening and cooking out on his patio). I swear every time I see him climb inside one of his minivans he looks like he dies a little inside.
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Old October 6, 2012, 02:42 PM   #83
Sparks1957
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sounds like you have a roommate rather than a wife
Yeah, I don't understand that viewpoint either. I guess some folks think married people are supposed to lose their individuality and become part of some shared persona.

It doesn't seem to work that way, from my experience.
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Old October 6, 2012, 05:59 PM   #84
gaseousclay
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How so? Every relationship has a different dynamic. Because we choose not to mix up finances how does this make her a roommate? We maybe have had 5 "fights" in the entire time we've been together. I've never slept on the couch and get "tang" quite frequently while most of my other married buddies complain about how their wives cut them off or ration it out.

We share decision making on quite a few things, some things we don't. We choose to live as two adults who are not subservient to each other. Call it roommates or whatever you want, but I'm happy and so is she.

My neighbor is in a more "traditional" relationship. He owns two minivans and has no hobbies other than what his wife allows him to do (which consists of gardening and cooking out on his patio). I swear every time I see him climb inside one of his minivans he looks like he dies a little inside.
sorry, I was being facetious. I guess I find it strange to have separate finances when you're married. to me marriage means there's no longer 'mine' or 'hers' but 'ours,' which means you share most things. but, different strokes for different folks

Last edited by gaseousclay; October 7, 2012 at 08:12 AM.
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Old October 6, 2012, 07:16 PM   #85
p loader
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No problem, I gotcha



Different strokes!
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Old October 6, 2012, 08:57 PM   #86
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StainlessSteel215, you seem to have your head on straight. Marriage is a partnership. It is not a "50-50 compromise"; that is too negative. It is a 50-50, 60-40 (or something like that) partnership that changes with time. It's a good thing and one gun a year is probably a good target but I would be careful about asserting this. Once you pay off the credit cards, life will change. Having the money in the bank for a credit card purchase is a good approach as you use the credit as a tool, one of many.

I do believe in what is good for the goose is good for the gander. It is seldom equal but it is a moving average.

When I got married, I bought no firearms for over 10 years. I had some and frankly I got out of the habit of shooting them anyway since we were living in a fairly urban area where shooting cost too. In time, I migrated back to the hobby. It was not a big deal. But central to my hobby is shooting 22's and the cost is not that much once you have the guns.

It is good to do things together. That is one of the reasons we got into outdoor photography. The hobby provided a central focus to our camping and outdoor outings. It made things really fun. But even that changed when photography shifted from 35mm film to digital and auto focus. Everything changes unless you remain focused on a hobby and participate in it on a regular basis.
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Old October 7, 2012, 11:33 PM   #87
Farm_Hand
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While Im not married, we cohabitate and have been together for years.

She is ok with anything, lets me buy, sell, shoot what ever tickles my fancy.

I am blessed with a good woman, that has a healthy relationship with guns and ammo !

Last edited by Farm_Hand; October 7, 2012 at 11:39 PM.
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Old October 8, 2012, 03:06 AM   #88
Aaron1100us
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My Wife is Amazing. She used to not like guns, now she has 3. Usually, I can only buy something when we get our tax return and as much ammo as I can afford each month which isn't a huge amount. And she just recently let me get a $1,000 loan to buy a used gun.

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Old October 8, 2012, 04:11 AM   #89
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I guess I'm lucky my girlfriend doesn't trip about it. But if its not one thing its another I can tell ya that much!!!
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Old October 9, 2012, 12:30 PM   #90
StainlessSteel215
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Aaron, I am nobody to judge but do you think taking out a loan for a gun is a wise move? How important was that purchase as a priority? I just think in my personal opinion thats a very bad practice to get into.
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Old October 9, 2012, 12:57 PM   #91
gaseousclay
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Aaron, I am nobody to judge but do you think taking out a loan for a gun is a wise move? How important was that purchase as a priority? I just think in my personal opinion thats a very bad practice to get into.
agreed. this is what I'm talking about when I say I don't spend money I don't have. taking out a loan to buy a gun just because you can doesn't mean you should. it's also a good way to dig yourself into a hole when you consider the interest on the loan
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Old October 9, 2012, 05:30 PM   #92
p loader
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Usually, I can only buy something when we get our tax return and as much ammo as I can afford each month which isn't a huge amount. And she just recently let me get a $1,000 loan to buy a used gun.
Tax return? When you are getting cash back I'll be writing a check!

An open ended loan (or credit cards which charge 2% of daily balances) might not be the best idea but there are ways to sort of accomplish the same thing. Consider a SAC (same as cash) program limited to 6 or 12 months, or a 90 day layaway plan.

Just some other alternatives. Good luck.
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Old October 9, 2012, 05:42 PM   #93
Gaerek
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I hate telling people what to do with their own money, but a loan for a gun is just a bad idea. A loan for a house? Of course, chances are the house will appreciate (well, prior to 2008, anyway) faster than the interest rate. A loan for a car? Yeah, this is ok. In most places, cars are almost a required thing, and most people don't have the minimum ~$15,000 cash on hand to purchase a car. But taking out $1000 for a gun? There's so many other options. Most gun stores I've seen will do layaway. If it's a common gun, why not just stash away $100 (or whatever you can afford) a week, until you can afford it? I've even seen a gun store that does financing, and a lot of times they'll do 6 months, same as cash (or 12 months, or 90 days, or whatever). Most gun stores will take trades. Do you have a gun or two you don't shoot much? See if you can trade something in, make your purchase more affordable.

I'm not getting on you. I spent the first 10 years of my adult life cleaning up my financial mess from doing things like that. Learn from my mistakes. My wife and I pay everything (besides the car) in cash. If we don't have the cash, we don't buy it. We don't make a whole lot of money, but it helps not paying 40-80% more (due to interest) on everything we buy. The exeption to the rule is using our airline mileage card. We use that to pay utilities, and buy certain other things that we pay off when the bill is due. Interest doesn't accrue, and we gain free air miles.

I don't know what interest rate or term you got for that $1000 gun loan, but it wouldn't surprise me if you ended up paying $1300-1500 or more for that gun. Ask yourself, if you could get a 0% interest loan to buy that gun, but it cost $1500, would it still be worth buying? Just something to think about.
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Old October 12, 2012, 07:56 AM   #94
mitchntx
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I can't see taking out a loan for a gun purchase.
I can, however, see using rent money for it.

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Old October 12, 2012, 08:46 AM   #95
Don P
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I can't see taking out a loan for a gun purchase.
I can, however, see using rent money for it.
Yep and you can use that gun to protect yourself while sleeping under the bridge cause you can't pay the rent.
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Old October 12, 2012, 09:16 AM   #96
mitchntx
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Yep and you can use that gun to protect yourself while sleeping under the bridge cause you can't pay the rent.
As long as its a nice bridge.
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