The Firing Line Forums

Go Back   The Firing Line Forums > The Conference Center > General Discussion Forum

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old September 1, 2012, 08:54 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: September 18, 2011
Posts: 4
How do I break it to the wife? Bought two guns instead of one. . . .

I've been a shadow for a long time now on the forums. Finally ponied up and joined because I have problem that I hope a few members may have some experience with.

I've been a quiet, closet-gun-enthusiast for some time now. Never owned a gun before (I'm 27) mostly because of interests in other things, and raising two kids (3yr.old son, and 1 yr.old daughter)

Well the itch finally became too much to ignore, and after what seemed like an endless amount of research, I finally decided to start off my own collection with a moderately priced Mosin Nagant 91/30. It had everything I was looking for: probably the most bang for the buck, semi-large caliber, dirt cheap, cheap ammo, bolt action rifle with irons that could possibly have some sort of optic attached later on.

My wife knew I've been thinking about getting some kind of firearm for about six months now. We've been married for over 7 years, and with the way things work in our marriage, any kind of large purchase (a rifle counts as a large purchase, not to mention she thinks she's gun-shy) usually has to be mulled over for a long period of time. We'll fight, argue, debate, agree, and disagree until either one of us gets our way. It's about 50/50 for both of us, on victories.

So, she finally gives her CONSENT and luckily I had already been eyeing a very nice 1932 hex'ed one for a great price. It was in EXCELLENT condition. I was really wanting this one, because I had already lost two others while both of us were in 'debate mode'. I set up the arrangements/details with the guy, who lives across country, and went to my local FFL to get the paperwork started.

This is where my trouble began....

As he was going over the details, this other little pearl of a gem, under the glass counter, glimmered ever so carefully in my peripheral vision. After further inspection, I confirmed that it WAS in fact a brand new Glock 17LE Gen 4 for about $423 dollars and came with 3 mags.

The bad thing is, this was going to be my NEXT purchase after I became intimate with the Mosin. And I KNEW that this G17, while not exactly an expensive gun, was DEFINITELY worth that $423 price tag (some background info: it was offered through the store's Blue-Label program; I'm in the military, and this exchange was an official Glock retailer or something like that).

To shorten what's already turned into a long story, I bought the pistol on the spot, without pause, and even now, without regret.

I now have it tucked away in my garage trying to figure out the next step. Money isn't a huge issue here. I'm attached to a unique unit where I go on a lot (alot!) of trips. As with most expensive things that I own, I finance them with trip money (per diem) instead of my take-home pay. I think the biggest problem would be her flipping out about a pistol in the house, with no prior discussion. Her also being gun-shy doesn't help when it comes to a pistol. I think she has it in her mind that my 3 yr. old can load an empty magazine with rounds, and make a condition 2/1/0(?) weapon even with the pistol stowed away properly.

What do you guys think?

p.s. Yeah I prolly goofed so I don't need any trolling there. I'm seeking advice purely for damage control purposes; Anecdotes would be amazing.

Last edited by BEASTmode; September 1, 2012 at 09:17 PM.
BEASTmode is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:01 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: September 5, 2010
Location: Cyber-Texas
Posts: 2,094
Thanks for your service.
You know your wife much better than 'we' do. I also used to use per diem to pay for a lot of toys when traveling overseas...Eat super cheap, pocket the difference.

Depending upon where your going (domestic or int'l?), you could easily set up a payment plan to cover your expenses in a couple of weeks.

If it were me, I'd let my wife know what I did and how I was going to pay for it by being uber super cheap on my next 10-20 days away.

Good luck!
أنا لست ارهابيا
TXAZ is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:03 PM   #3
Brian Pfleuger
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: June 25, 2008
Location: Central, Southern NY, USA
Posts: 19,039
There's not much of a choice...

Good marriages don't have secrets.
Still happily answering to the call-sign Peetza.
The problem, as you so eloquently put it, is choice.
-The Architect
He is no fool who gives what he can not keep to gain what he can not lose.
-Jim Eliott, paraphrasing Philip Henry.
Brian Pfleuger is online now  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:08 PM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: September 18, 2011
Posts: 4
Yeah I got it Brian. Not trying to be cheeky with you, but I know how a good marriage works, been doing it myself for awhile now.

I know I can't be the first guy to do this, and I think I'm just looking for some "you'll live" type of affirmations All of my friend's have wives who are her friends and all my friends tell their wives everything, so my friends are useless to me right now. (-.-)

Last edited by BEASTmode; September 1, 2012 at 09:16 PM.
BEASTmode is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:12 PM   #5
Senior Member
Join Date: February 21, 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 763
First thank you for your service.

Second - just be honest with her.

I'm lucky enough to have my own budget for firearms and ammo that is completely separate from the family budget (although sometimes I end up using my firearms budget to supplement the family budget when the wife wants to use money from the family budget for something like say a spur of the moment family camping trip - essentially my firearms budget is paying for that). That means that most of the time I am free to purchase firearms and ammo as I see fit that I can afford. Now I'm not a rich guy by any means and that means I'm NOT buying new guns every day, week, month or even every 6 months but when I do decide I can afford another gun (and NOT cut into ammunition for shooting) I can just go out and buy said gun without consulting the wife first.

I maintain this firearms and ammo budget by doing something else that I love as a side business. That pays for itself and makes enough of a profit that it can fund my shooting expenses.

In your case since you don't have that luxury you should just be up front and honest with the wife. I've found out, after a failed marriage and finally meeting my current wife who is my gift from God, that honesty and truthfulness is the ONLY way to go in a marriage. Granted sometimes you have to lie to your wife because you're trying to hide a present from her etc. Those lies though eventually come to light and since they were there to hide something she would ultimately enjoy they're not what I'd consider bad for the marriage. Basically don't start lying to her now. Trust me when I say I know from personal experience that something like that will just start you on a slippery slope.
This is who we are, what we do.
Hansam is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:43 PM   #6
Senior Member
Join Date: August 4, 2010
Location: Frozen Tundra
Posts: 869
I've been in a similar situation and the feedback I got from everyone here was to be open and honest with your wife and absolutely do not hide anything from her. I took this to heart and it's sound advice. I convinced my wife to let me get another gun, after many discussions (and debates), and came home with a Winchester 9422. The caveat for me, however, is that I keep it in a gun safe, which I managed to get for free from a relative.

with that said, I know you don't have any regrets making the purchase but you have to put yourself in your wife's shoes and see where she's coming from. You've got two little ones in the house, plus, your wife doesn't sound too thrilled about guns. Also, you didn't mention if you even have a secure place to put your guns. I dunno. If I were your wife and I found out you made a large purchase that happens to be a gun, i'd be pretty p*ssed off. you made an impulse purchase, which believe me, all of us can relate to, but you did it at the expense of the trust between you and your wife
gaseousclay is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:57 PM   #7
Join Date: September 30, 2007
Posts: 66
Duck and cover. Yes telling her is the best solution.
nstoolman1 is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 09:59 PM   #8
Senior Member
Join Date: December 4, 2009
Location: Frozen Tundra
Posts: 2,414
if it was on sale then you might be ok.. if not you will have to go with it was a good price....

Id recommend a sleeping bag in the garage, you have to have a backup plan..
Molon Labe
BGutzman is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 10:51 PM   #9
Senior Member
Join Date: July 20, 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 1,070
Yeah, try to be honest with the first few. It gets harder (or easier?) the more they tend to pile up. I think my wife thinks I'm still at 12. HAH!!!
jonnyc is offline  
Old September 1, 2012, 11:31 PM   #10
Senior Member
Join Date: February 16, 2012
Posts: 306
If you have a good woman (sounds like you do), tell her.......

......but, if you need us to back you up, after the fact, we can email her and tell her "That you would have been an idiot to have not taken that sweet deal"....."Every guy needs a full sized pistol."....."Dependability??? Those Glocks will still be shooting into the next Millenium.....", etc.
FlySubCompact is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 01:56 AM   #11
Join Date: April 25, 2011
Posts: 81
Tell her, remember the world doesn't end just because your wife gets mad. In fact sooner or later she may get mad any way, mine does. Just tonight she told me I should get rid of all my guns. This is the same woman who, when we are at some scarey place, asks me, " Have you got your gun?" BTW we have been married 44 years. I know her pretty well but no way do I understand her. Let me give you thanks from Vietnam for your service.
thibaultfelix40 is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 02:16 AM   #12
Senior Member
Join Date: May 25, 1999
Location: Too close to Houston
Posts: 4,192
You really can't tell her fast enough. Do you think it will be any better for her to find months from now that you've been hiding something?
Proud member of the NRA and Texas State Rifle Association. Registered and active voter.
Sport45 is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 06:40 AM   #13
Senior Member
Join Date: April 12, 2006
Location: NKY
Posts: 11,804
You are hot water. The longer you sit on the gun without telling her, the worse it will be. My suggestion is come clean right now.

I've never bought one and hid it, but I did buy one after I said I wouldn't ( yeah, I'm looking at you Ruger LCP) and I'm still getting flak over it.

You must confess!
"He who laughs last, laughs dead." Homer Simpson
Kreyzhorse is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 06:45 AM   #14
Senior Member
Join Date: September 6, 2007
Posts: 1,201
You simply tell her that you bought two guns instead of one
TheNatureBoy is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 06:58 AM   #15
Senior Member
Join Date: December 14, 2011
Location: WV
Posts: 857
You have to tell her. She will be mad, but every second longer you wait, the more mad she will be. I haven't been married that long, but everything we buy, we talk about. As long as the funds are there, we end up buying it. She actually talked me into buying my 10 gauge when we were engaged.
WV_gunner is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 07:59 AM   #16
Senior Member
Join Date: March 3, 2011
Location: Vernon AZ
Posts: 1,195
Sounds like you will need a get out of Jail present. Tell her take your medicne. Take her shooting get her involved.

Being married for 33 years I am still an amatuer, I have found that it is better to fess up take your medicine and apologize until she is mad at me for apologizing.
ltc444 is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:10 AM   #17
Senior Member
Join Date: December 13, 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,874
You are hot water. The longer you sit on the gun without telling her, the worse it will be. My suggestion is come clean right now.
NRA Life Member (2003)
USN Retired
I think that one of the notions common to the anti-gunner is the idea that being a victim is 'noble'; as if it is better to be noble in your suffering than disruptive in your own defense.
Skadoosh is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:11 AM   #18
Senior Member
Join Date: June 20, 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,155
Like jumping into a cold lake, brace yourself and do it. The longer you wait the worse it will be.
This is my gun. There are many like her, but this one is mine.

I'm not old. I'm CLASSIC!
KMAX is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:29 AM   #19
Senior Member
Join Date: February 21, 2010
Location: Rome, NY
Posts: 869
A three yr old may load a magazine. To ease your wife's fears, get a safe for the gun while you're debating, and then man up and confess what you've done. Bring the safe up after she expresses her fear of the gun and the childrens' curiosity.

It's not easy, but you gotta do it
Jim Page

Cogito, ergo armatum sum
JimPage is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:42 AM   #20
Senior Member
Join Date: February 21, 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 763
Oh and about your wife's fears...

Educate her about firearms and also educate your kids.

I've got kids in my house at ages 6mos, 3, 4, 8 and 14.

All of my kids (aside from the baby) know where my firearms are and I DO keep some firearms loaded and easily accessible. My kids also know what could happen if they're played with. As such they don't touch my guns.

My 4 yr old is being taught how to shoot and she enjoys blowing up plastic water bottles with the youth .22 rifle. My 8 yr old has been shooting rifles for 4 yrs and is now learning how to shoot a handgun well. My 14 yr old has already been shooting for 10 years, regularly pulls down low 20's in trap shoots and is frothing at the mouth for gun deer season (which is still over 2 months away).

I'm pretty confident that my kids won't be the ones that shoot themselves or their friends because they were playing with my guns.

My wife came from a very liberal anti-gun family. She still gets flak from her family because she CCWs. When we first got married she was so ignorant of firearms and so afraid of them she thought that an unloaded handgun sitting on the table while I cleaned it would somehow load itself, cock itself and turn to her and shoot her. No joke or exaggeration there - she told me she knew it was irrational but that's the kind of fear her parents had taught her of guns. Even just being NEAR a gun is dangerous and the gun (not the user) would shoot you and kill you. Now I find myself with the problem of my wife wanting her own 1911 for EDC (which she happens to want outfitted EXACTLY like mine) and at the moment I can't afford to do that so she keeps stealing my EDC to go to the range with...
This is who we are, what we do.
Hansam is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:42 AM   #21
Junior member
Join Date: November 12, 2000
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 9,494
[QUOTEbut I know how a good marriage works, been doing it myself for awhile now.][/QUOTE]

So why are you on here asking questions? LOL.

Seriously, be honest, but don't apologize too much because you have a certain amount of duty to be prepared to protect her. Be humble, but don't grovel to her, yet it's important that you have trust, that she knows above all that she can count on what comes out your mouth to be the truth, even if she does not like it.

Tell her that it was too good of a deal to pass up and that it would have cost you significantly more to wait. Some things are like that. Then tell her that it is her turn. Women can smell unfairness a mile away so you need to put her inline for as much as the gun cost you. Tell her that you want to be fair about it and then make it your mission to do it for her. Perhaps even for a little more than the pistol costs. Women feel good when they get the big end of the stick. Give her all the money from your next side job and so forth until she's caught up and equal with you.

and rub her feet. Women are on their feet all day long and love a good foot rub. This will melt away a lot of anger and you can take that to the bank.
Edward429451 is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:48 AM   #22
4 Paws
Senior Member
Join Date: August 17, 2012
Posts: 143
I've used a rather simple math equation for years that keeps the spouse happy. Whatever you pay for a firearm, simply divide it by two and tell the wife that was the purchase price
4 Paws is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 08:56 AM   #23
Senior Member
Join Date: February 21, 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 763
I've used a rather simple math equation for years that keeps the spouse happy. Whatever you pay for a firearm, simply divide it by two and tell the wife that was the purchase price
Easily done if she doesn't see the account that money came out of. For the OP's situation I doubt he has that kind of separation of finances.
This is who we are, what we do.
Hansam is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 09:05 AM   #24
Senior Member
Join Date: May 6, 2005
Location: North Chesterfield, Virginia
Posts: 4,128
Buy a Corvette. That will start a diverting argument, and she won't notice the gun.

Seriously, thank you for your service.

I can't give practical advice. My problem would be to stop my wife from claiming them as her own.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16 (NKJV)
CajunBass is offline  
Old September 2, 2012, 10:03 AM   #25
Junior member
Join Date: September 27, 2011
Posts: 382
here is your problem, you should NEVER need consent to buy a gun, as stated previously, "good marriages don't keep secrets"

So, she finally gives her CONSENT
be up front and tell her, also tell her that in the future you will buy any gun you want and say "honey.., bought a gun today, how do you like it ?"

my first marriage (14 years) was a constant fight and secret, my present marriage (33 years) my wife encourages me to buy what ever gun i may want, plus all the ammo and reloading components i may need.., she is a gem of the highest quality.
BPowderkeg is offline  

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:46 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
This site and contents, including all posts, Copyright © 1998-2016 S.W.A.T. Magazine
Copyright Complaints: Please direct DMCA Takedown Notices to the registered agent:
Contact Us
Page generated in 0.12143 seconds with 9 queries