No scratches allowed!!!!

**hogdogs** · July 31, 2011, 12:08 PM

THE DEAD PARROT

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Señor, that's the one."

"That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Señor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Señor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Señor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Señor Rod."

"WHAT FUNERAL???!!!""Your wife's, Señor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock.

SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.

"Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep do-do."

BigJimP · July 31, 2011, 03:55 PM

Makes perfectly good sense to me ....???

egor20 · July 31, 2011, 11:05 PM

LoL

You got me banned for 24 hours on a British forum that I'm a Moderator for that dead parrot joke.

Deja vu · August 1, 2011, 12:01 AM

Quote:

You got me banned for 24 hours on a British forum that I'm a Moderator for that dead parrot joke.

wow pretty strict there? I thought it was funny.

egor20 · August 1, 2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

wow pretty strict there? I thought it was funny.

I'm the only American allowed on the forum, Its a Brit B..itching site (sorry Mods

) I get banned every once in a while. Its kind of a badge of honor

I'm the American Redheaded step child

Edit:

Quote:

wow pretty strict there

I tend to use language on the site that would get me banned on TFL and have my Priest give me a bunch of "Hail Mary's and Our Fathers"

July 31, 2011, 12:08 PM	#1
hogdogs Staff Join Date: October 31, 2007 Location: Western Florida panhandle Posts: 10,691	No scratches allowed!!!! THE DEAD PARROT At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Señor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead". "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Señor, that's the one." "That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Señor Rod." "Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse." "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Señor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Señor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Señor." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Señor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Señor Rod." "WHAT FUNERAL???!!!""Your wife's, Señor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock. SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep do-do." __________________ Finally have designs going up in the Hogdogs Outdoor Apparel online store. http://www.cafepress.com/hogdogsoutdoorapparel Thanks for lookin'...

July 31, 2011, 11:05 PM	#3
egor20 Senior Member Join Date: November 14, 2010 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 1,743	hogdogs LoL You got me banned for 24 hours on a British forum that I'm a Moderator for that dead parrot joke. __________________ Chief stall mucker and grain chef Country don't mean dumb. Steven King. The Stand

July 31, 2011, 03:55 PM	#2
BigJimP Senior Member Join Date: February 23, 2005 Posts: 9,963	Makes perfectly good sense to me ....???