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Old May 7, 2009, 11:02 AM   #26
AirForceShooter
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Why do you ask?
Is there somebody around that needs shooting?

AFS
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Old May 7, 2009, 11:22 AM   #27
GeauxTide
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My colostomy bag. Can you help me change it?
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Old May 7, 2009, 12:28 PM   #28
rainmaker870
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I too used the "colostomy bag.. thanks for pointing out my handicap" on a guy who needed a good verbal slapping. My four general answers are situation specific:
"Yup"
"Maybe"
"Why do you ask?"
"No Sir/Ma'am."

I use them interchangably depending on who's asking, where I am and what my mood is. All of which basically means it's Nobody's Damn Business But Mine.

And once, when I was feeling charitable, I answered the question this way:
"You know, my granddaddy lived to be almost 90 years old. You know how? By minding his own {deleted} business."
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Old May 7, 2009, 12:30 PM   #29
Dragon55
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Always say yes.
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Old May 7, 2009, 12:53 PM   #30
Ticman
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Quote:
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.
I've used almost the same line. I tell them it's my insulin pump. Cut's them off real quick.
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Old May 7, 2009, 02:49 PM   #31
PhoenixConflagration
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"I'll tell you if you tell me what color underwear you're wearing."

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you."

"What, and ruin the surprise?"

Some of those in my life know the answer's always yes, the others have no clue and no reason to ask.
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Old May 7, 2009, 03:06 PM   #32
Stevie-Ray
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"Yup, a big hogleg."
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Old May 7, 2009, 06:47 PM   #33
Willie Lowman
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Quote:
My colostomy bag. Can you help me change it?
That's great! I have a friend who has a bag on his side, don't you ever ask him what that is under his shirt, he'll show you. Lot's of fun at the airport! :barf:


To answer the OP's question, *not quite grabbing crotch but putting hands in the area* "I'm just a humble man with a big, uh, gun. Well, I guess I'm not that humble." (I would never say that)

Or "No."

Or "Fifteen in the clip and one in the hole. Mess with me, I make yo' body turn cold." (I would never say that either)
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Old May 7, 2009, 06:55 PM   #34
Dingoboyx
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Yup,

A 44 mag, I'll blow your head clean off

Do you still want my wallet, watch & cell phone?

Mine's bigger than yours

So my girlfriend tells me
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Old May 7, 2009, 07:54 PM   #35
glock06
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You could say--

Got a problem?

You want to see the **** in my colostomy bag??
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Old May 7, 2009, 09:10 PM   #36
jpoolsmyd2
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Stranger asks: Stranger has never asked and if they did I would ignore them like I don't know what they are talking about.

Wife asks: Either: "Duh." or "nope. They sell beer here and I'm having four."
Friends ask (who also do): We just say to each other, "You?" and answer, "Yep. You?" It's a courtesy when we go to each other's houses. If we are going to drink beers watching the game they go in the person's house safe. Every time.
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Old May 7, 2009, 09:26 PM   #37
onthejon55
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Quote:
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.
That was the first excuse i thought of when i started carrying!
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Old May 8, 2009, 12:42 AM   #38
KLRANGL
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In the immortal words of Mark Wahlberg in The Departed:
"maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe go **** yourself."

Them: "Are you carrying?"
You: "Ah, I bet you're just dying to find out "
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Old May 8, 2009, 09:56 AM   #39
Kmar40
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Why would someone ask you that? I can't say that anyone has ever asked me.

I will say that I have an old friend who constantly gets comments, but he brings it on himself. He constantly seems to be "accidentally" flashing his gun. Of course, he also constantly tells everyone he was a former cop (with about 3 months service time).

If your gun is concealed, no one should be asking you.

Last edited by Kmar40; May 8, 2009 at 10:09 AM.
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Old May 8, 2009, 10:24 AM   #40
alistaire
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Look blank a dn say "Carry What?"
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Old May 8, 2009, 10:41 AM   #41
madmo44mag
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Simple smile is all they get.
Let their imagination do the rest.
It's none of their concern anyway.
If they push the issue I'll reply - do you want to see the badge also. If so I'll need to pull it out of my ass.
That stops all questions right there. LMAO!
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Old May 8, 2009, 12:11 PM   #42
Carne Frio
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" I'm just horny."
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Old May 8, 2009, 02:05 PM   #43
DWARREN123
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No one has ever asked me if I was carrying. I don't know why they would, either they know or don't see it until needed.
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Old May 8, 2009, 02:11 PM   #44
Creature
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"... It's my colostomy bag. Wanna see it?"
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Old May 8, 2009, 04:12 PM   #45
Joat
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Most of my coworkers know that I am an instructor for the TX CHL course and I am considered the "gun guy" here. I get asked fairly regularly if I'm carrying. (some of my co-workers obsess about "catching" me)

My standard answer is: "Company policy forbids the carrying of weapons." they get that and a smile.

Other answers include:
"Yes, a 12 gauge"
"A gentleman never asks"
"Carrying what?" accompanied by a blank look
"Only your sorry A*S, get back to work."

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Old May 9, 2009, 02:40 PM   #46
Dingoboyx
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Well

"Do you wanna try and take my wallet & find out? well, do ya, PUNK"

I reckon that would be cool
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Old May 9, 2009, 05:03 PM   #47
LaBulldog
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Carrying what?
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Old May 9, 2009, 06:20 PM   #48
doncameron
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I usually ask them a question in return, without really answering theres.
"Am i wearing pants?"
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Old May 9, 2009, 06:37 PM   #49
bufordtjustice
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Say: "Yeah, I got two guns." Then flex your biceps.
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Old May 9, 2009, 08:10 PM   #50
dadofsix
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"Are you carrying?"

first answer: Why, are you?

second answer: Why are you asking me that?

third answer: I don't answer questions like that.

there is no fourth answer because I am making plans to leave if the third answer ever is used

<><Peace
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Last edited by dadofsix; May 10, 2009 at 04:29 PM.
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