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Old June 15, 2007, 08:16 PM   #26
defence18
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On my first hunt, my father and I sat together in a large blind waiting for the sun to come up. As day is just breaking, I notice my father looking out to the right, so I crouch forward and see what he's looking out. My eyes got real wide as I whispered, "Dad, it's deer!" I peer harder when I realize that it appears a lot larger than a deer. "No wait! Dad, It's a HORSE!" My father turns and looks at me. "Dan, it's a stump!" Oops.
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Old June 15, 2007, 08:53 PM   #27
FirstFreedom
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Quote:
hmm... picking off buzzards... You know... I don't think I'll bury any more coyotes
Now you're gettin er done!
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Old June 15, 2007, 09:03 PM   #28
Gbro
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Before daylight on opening morning of firearms deer season, Get to stand, and there is someone sitting in it.
Ask him if we can have our stand and they reply, "How do i know its yours"?

Funn//// sad thing about it is the squatter is in the legal right, A moron but...

Never liked the line; "If it's Brown it's Down".
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Old June 15, 2007, 09:53 PM   #29
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I always thought it was "Hay y'all watch this"
Actually it was my cousin bragging about killing a deer with a .22lr
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Old June 15, 2007, 10:52 PM   #30
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Dumbest thing I've ever seen? An acquaintance of mine (hardly a friend) who insisted on yacking on his cell phone while out in the field and wondered why he never saw a deer. Pure genius.
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Old June 15, 2007, 11:18 PM   #31
rantingredneck
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Quote:
I always thought it was "Hay y'all watch this"
A good rule of thumb is to take cover if you hear someone say that with a gun in their hand. Bad things are about to happen.
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Old June 16, 2007, 02:08 PM   #32
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This isn't a stupid quote, but I absolutley HATE IT when I meet or talk to someone who has to 1 up you on everything...His deer was heavier, he shoots a bigger gun...I've killed more...etc. killed more than 10,000 wild hogs...I HATE THESE PEOPLE, AND CAN'T stand to be around them...:barf: It's against my nature, but I heard one of those idiots talking last year at academy sporting goods, yaping about shooting some deer at 750yds...said he "sights his gun in at 350..." I asked him where he aimed, and he said, just right above the shoulder...I politely told him, "do you actually believe that someone really believes this story? By the way...The waders are located in the shoe department next to the boots..." yes, that is a quote. I really wanted to tell him he was full of $H!+, but diplomacy is just the art of telling someone to go to hell and have them look forward to the trip...
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Old June 16, 2007, 03:19 PM   #33
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Ya all talking about Buzzards, FYI the buzzards in North America lack the ability to pierce skin which is why you see a huge bloated hit by car white tail just up the road from one that is being picked clean,

Therefore it would be hard for them to turn into preditors, their population is limited by available carion (in the absence of DDT), this is why there are so many in places where more white tails are taken with bumpers and left by the roadside.

If you want to help them out open up the belly of the deer or other dead things so they can do their job.

Aparanelty in Africa there are 3 species of vulture one of whom can pierce skin and there is an intresting social interaction between the 3 of them, can't recall their names...

What I learned over lunch with an Ornithology Phd canidate from Cornell.
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Old June 16, 2007, 10:57 PM   #34
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And so far the winner of the rusty lunchpail trophy is...

Ta-Daa...
Quote:
[Over two-way radio to hunt partner]
"Careful. You have a skunk approaching at ..."

*BLAM!*

[Over two-way radio] "Stay there. I'll get the tomato juice."
XLNT humor! No explanation given or needed--just Plop! there it is. I was ROTFLMAO over that!

BTW, one quart of homemade tomato juice will pretty well de-skunk a good-sized Labrador retriever. You can probably guess how I know. Smart dog, though--Only once.
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Last edited by Smokey Joe; June 16, 2007 at 10:59 PM. Reason: The usual--had another thought.
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Old June 17, 2007, 12:30 AM   #35
jrothWA
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The profanity yelled during a deer drive .

in southern Ohio in 1978. Thankfully, I wasn't a participant.
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Old June 17, 2007, 02:05 PM   #36
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Johnsons baby shampoo works well for removing snunk from a black lab too Smokey. It's only happened once with my dog, but I'm sure it'll happen again. She's very curious.
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Old June 17, 2007, 08:08 PM   #37
FirstFreedom
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castnblast, yup, I was on a hunting lease in SW Okla for 1 year, about 2 years back. Ol' boy who got me onto it (mowed my lawn) explained to me that he didn't like shooting deer less than 500 yards away, because it's not challenging enough for him and his "7 mag". It would seem he got one deer at around 700 yards (or was it 750?). That 7 mag is a magic laser weapon. I read here online (TFL I think) that one of the members knew someone who said that he had this big buck walk under his stand one day, but he couldn't get a shot at it, being directly underneath. So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head.
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Old June 17, 2007, 10:03 PM   #38
tronman
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Quote:
So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head

Now thats just not sportsmanlike, everyone knows you drop out of the stand with your knife in your teeth to bag a deer directly underneath. Jeez...
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Old June 18, 2007, 06:16 AM   #39
Gbro
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[QUOTE][/QThis isn't a stupid quote, but I absolutley HATE IT when I meet or talk to someone who has to 1 up you on everything...His deer was heavier, he shoots a bigger gun...I've killed more...etc. killed more than 10,000 wild hogs...I HATE THESE PEOPLE, AND CAN'T stand to be around them...UOTE]

Them's the boys that get the "Blanket party"
Work with one that would have gotten a Party within a few days in the service.
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Old June 18, 2007, 02:43 PM   #40
Scorch
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Quote:
So the next day he hauled a 30 lb. rock up into the stand, and killed the buck when it came back by, dropping the rock on its head

Now thats just not sportsmanlike, everyone knows you drop out of the stand with your knife in your teeth to bag a deer directly underneath. Jeez...
Well, what he probably meant is that he dropped the rock on it, and WHILE IT STOOD THERE STUNNED BY THE FACT THE SKY WAS FALLING, he jumped on its back and cut its throat with one swipe! Or something like that.

I love guys who can't shoot telling me why they carry 2 boxes of ammo: in case they get a shot at a deer, they just shoot until they run out of ammo. My favorite is still "I shot that antelope offhand at 1200 yds with my 30-40 Krag with iron sights", at which point I try hard to look surprised and say "Reeeeally?"
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Old June 18, 2007, 06:55 PM   #41
FirstFreedom
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Them's the boys that get the "Blanket party"
Work with one that would have gotten a Party within a few days in the service
Do you mean, like private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket?
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Old June 18, 2007, 08:21 PM   #42
sparkysteve
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I was in line behind 2 guys buying deer hunting licenses with bloody hands one evening last fall. The guy at the register even said after swiping their driver's licenses that it showed they hadn't bought any hunting tags yet this year. I guess you only need to buy those $14 tags if you actually shoot a deer.
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Old June 18, 2007, 08:30 PM   #43
fisherman66
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After corning a sendero my brother-in-law takes a whiz off to the side of the corn pile.
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Old June 22, 2007, 11:04 PM   #44
Gbro
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[PHP]Do you mean, like private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket?[/PHP]

That is exactly what I mean. That scean in FMJ was as real as it gets. Boy in my basic training platoon got one, and its quite the eye opener. Me being the dumb @$$ country boy hadn't even heard about such things.

[PHP]brother-in-law takes a whiz [/PHP]

I thought only a moron would do that untill i came across the tree stand of a guy that got his and mine and your share of big bucks, the ground under the stand was more yellow than white. He did spend some/mega time in the stand.
He just didn't care what it looked like.
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Old July 6, 2007, 10:00 PM   #45
samsmix
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The DUMBEST THING I have EVER heard:


Dumb@$$: It's okay, it's on "safe".

Me: It's getting late, we should head in.

Dumb@$$: It's only 1:00pm !?

Me: Too late for me.
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Old July 10, 2007, 06:07 PM   #46
FirstFreedom
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I don't get it, samsmix - who uttered the dumbest thing you ever heard - him or you for saying that you're hanging it up at 1 o'clock?

Or if it was the "it's ok, it's on safe" comment, then you have to give us the context - what exactly was he doing at the time - pointing a rifle at your head or what?
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Old July 11, 2007, 12:34 PM   #47
Great Wazoo
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Dumb Stuff

When I was a kid my Dad and I were hunting in an area that allowed using hounds. We had stopped on the road in the afternoon to talk to a couple of guys that were easing down the road in their truck. They had let one of their hounds out in the adjoining field to cast for scent. The hound was tan, it took a little bound over some Palmetto's and all hell broke loose from the far tree line. Blam, Blam, Blam; immediately followed by cussing and screaming from the hound guys to knock it off. Fortunately the intrepid hunter was a bad shot, they missed the dog and us as well.
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Old July 11, 2007, 12:43 PM   #48
Great Wazoo
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Another time;

One morning I was still hunting down a trail that was not to far from the WMA's boundary. I heard a guy coming up the trail from the direction of the road; so I sat down on a stump since I knew I wasn't going to see anything. Presently this guy walks up smoking a cigarette, carrying a shotgun in one hand and a beer in the other. He was making more noise than a herd of elephants.

I went home, and did not hunt that area for several years.
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Old July 11, 2007, 05:46 PM   #49
Zombie Steve
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The funniest thing I ever heard while pheasant hunting:
Bird flushes on the far left side of the line, a guy I know pops 4 times (yes, I was a guest on a preserve - no plugs needed) misses all 4 and says "man, that's a pretty bird". The guy next to me just said "yep, pretty alive".
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Old July 13, 2007, 03:12 AM   #50
Desertfox
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Met two friends on a lease in North West Texas for dove hunting one evening.
It was the first day we were there. Guy number two says they just got back from the city. He says he had to go buy a new shotgun. He jammed his gun earlier and it was a piece of crap.
They went to a pawn shop and purchased another shotgun.
My hunting partner said let me check it out. He takes the 20ga. pump and in 15 seconds with his bare hands, disassembles the shotgun and removes the shell and puts it together again.
The guy says "I already did that twice, it kept jamming. Must be defective."
He had put 12ga. shells into his old twenty gauge pump and tried to rack one in. My buddy bought the old shotgun for 25 bucks.
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