The Firing Line Forums

Go Back   The Firing Line Forums > The Hide > The Hunt

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old February 5, 2007, 09:21 PM   #1
Pointer
Senior Member
 
Join Date: April 8, 2005
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,559
For crying out loud...

Just to make you smile...

Quote:
AN ATHEIST HUNTER IN THE WOODS

An atheist was hunting bear.

"What majestic trees"!

"What powerful rivers"!

"What beautiful animals"!

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 8-foot grizzly charging towards him. He dropped his rifle, and in full panic mode, he ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He quickly rolled over to pick himself up, but saw that the bear was right on top of him, raising his right paw to strike him dead.

At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"


Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident."

"And now you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light,

"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear brought his paws together, bowed his head & prayed:


"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive...
__________________
.
"Political correctness is tyranny with a happy face." Charlton Heston

30-06 FOREVER
Pointer is offline  
Old February 5, 2007, 09:51 PM   #2
IM_Lugger
Senior Member
 
Join Date: June 27, 2004
Posts: 2,011
hahah I love it
__________________
"I feel the Beretta is a great character, it's so strong and elegant. The other guns look dumb to me." - John Woo
IM_Lugger is offline  
Old February 5, 2007, 09:54 PM   #3
el Divino
Senior Member
 
Join Date: December 25, 2006
Location: Deep South Texas
Posts: 228
LOL LOL, nice one
__________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. (Orwell)
el Divino is offline  
Old February 5, 2007, 11:31 PM   #4
dixierifleman
Junior member
 
Join Date: November 30, 2006
Posts: 355
best one ive heard in a while
dixierifleman is offline  
Old February 5, 2007, 11:41 PM   #5
kickshot85
Senior Member
 
Join Date: February 4, 2007
Posts: 127
HA HA HA. . . that's great
kickshot85 is offline  
Old February 5, 2007, 11:45 PM   #6
Brad Clodfelter
Registration in progress
 
Join Date: January 26, 2007
Posts: 925
Hee hee!
Brad Clodfelter is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 12:10 AM   #7
AZGunLover
Senior Member
 
Join Date: August 17, 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 281
Haha!! I love it!
AZGunLover is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 12:21 AM   #8
hoytinak
Senior Member
 
Join Date: July 5, 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,709
thanks, i needed a good laugh this morning
hoytinak is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 11:10 AM   #9
UniversalFrost
Senior Member
 
Join Date: February 20, 2006
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 2,298
good laugh.

Don't think this one will last very long beofre they close it.

Should carried his ruger alaskan or at least some bear spray.
__________________
Lifetime member VFW and NRA

"Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati" (when all else fails play dead) -Red Green

UniversalFrost is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 11:28 AM   #10
Art Eatman
Staff Lead
 
Join Date: November 13, 1998
Location: Terlingua, TX, USA
Posts: 22,359
I don't thing the comments are needed, but the occasional bump, for a while, seems okay...

(Save the bandwidth.)

Art
__________________
You're from BATFE? Come right in! I use all your fine products!
Art Eatman is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 11:59 AM   #11
Gbro
Senior Member
 
Join Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,056
Thank God for bears!

(not being a bear hunter i always tell others "Thank God For Bear Hunters")
Gbro is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 01:40 PM   #12
Pointer
Senior Member
 
Join Date: April 8, 2005
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,559
Quote:
Should carried his ruger alaskan or at least some bear spray.
LOL
Quote:
Thank God for bears!
Thanks guys... Keep on smiling
__________________
.
"Political correctness is tyranny with a happy face." Charlton Heston

30-06 FOREVER
Pointer is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 02:20 PM   #13
oldbillthundercheif
Junior member
 
Join Date: April 21, 2006
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 2,450
Stupid. They say there are no athiests in foxholes, but there has been at least one who found himself piloting a disintegrating aircraft without crying out for divine intervention...

Me.
oldbillthundercheif is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 03:01 PM   #14
BillCA
Senior Member
 
Join Date: November 28, 2004
Location: Silicon Valley, Ca
Posts: 7,087
oldbill,

That's cuz you were too busy in the cockpit.

Loved the joke guys. Good laugh.
__________________
BillCA in CA (Unfortunately)
BillCA is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 03:44 PM   #15
Jseime
Senior Member
 
Join Date: December 31, 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,775
Nice one. Personally I might not have dropped the gun. Maybe a Marlin lever action in .450 marlin would have been handy.
__________________
I love the smell of fresh shotgun in the morning.
Jseime is offline  
Old February 6, 2007, 04:58 PM   #16
RangerVA
Member
 
Join Date: December 12, 2006
Location: VA
Posts: 58
Oh My Science!
__________________
NRA Member
RangerVA is offline  
Old February 8, 2007, 05:42 PM   #17
FirstFreedom
Junior member
 
Join Date: May 31, 2004
Location: The Toll Road State, U.S.A.
Posts: 12,451
My favorite hunting joke is....

Two ol' redneck boys were out hunting when a rattlesnake jumps up and bites one of the guys on his you-know-what. Screams out for his buddy to call the hospital on his cell phone. Buddy calls hospital & talks with a nurse. Nurse tells him that, to save his friend's life, he's gonna have to make small incisions at the bite holes and suck out the poison before bringing him in to the city for treatment. "OK, I understand", he says, and hangs up. Guy who got bit screams "What did they say, man?!?"

"They said you're gonna die."
FirstFreedom is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
This site and contents, including all posts, Copyright © 1998-2014 S.W.A.T. Magazine
Copyright Complaints: Please direct DMCA Takedown Notices to the registered agent: thefiringline.com
Contact Us
Page generated in 0.10040 seconds with 7 queries