last thing you want to say to an officer....

[Jbb6811]

a friend of mine said a young kid(19) in his gunsmithing class was pulled over in a case of speeding(on the way to school). the officer came up and and asked for his info so he informed the officer he had some guns in the back seat. the officer ask what he was doing with them and he said......taking them to SCHOOL....oooooops

he was held for a hour til they got everthing straight

anyone esle have a BRAIN-FART when talking to a cop?

i gave one my bank card instead of my lics......lol

[haley]

I got pulled over one fine morning on the way to work for running a bit over the speed limit. I had stopped off at a local store and bought a box of donuts and I was eating one when the officer came up to the window. I was raised polite by my momma so I offered the officer a donut. It never dawned on me until he got a major attitude with me that he was a tad over weight and had probably had to many donuts in the past. I got a ticket for 5 over LOL.

[HoraceHogsnort]

At least he didn't say, "It ain't none of yer business, flatfoot"!!

[longhair75]

A friend of mine was pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. When the officer asked for her license and proof of insurance, she asked him to hold her beer while she looked for the insurance card.

[abelacres]

"Thanks for the raffle ticket Barney, when's the drawing?"

[Bruno2]

They really love it when you tell them that you pay their salary. They usually give you a ticket to show you they are doing their jobs.

[mete]

A friend worked at a zoo.They were having problems with racoons going after ducks so he would go hunting at the zoo at night .One night a patrol car went through and stopped when they saw him.As it turned out they were about the only ones on the force he didn't know. When asked 'what are you doing ?' he answered 'hunting 'coons ' !!! Got their attention !

[SPEMack618]

Back in high school, late one friday night, a bunch of us were riding around in my Dad's truck, which was a single cab, so we were squeezed in there pretty good and I got pulled over for making a California stop at a stop sign.

For some reason long since forgotten, I had a pump action cap gun in the cab, which in the dark, with the orange tip pointed down, looked alot, I mean alot, like a Remington 870, or High Standard K1200, or Mossberg 500 with wooden furniture just sort of lying there.

Well the Deputy sees it and asks about it, I pause to chuckle a minute, and the next thing I know my buddy Dave has whipped it up and the Deputy is stepping back un-snapping the retention strap on his holster and all I remember thinking was that atleast our Deputies carries Glock 23s so he might run out of ammo faster and would here me yelling it was a toy.

Whew. That was a scary run in.

[Uncle Buck]

I had a pistol and a lock pick set on my front seat when I got pulled over for speeding. The officer walked up to the window and shined his flashlight into my truck (I had also turned on the overhead light).

I told him about the gun and he asked if it was loaded, I said no. He asked what was in the red case and I told him it was a lock pick set. "What do you have a lock pick set for?" "For breaking into cars. What else would I have it for?"

As soon as it was out of my mouth I was thinking "That did not sound right."

I stepped out of my truck, at his request, and went and sat back on to tailgate while he ran my info. When he got back I explained I owned an automobile repair shop and had been called out to open a car door. We chatted a little bit and I gave him my card. When he asked to search my truck I told him only if he gave me a cup of coffee first.

We went to a local "Stop and Rob" and got coffee and sat in the parking lot for almost two hours shooting the bull and swapping stories. He never did search the car and I ended up getting quite a few calls from him.

This is the advantage of small town departments and rural settings.

[Mr. James]

Yow, SPEMack618. That one could've gone south in a hurry!

Okay, this one involved some non-verbal communication. Once, returning home from a rugby game in British Columbia, we stopped in Blaine, Washington to get some food. I was driving a Chevy Monte Carlo. As my buds piled out and headed for the general store, I took advantage to slip away to the edge of the parking lot for a desperately-needed pee break.

Mid-break, I hear the Chevy's horn blaring behind me. ASSuming it was my rugby buddies being obnoxious, I raised my middle finger without bothering to turn around. The Chevy horn blasts continued, more insistently. I zipped up and turned around to yell at them only to see . . . not the Chevy Monte Carlo, but a Chevy Caprice Classic. With the full roof rack. Driven by a police officer.

He cuffed and stuffed me, and proceeded to give me a tour of the town, being sure to corner hard and brake sharply at every opportunity. I floundered around helplessly on the hard plastic after-market rear seat (slicker 'n' snot), slamming against both rear doors and the security cage.

When he finally bored of using me as a pinball, he pulled into the cop shop, wrote me up for "lewd conduct - public urination" and kicked me loose. Actually smirked and said, "have a nice day." My friends shortly thereafter found the station and gathered my sorry butt up.

I haven't stopped in Blaine, Washington in, lo, these 25 years!

[Pahoo]

I got pulled over and I turned to my wife and said; "If he gives me a ticket for speeding, ..... We are going to court"
I then turned to face the cop and I think he heard the last part of my comment. He did the usual go back to the squad car thing with my license and came back, gave me back my stuff and told me to slow down and he was letting me off with a warning. I thanked him and we went on our way. Now, it's true that I was not speeding at least not that time. .....



Be Safe !!!

[brickeyee]

When pulled over in College Station, Texas do not start off the answer to "Do you know how fast you were going?" with "We are on our way to lunch and I'm from New York."

Earned the dingaling a nice fat ticket (multiple hundreds of dollars).

[NJgunowner]

Officer : Do you know how fast you were going?
me: Not fast enough.

He thought that was pretty funny.

[Mr. James]

If this isn't true, it oughta be!

State trooper pulls over a speeder, but it's the very end of his shift and he doesn't really want to deal with a citation. So, being in a somewhat puckish mood, the trooper says to the driver, "Tell you what: if you can give me a good explanation for why you were driving so fast, I'll let you off with a warning."

The driver pauses a moment. "My wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a nice day, sir."

Hey, I'm here all week!!

[KyJim]

I was raised polite by my momma so I offered the officer a donut.

Just be grateful that all you got was a ticket. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JutCjbmcq7s

[Rob228]

I got off pretty easy driving through Texas with NY plates.

It was one of my many cross country road trips from Pendleton to NY and/or back. I was driving my Nissan Frontier and everything I owned to my dads place in NY for storage since I was headed to Okinawa for a few years. I found out two things on that trip, both almost at the same time. The first thing I found was that my Frontier tops out at 95 MPH. I found this out driving through Texas at about 5am, and a State Trooper on the other side of the highway found out my Frontier will do 95 at about the same time. He pulled me out of the truck, saw my base sticker and asked what I was up to with all of the stuff in the back of my truck. When I told him I was driving from Pendleton to NY because I'd just been sentanced to Okinawa, he told me to slow down, and told me what mile markers the next few troopers hung out around.

[therealdeal]

by the end of highschool the early days/yrs of "Ajax, always comes clean" were over and we pretty much were always on the losing end of the cat&mouse chase going on with the town cops. we were getting a ride home from a really nice guy one night when the 'profiling' started again. it was a no big deal situation, so we told him just to chill(he rolled thru a stopsign).



end of warning citation // cop: "You're good to go, young man. stay safe. you're ok to drive, right? You haven't had anything to drink?"

driver: "I only had a sixpack, Sir."

definately not the time to be completely honest

[Average Joe]

Officer, I wasn't speeding, I was qualifying..

[LovinItAll]

Since I'm new and saw this thread, I'll throw one in.

It was about 1 A.M. and my girlfriend and I were driving into Dallas from Tennessee. I was in a little Mitsubishi 3000, and when we hit the Dallas loop, I got on it. About 30 seconds later, I see the blue lights. It was a Ranger.

I pull over, shut it down, and he walks up.

"Know how fast you were going?"

"Uhm.....not really. Pretty fast, I reckon."

"I got you at 119. What's the hurry?"

"The Cowboys are playing the Giants tomorrow and I've never seen a live game even though I was born in Dallas. My girlfriend was ragging me about how the Giants are going to kick our ass tomorrow, and I guess I just lost track of my speed."

He shines his light at my girlfriend and eyes her Giants baseball cap.

"Ma'am, lucky you weren't driving or you'd be going to jail. Slow it down and have fun at the game."

Thank you, officer......

[Avenger]

I got pulled over once after a kid walked out in front of me, forcing me to cut off the police car beside me. They threw the lights on, and the officer walked up to me. She had been the community liaison officer for my Block Watch, and recognized me. She chatted with me for a minute while her partner went to talk with the kid, luckily they had seen what happened, but wanted to impress on the little idiot just how close he came to being "that many years old", but never again "this many..." He gave her a thumbs up, so she was about to turn me loose, but asked to check my registration and insurance card. I reached over and dropped the glove compartment door...

Ever hear of "Coal Candy"? It's basically rock sugar candy with cherry flavor, colored black to look like little coal nuggets. My cousin had given me a BUNCH for Christmas, and I'd kept some in a baggie for road munchies. When I opened the door, it fell out, and she asked what it was. I handed it to her,and told her it was candy. She put the baggie up to her nose to smell it...that's when her partner looked in through the passenger and asked, "Whatcha got there?" For some reason, my mouth produced the words, "Black Tar Heroin, want a hit?"

She laughed for a solid five minutes while I banged my head against the steering wheel. I'm sending her, AND her partner, a pound of "coal candy" apiece for this years Christmas.

[Jo6pak]

Witnessed this exchange from the passenger seat of my buddy Steve's car many moons ago.

Officer- "Do you know how fast you were going/"

Steve- "If I guess right, do I still get a ticket?"

He guessed wrong, and got a warning.


A few years ago I was driving the 30 miles home from a freinds house during a snow storm. It was near 2 a.m. and a county cop pulled up behind my, and followed my for about 10 miles, I figured he was trolling for DUIs. I had the Jeep in 4wd, and was drinving between 40-45 mph. Sure enough the cherries lit up, and I pulled over. A young cop approached, did the usual license, registration routine, asked where I was going, where I was coming from and returned to his car with my license. I waited for more than 10 minutes for him to return, as snow piled up on my hood, and the wind whipped across the open fields.
Finally, he returned and again asked me where I was coming from, where I was going, and followed it up with the flashlight/eye test. Admittedly I was a bit tired and but I was getting fairly annoyed.
Then he says "I pulled you over, because you crossed the cneterline back there. (Mind you there is about 6" of snow on the road, and no tracks from other vehicles.)
I looked at him and laughed, "Can you SEE the centerline?" I responded.

He looked at the road realized his stupid comment, handed me my license, and let me go.

Sure seemd like he was fishing for a DUI, and since I was stone sober, he had nothing.

[zxcvbob]

This guy was doing so well, then blew it right at the end:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDzcYerwE4s

(you've seen it before, but it's worth watching again )

[Deerhunter]

Not so much what I said but the cop. My fiance and I went down to Richmond last year for the Nascar race. It was her first one. So we get down there Friday night and decided to check out the Gander Mountain and Bass Pro Shops near the hotel. I have been fishing and hunting all my life, she is a city kid. So talking her into going was a good start. So we have the GPS on and it gives us bad directions. I wait for a car to pass and make a U-turn around a median (legal, no signs nothing). State trooper pulls me over. Tells me that what I just did was recless driving. Takes my info and goes back to his car. Comes back and tells me it is just an illegal U-turn. Gives me the ticket. Now I am sure based on the hunting stickers and the fact that I was wearing a camo hat he knew I was a hunter. So he asked where I was headed I told him Gander Mountain. He then says.....well if you would have kept going Bass Pro is down the end of the road. Oh yeah and on the back (direction I was coming from) there is Billy Joe Bob's gun shop and that is the best place around. You should stop in there and check it out.

My thoughts are gee thanks I could have spent some money until you hit me with the BS ticket.

[Tom Servo]

In my college years, I was driving a long stretch through north Florida. I chose to drive late, partly because I'm a night person and partly because there's no traffic.

I'd had some road food that wasn't agreeing with me, and I pulled over on the side of Highway 19. ~1:30 AM on a Friday night in rural Florida, and there I am, barfing out the door of my car on the side of the road.

...and of course, that's when the deputies pull up. There's really nothing to say at that point. Really.

Anyhow, after we established that I'd not been drinking, we had a good laugh about it.

[EdInk]

Sooouuuiiieeee!