That boy won't hunt

[Scout]

I was really excited this year, because my oldest boy is 12 and I wanted to take him to the woods. I took him through the safety course last month and bought a ladder stand. I ordered a Stevens 200 in .243. I was getting ready to outfit him the rest of the way this weekend. Well, long story short, he broke it to me that he really doesn't want to hunt. So, I guess I've got a new .243(which I have secretly wanted for a while anyway) and ladder stand. I'm not gonna push him to go. I had him scouting and setting out the stand recently. I really think that he was put off by the hot, sweaty work it was to be trudging through these Florida swamps in 92 degree temps. So, I think I'll let him think on it...tell some fun stories about this years hunts, and hope he'll come around.

[HiBC]

More important than this year's hunt,he could tell you his choice.
Its good he should be who he is.
Good job.

[simonkenton]

I wish I had had you for a father!
Only difference, I would have nagged you to take me hunting when I was 8 years old.

You will just have to give him time, some kids are into and some never will be.

[Waterengineer]

Good he could tell tell you his thoughts.

Too bad he doesn't want to play in the woods.

I blame video games.

[hogdogs]

As for me, I wasn't taught "the hunt" first... It was a lifetime (albeit just a few years long) of having self sufficient life pounded into my head. Then when preparing for my first squirrel and deer hunts, I don't so much remember a sporting attitude. I remember the coaching in regards to gathering my own meat. How to treat my future protein source with the dignity and respect that a life source deserves. And them home made pancakes with the blueberries I picked in the predawn darkness musta been a part of the lesson too.
Brent

[JagFarlane]

Everyone comes around in their own time. Ex-gf's father hunted every year while his kids were growing up, but it wasn't until all three kids were near or over 30 did all three of them decide, in their own time, that they wanted to go hunting. Now, for them, its a yearly family ritual.

[HiBC]

I did not have a father around at that age.An older brother,who was off to war,left behind a copy of Robert Ruark's book "The Old Man and the Boy".I promise you will enjoy reading it.He may discover it.

In the broad sense,developmentally,there is something about a connection between the nurturing of mom for the boy.Some get stuck in this stage,and live life puruing the approval of women,even if they might,(hypothetically) become president or vice president.

And,it is common that there is a certain space between the father and son.

The key players,here,might be Grandfather,uncles,etc,and a certain passage from being a boy to crossing over to the community of men.

I intend no disrespect to the mother /son relationship,or to women,especially to hunting women.

Just some stuff I have learned along the way.

[BIKENUT06]

give him time, he may like ut after all

[Fat White Boy]

I started taking my boy dove hunting with me when he was 5. When he was 7 he got a Red Ryder BB gun to help with downed birds. By the time he was 10, he had passed Hunter's safety and was shooting with me. I also took him with me on Quail Unlimited and Big Horn Sheep Foundation projects when he was small.
There should be a Quail Unlimited, Ducks Unlimited or Turkey Federation in your area, Take him on a couple of outings and then ask if he wants to go on the next one. Take him fishing, too. Anything outdoors. You will know if he enjoys it or if he doesn't. If he doesn't want to go, don't make him. He will decide when and if he is ready...

You didn't mention if he has brothers and or sisters. Be sure to include them all when they are old enough!

[oneounceload]

While I, as a dad, would respect his view.....the question remains.....why?....is it just something he truly feels or something his teachers over time have put in his head???

[tyrajam]

Kids are all different. My oldest son is 5 and is more interested in spiderman than hunting. Its sad to me because hunting is my passion. My daughter is 7 and REALLY wants to shoot a deer. Go figure.

I would say good job not pushing him. Maybe instead of starting him on scouting deer, try hunting squirrels or something that has a little more action. Just a sugestion, like I said, all kids are different, but good for you for letting him enjoy what he enjoys.

[rjrivero]

My 10 year old took her first Russian sow at 9. She loves shooting and enjoys stalking the "ugly pigs."

When she has a bit more dicipline, I'll take her on a deer hunt. Right now she just doesn't want to sit still long enough for a day in the blind.

Kids will make their own choices. I'm saddened that you won't have any memories of hunting with your son. I'm looking forward to MANY days in the woods with my girl. She took this one with dad's AR. The collapseable stock and the manageable recoil make it a fine rifle for her........for now.

[JohnKSa]

While I, as a dad, would respect his view.....the question remains.....why?....

I agree. If it's his choice that's great. But is it really HIS choice or has someone "poisoned him against hunting"?

[roy reali]

Years ago I read an article about hunting versus genetics. The article stated that there are families were everyone hunts, yet a child is born into them that does not. There are also families that do not hunt and they have a kid that becomes an avid hunter. The author said that this is a phenomenon that couldn't be explained.

[gun44]

several times a year when he was a kid, but he never seemed to really get into it, until he was about 24. He took his first deer that year, and now he is as dedicated as I am, or maybe more so. Now my two grand sons can't wait to go hunting with "pawpaw' and I take both several times a year. My oldest grandson, at 12 years old, killed his first deer last season, a good sized doe, and man he REALLY has the fever now. They are going to make my last years a great pleasure.

[kayakersteve]

Brent - I love reading your posts! Everytime I do, it makes me want to find you and learn more of you ways (No, I'm not a stalker). Great response!

[Wuchak]

Maybe he's not ready to be behind the trigger yet but would like to come on the hunt with you.

He might enjoy being in the tree stand with a pair of binos and a camera. That's something that can be enjoyable year round, not just during a few weeks at hunting season. A big part of the hunt is the enjoyment of being in the woods and there are other ways to enjoy that than hunting.

It's good he could be honest and it's good you're understanding and not forcing him. That could turn him off to it forever.

I would try to get a clear answer on why he doesn't want to go. It could be something as simple (or complex) as the 12 year old girl he has a crush on doesn't like hunting.

[Uncle Billy]

Maybe he regards hunting as killing animals for fun, and that just doesn't appeal to him, or maybe he even abhors the idea. It might be useful to gently explore this with him in order to find out if that's how he feels about hunting in general, and if so how does he resolve that with the fact that you hunt. Having a conversation on this might help, or at least make clear what the issues are.

If you're lucky, some time in the future his attitudes might evolve into a different take on it. You're wise not to press him or force the issue on him now; sensitive kids are vulnerable to emotional damage if what they are sensitive about gets jammed in their face.

Just $.02 worth of my experience on this issue.

[srt 10 jimbo]

I took my son Hog hunting last year for the first time. I waited till winter when the temps were alot cooler (bout 60-70 degrees down here) He got a 115lb'er that I smoked out in the back yard. He's waiting for the temps to drop again so we can get back out there. Maybe wait till It gets a little cooler , then take him out. at 92 degrees even my kid would rather be inside playing x-box.

[ZeSpectre]

I'm not gonna push him to go.

Good.

One of the sore spots that, 30 years later, still exists between my father and myself is that he pushed HARD to make me go hunting with him and when I finally flat-out refused (at age 15) he took my guns away telling me that he sure wasn't going to "waste money" with me shooting his ammunition or guns.

Eventually (like a year and a half later) he repented because I was very good at taking out varmints on the farm, but he just never could come to terms with my indifference to hunting.

The irony being that I still wound up having a lifelong association with firearms and am a pretty decent target shooter who enjoys the shooting sports even though I still really couldn't care less about hunting.

I have no beef with those who enjoy hunting, and I'm certainly not squeamish (grew up on a beef farm and have shot plenty of groundhog and other varmints) but for myself I just don't care about hunting and I'm pretty sure I never actually will unless I have to put food on the table. Taking out an animal has always fallen under the task of "unpleasant but sometimes necessary" to me and at this point in my life I don't think it's ever going to change.

HOWEVER...I do agree with the others who say try to have a conversation and find out why he's not interested. It may just be something temporary and once he's over that he may really want to hunt. Don't shove him hard, but keep the door open too.

[Scout]

Thank you for your very interesting insights. To answer a few...he does like a girl now and she may have spoken against the hunt. I'll have to talk to him about it. Also, he does love the video games, although he like to shoot at the range also. I think that the brutal heat and the bugs of the early season scouting may have been a factor also. Oh well, his 9 year old brother loves to go scouting with me. Maybe I'll have a couple of hunting buddies in my old age after all. Thanks again.

[Greg.B]

Scout, hat's off to you for not pushing him. Letting him be himself and make his own choices shows that you're a good father, and you should be proud of him for being able to tell you how he feels. He may choose to hunt later in life, or he may not. Either way, he's not any lesser of a person because he doesn't want to.

I have 2 sons, a 15 year old and a 14 year old.

The 13 year old lives for anything outdoors: shooting, hunting, fishing, camping, etc....CONSTANTLY

The 15 year old likes to shoot from time to time, also camps some here and there, but hates hunting and fishing. It's just not for him; he doesn't like getting up early, staying out late, the heat, the cold, the bugs, or rain, or dirt, or pretty much any of the things that goes with the outdoors. You get the picture

They're equal in my minds...they're just different individuals!

[ZeroJunk]

When I was a kid we got three channels on the TV, sometimes. Hunting was a great escape and entertaining. Plus, we could use the food.

I'm not sure that if I was a kid today hunting wouldn't bore me to death with all the input available from so many different directions.

[riggins_83]

When I was a kid we didn't have electricity, running water or a telephone for many years. Hunting was something I did every chance I had...

[BoneDigger]

Well, it's disheartening at this point, but he has plenty of time to make a decision. Keep the rifle and the stand and maybe he'll change his mind. Kids often go through phases at that age.

My 7 year old daughter has been following me around in the woods lately and enjoyting it, but I know that she may change her mind soon. If she does I'll roll with it. The worst thing to do is to push them. That'll turn them against it faster than anything else.

BTW, good job on being a caring father! The world needs more fathers like you!

Todd