How to dress a snapping turtle.

[jeager106]

I have a dear g-friend that has a 2 acre "lake" in her back yard.
It's teeming with bass, huge bluegills, and as I learned, quite a few snapping turtles.
'Natch I remembered being a kid watching my dad & uncles dress a large snapper which they later turned into turtle soup. I had to try it myself.
So...... I set some turtle lines & caught two that were about 15 pounds each.
Turtle have very hard shells & the toughest skin ever found on the planet.

Here is how to properly dress a live snapper.
Two Methods.

Method one: Always prepare for the event properly. It's not at all like prepping a rabbit or squirrel.
Gather necessary tools prior to attempting to dress a snapping turtle.
It's recommended the critter be at least 15 pounds.
One that size or larger is capable of removing a nice sized "V" of your flesh & or removing a digit quickly & cleanly.
Have the phone number for the local E.M.T. squad handy & call the nearest
hospital to advise them of your allergies to medicines & your blood type.
You will need:
Sawzall, circular saw with new rip blade, hammer & chisle, axe, sharp knives or better still several surgical scalpels, a pry bar.
A mil surp steel helmet to simulate the turtle. ( for practice )
Emergency medical supplies, gauge pads, antiseptic, a tornequet is a good idea.
Copy of an anatomy of a turtle. Turtles have joints like nothing else.
Rifle.
Large bottle of whiskey.

This is a two person endevor so call your friend named Bubba that you aren't too fond of anyway.
If Bubba has said " Hey fellers, watch this! " & survived he's perfect.
A snapping turtle stinks when freshly caught so it's best to have Bubba with you when you catch the beast.
Let Bubba carry the live turtle.
Put turtle in large container of fresh water you change at least 2 X daily for 3 days.
It's always better to have Bubba hold the turtle while you change the water.
After 3 days most of the stink will be gone. The turtle will stink less also.
Don't pay any attention to "Bubba" U Tube videos showing how to decapitate a live turtle.
That's a great way to loose fingers.
That's only o.k. if Bubba volunteers to whack off the turtles head.
Shoot the beast in the brain with the rifle.
A .22 will work unless the beast is very large.
In such a case a .308 is prefered.
Be careful of your backstop as you will need Bubba for this entire operation.
Once the turtle has been brained with a bullet have Bubba pull it's head out straight while you use the axe to decapitate the thing as the neck bone is quite thick & hard.
If you break the axe head the sawzall or circular saw will come in handy.
Hang the turtle neck down & allow to bleed out.
Make a cut with the curcular saw where the bottom shell joins the top shell.
Be mindful of Bubba's fingers please.
The turtle will move vigorously every time you touch the thing.
This is where you will appreciate practicing the ordeal using the steel military helmet while Bubba jerks & moves it to imitate a turtle with no head.
Be mindful of the turtles 4 feet as they are equipped with 5 one inch long claws that are needle sharp.
Bubba will put his fingers in the decapitated turtles mouth.
You will understand why that's a bad idea when the screaming and crying dies down.
The hammer & chisle will come into play removing the "dead" turtles jaws from Bubba's body parts.
Remove the bottom shell first thus exposed the turtle innerds.
This is when bubba will begin wretching up his breakfast.
You will also.
Once the bottom shell is removed with the aid of a pry bar & the innerds fall out onto your crotch, you can remove the 4 delicious legs, the neck & tail.
Be sure to remove every bit of turtle skin. (remember the stink?)
Turtle skin is quite tough & requires utmost care not to slice off a finger.
Bubba won't like that at all.
Some people save the skin to make bullet resistant clothing.
Once all the meat has been remove place it in a bowl of cold water to soak over night or 3 months if prefered.
Now the whiskey. It's time to bind up the wounds, pour a glass of whiskey and relax.
You've earned it.

Method two:
Having layed out all the tools and taken all the precautions pour you & Bubba a glass of whiskey.
Drink same.
Now put the live turtle in the nieghbors swimming pool and watch the kids shreek with unbridled terror.

[603Country]

Shucks, I really wanted to know how to do it. When I was a kid, a guy came by the house with a big snapper in the bed of his truck. He poked it with a boat paddle to show us how mean it was and it bit the paddle in half. That's all I ever really needed to know about how dangerous one could be.

[Mobuck]

The last (only) turtle I saw butchered was over 1/2 century ago and the chain of events was eerily similar(minus the whiskey since the process took place at Granny's house).
I can't remember what it tasted like but I'm pretty sure it wasn't chicken. Granny cooked it since her sense of smell was mostly gone.

[JWT]

Makes perfectly good sense to me.....

[mulespurs]

Just shoot the head off the turtle.
.223 soft point maybe or a shotgun. Then mr turtle is stunned. Then use a sharp knife and follow the seams on the bottom of the shell. Not so big a deal.

The old man who showed me said "we can't butcher your turtle til tomorrow, because you haven't shot him yet", he used a 22 lr. and waited a day to start.
I set the turtle down and shot him with a .44 mag. Old Wilbur fell off his chair laughing. The turtle was pretty subdued.Wilbur allowed that we could get him done that night.
I have heard that a good dunking in boiling water stops all the foolishness and lets you peel the skin off readily, I haven't done that but it sounds worth a try.

Once upon a time my boys and I recovered 42 eggs out of a medium size snapper. No we didn't eat them.

[jeager106]

In all seriousness I watched a turtle dressing some 57 years ago.
(that ages me don't it?)
I did one today (just me) and it was a bit of a chore.
I made turtle soup & it's really pretty good.
I doubt I'll ever do another one unless I'm starving.
I'll catch them from the g-friends lake but I'll let them go someplace else far away.
Better watch out in your swimming pool.

[Prof Young]

Hunters:

I cleaned a HUGE snapping turtle years ago. Threw the meat in a croc pot with veggies and . . . IT WAS HORRIBLE.

I had a friend tell me that you should keep the turtle live in a tub of water. Change the water ever day until it stays clear overnight. That means the turtle is cleaned out an ready to kill, clean and eat.

Any thoughts?

Live well, be safe
Prof Young

[Sure Shot Mc Gee]

Any thoughts?

Yep!! best not to monkey with them.
Father-in-law use to make turtle soup from snapper's. Never got involved or bothered to watch their butchering. Never ate any of his soup either. And as seen on more than one occasion. From the boat Dock to the rain barrel behind their cabin He was very-very careful with their handling. What was surprising to me was the length of their neck. They do got some reach. No doubt about that.

[Roaddog]

If you skalled the turtle the funky taste of the skin will get into thr meat.It will skin nicer but best to just shin it.To take the head off take a metal rod put a bend on one end,put it in the turtles mouth huck dow .Hook the botum jaw and pull the head out as far as it will go.Now takt the hatchit and cut off the head.Hang by thr hined legs till the blud dranes,abought 2hrs.I skin the legs out at this point.They will try to pull away from you but just grab the foot with a pliers to hold the still.Cut feet off and save the claws.Take a good sharp knife and cut around the botum part of the shell a good pair of tinsnips will cut through the side staps. lift out the botum shell and remoove the legs at there joints. Skin neck and tail.Cut then off.Now you have the meat to make soop or grill.

[Art Eatman]

Dress a snapping turtle?

A buddy of mine caught a female snapper.

Victoria's Secret was not the answer.












Sorry. Couldn't help it. Just another character defect...

[markj]

Man, I use a jack handle thru the lower jaw into the ground to hold that head down, cut it off with a knife, turn the turtle over and slide knife between sheels all around him, lift off lower shell, salt him heavy he will do the hurdy gurdy till done, all water will be out of him then, skin him, grill them leg steaks, the rest goes into the stock pot. Freakin city boys get bit tho so best do it for them so they don't get hurted up.

Got one was almost 30 in across, used his top shell as a hat...

[buck460XVR]

I was taught that you hung the turtle by the tail and cut it's head off and let it bleed out. You butchered it when cool outside because cleaning one takes a while and the meat will taint if it gets too warm. Big females caught when they are stressed from laying eggs and will also have a strong flavor. Most folks puncture the guts and/or the bladder when cleaning and this can taint the meat. This is why many folk recommend keeping the turtle alive for a week in a tub of water. That way the stomach and bladder are empty of anything but water when you butcher it.

[A400 Fan]

Saw a show with Andrew Zimmern - the guy dressing the snapper used a compressed air hose after making a small slit to expand the skin enough that it came off easily - might want to review that show....... you'll still need a sharp knife to flesh the shell

[giaquir]

I think I'll stick to Essem hotdogs.

[jughead2]

saw this about 20 years ago. big pot of boiling water, kill turtle, turtle in hot water until one could pull toe-nails off with fingers, rubbed the dirt off of skin with hands easily. skin was as white as a new white t-shirt. he cut it up skin on and rolled it corn meal and flour, salt and pepper. deep fried until it floated and golden brown. five of us i thought we were going to fight over it nothing left but bones.

[gyvel]

Doesn't really sound like it's worth the effort. Sounds a bit like going into the mangrove swamps and trying catch blue land crabs to eat. Gotta keep 'em penned up for two weeks, feeding them cornmeal until they clean out.

Given how bad a snapping turtle smells, I'd just as soon go to the grocery store and get something to eat.

[kraigwy]

This post made me go out and hug my freezer full of elk meat.

[Unlicensed Dremel]

I guess the method you use is gonna depend on whether you're putting a evening gown or pants suit on it, when you dress it.

EDIT: Dangit! Art beat me to it!

Dress a snapping turtle?

A buddy of mine caught a female snapper.

Victoria's Secret was not the answer.

[reynolds357]

The way I always saw turtles cleaned was simple. Clean it out for several days. When it is cleaned out, throw it alive in boiling water for a couple of minutes. It shells and skins pretty easily.

The only problem I have with using compressed air is that unless you are buying medical or aviation grade, the stuff is nasty. Ever drain the water out of a compressor? I would not want to blow that residue on what i am about to eat.

[Water-Man]

The first snapper I caught was a disaster. I picked him up from the rear but held him a little to close to his head. He swiveled his neck around and almost got me. Then I held him further rearward and he swiveled his neck around again but couldn't reach me this time. I had a big grin on my face.

That grin soon vanished when he pi$$ed on me.

[Roaddog]

Flip the turtle on iy's back, takeyour belt off and loop it around it's tale. If you keep presher on it it will make a huck in the tale and you just pull it along like a sled.Ya don't haveto pick them up.

[Wild Bill Bucks]

Most of the stink, is in the mud on them. Cut the head off with a pair of tree pruners, as well as the feet (the feet move all the time when cleaning, and the claws can scratch you.) rinse off the turtle with a pressured garden hose and the stink will be gone. Take a board with a large nail driven through it. With the nail facing up, stob the turtle on it with his belly up. This will make it easier to work on because their back is round, and you don't want them sliding around on you while your cutting on him. Cut through the side plates holding the top and bottom together. Slide knife around shell until bottom comes off, the cut as close to the shell on the top until meat comes out. Then you can gut him without getting anything on the meat.(Keep the garden hose handy, and if you do break the gut, just rinse off the inside good, and don't let it sit on the meat) The joints are a little weird and will take some practice before figuring out exactly where to cut, but with a little practice it becomes much easier. Be sure to throw the little balls of fat away, and don't make the mistake of trying to cook them, as they will give off a bad flavor to the meat. Legs are jointed crooked, and will have to be cut into two pieces or they won't lay flat in a frying pan. Once you have all the pieces cut up, they can be prepared in the same manner as frying chicken. The bigger turtles need to be boiled for a few minutes, then rolled in an egg and milk base, then floured before frying. The smaller ones can go right into the frying pan without boiling as they are to young to be very tough. The meat is worth the trouble when done right, and there is a lot more meat on them than most people think. A stiff blade is better for the task than a flimsy knife like a fillet knife, and it needs to be sharp. I would suggest anyone interested to catch a few small ones 10 to 12" across and practice on them before attempting anything larger. My favorite seasoning are salt, pepper, garlic, and a little Hidden Valley dry dressing mix in with the flour.
I won't tell you it tastes like chicken as the meat has a taste all it's own, but it is a good flavored meat, that is well worth trying out.


Hope this helps those who are serious about eating some.

[gyvel]

BTW: When you dress a snapping turtle, how do you get them to put their heads through the neck hole in the sweater? Also, do you have to tie their shoes for them?

[Rembrandt]

Originally Posted by gyvel

BTW: When you dress a snapping turtle, how do you get them to put their heads through the neck hole in the sweater?

Is that what's known as a "Turtleneck Sweater?".....

[Unlicensed Dremel]

Do they hide in their shells if they just don't have a thing to wear? I'm assuming they get dressed very slowly - but steadily.... If I were you, I wouldn't "shell" out too much for the wardrobe for it, if you're just gonna turn around and eat it. And don't forget - turtles really aren't all that special - they put their pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.