Keeping Safe......

[Canuck84]

Hello All from the Great White North.

I was looking for some tips and expertise on how to avoid conflict and to be prepared (with or without CCW)

Specifically:
Crowds, Halls, Walking to work, In a store, Restaurant, etc.

I like everyone else do not go looking for fights but sometimes you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Any advice? If anyone has some books or tips that would be great.....

[gryphon]

My solution to that very problem was to find a good martial arts class. I tend to stay away from a lot of the Tae Kwon Do schools as most of them in my neck of the woods are more interested in winning trophies.

My suggestions are Hapkido, Shotokan, and Juijutsu. Before enrolling, watch some of the classes that you would be in and see how it is presented. Also, ask the instructors if they cover the material you are looking for. Some won't, some will, and others will, but only to the advanced students.

I started learning martial arts when I was 10(now I'm 26). My instructor was a bouncer in night clubs in NYC for 5 years, so everything that he taught he knew worked because he at one time or another had to use it to save his, or someone elses life.

Anyway that's my 2 cents.

[Canuck84]

Yes true Martial arts are great. That helps when you do get into a fight but getting jumped from behind in a hall or robbed or attacked, what can you do to avoid those sort of situations? well besides never leave the house :-)

I remember someone saying they only sit on certain sides of a restaurant..... What side would that be? in the cornor?

[HeadHunter]

The great majority of confrontations involve one or more of three no nos: stupid people, stupid places, stupid things. Stay away from them and most trouble will not even come close to you.

What's the best way to win a gunfight? Don't be there.

[LASur5r]

Canuck,
Just for background...Been practicing various martial arts for 37 years now, but the best way to be safe? Don't be there.
But as to your question...practice to be the gray man, prevention is the key. When you walk into a room, pause for a second or so to see if you can pick up the "environment" ...is everything calm or is everyone kind of loud and agitated? If loud...leave.
Look immediately for the exits...try to sit near one. If things get a little agitated, don't hang around...leave. Sit where you can watch as many entrances as possible. Try to watch the crowds, pick up on the loud mouths, the bullies...they're the ones that will start a fight. Avoid them as fast as possible. Keep distance between you and them.

In hallways? Learn to listen and wait. If your senses tell you danger...maybe people in the hallway..get behind some cover in the dark if you have to go to your apartment. Wait quietly or leave and come back later. If you have a cell phone, call the cavalry...better they check it out than you, but get clear of the danger area first.

In Vietnam, in a potential ambush site, we learned that often the first one to move, died....learn to wait at least 5 minutes, perfectly still! Unless you know more BG's are coming, then you learn to move from one dark point to the next, very quickly and quietly.

Buy shoes that make little to no noise when you walk in a normal street area with very little background noise. Learn to put your feet down quietly when you walk.

Buy clothes out of materials that don't make noise when they rub against each other as you walk.

Get colors that are non-descript, that tends to "camouflage" if you will, where you blend in with the rest of the people and the environment.

Get the hang of those practices first and see how you feel and if it seems to work. Keep us posted.

[ctdonath]

Read:
Principles of Personal Defense by Jeff Cooper
In The Gravest Extreme by Massad Ayoob

Take:
LFI-I at Lethal Force Institute
250 Basic Defensive Pistol at Gunsite

Practice:
One unarmed martial art (karate, akido, judo, ...)
One armed martial art (kali, ...)
Monthly (if not weekly) at the shooting range
(Make sure these are geared toward defensive combat, as opposed to sport or health.)

[Canuck84]

Thanks. Great tips. That was what I was looking for. But one other question. When out with company how do you explain your tactics to them? I can see it now........ Me getting dragged away to a padded cell for extreme paranoia. But I'm not. I'm reeeeeeeely a positive optimistic person, Just careful....

Right? Right? Anybody find that people judge your carefulness as something else?

canuck84

[4V50 Gary]

A good martial arts instructor not only teaches how to fight, but mindset. He becomes a spiritual guide who helps the student develop into a responsible individual. Mine also taught humility ("Sometimes the teacher is the student and sometimes the student is the teacher.").

That said, once you've learned some martial arts, don't neglect to learn Verbal Judo. I learned it the hardway and it's the art of deescalation to avoid fighting. It's talking without confrontation and diffuses the conflict by making it less personal between the involved parties.

[Canuck84]

Humility.... Good Idea 8-)

Anything more about the Verbal Judo? What does that involve? Do you know a book about it or know of something like that?

To Ctdonath- Thanks for the course tips but none are offered in my area 8-(

Thanks for the Ideas everybody!

[4V50 Gary]

There is a book or two on the subject of Verbal Judo (Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion by George Thompson & Jerry Jenkins, $12). I never read one and developed it on the streets. It kept me out of fights without compromising my safety or my effectiveness as a patrol officer. Mind you, it's just another tool and not an panacea for all encounters. Sometimes Mr. Stick has to introduce himself as well as Mr. Foot & Mr. Fist and Mr. Sidewalk, Mr. Wall, Mr. Lightpole and hopefully not, Mr. BigBore. I'll see if I can find a couple of titles for you later.

This month's (Jan. 2001) edition of Police Magazine has an article, Using Persuasion Tactics to Manage Conflict which touches on some of the techniques. Email me a mailing address and I'll xerox it for you.

[Edited by 4V50 Gary on 01-13-2001 at 02:24 PM]

[CelticSniper308]

Canuck84, I agree that learing martial arts can be helpful(I study as well), but in modern situations a lot of martial arts techniques that are needed on the street are taught only to advanced students. There are, however self defense courses that teach the techniques needed if you should happen to get into the situation. I was lucky in the fact that my instructor knew this. he taught all of his students those techniques as well. I did have the unfortunate luck that I did have to use some of it in a self defense situation. I used basic techniques which worked well. I also talked to him to try and ease the tension. I only reacted to his attacks. After two attacks he backed off. I was lucky that night. That is a rare occasion that they back off so soon. Good luck.

CelticSniper308

[Canuck84]

Celticsniper: What happened? Was it assault out of knowwhere or did he catch you with his woman? 8-)

Thanks for the tips. On the topic of getting a feel for of a room (agressive stressed etc.) That is too true. Tonight I was at a church function (robbie burns dinner) at a hall with about 250 people their. Lots of fun but just out of interest/practice I tried to keep the tips from you guys in practice aka. Keep exits in sight. Those things are especially true not for only self defence reasons but how about a fire? How many of us want to be in a 250 person stampede?

Ironically my brother and I were pulled over by the LEO's on the way home. Apperently some punks were trying to light buildings on fire in my area. I ain't no skid and since we both were polite and obviously cooperative and inocent 8-) we parted ways. See? always a reason to watch your back.
I salute the LEO's for doing their job and trying to protect my property. Cheers to all LEO's.
Canuck84

[SB]

Good question. Great responses. I'll throw in my two cents worth and see what happens.

To question is too broad because, as the responses have shown, the question begs for a wide range of factors to consider.

For starters, there is mindset. To restate the obvious, the goal of mindset is to place ourselves into a manner of thinking and being that will allow us to best survive street-related adversities. Mindset is divided into three factors: Spiritual, mental, and emotional.

To me, the spiritual factor has to do with what we believe in. If we believe that we are fighting for something we can not justify or understand, we will not be as effective as those who believe they are fighting for something as dire and obvious as saving a little girl from a cold-blooded killer.

What's important is how we view against adversities in general. A wide-open subject for debate, I am currently geared towards the belief that one of the greatest crutch is that we fight to win. I believe this "Hollywood" mentality is detrimental because, although our goal may BE to win, fear of Losing our lives or similar will cause us to hesitate when initiatives are necessary. (Interesting side-note, but there is the eastern concept of fighting to die. I don't believe either way is better, but rather, a balance must be struck.) I believe those who are serious about self-defense must learn to liberate themselves by consciously letting go of any expectations of winning or losing. Instead, we need to learn to simply fight. Just go into every encounter with the belief in doing as much damage as possible, regardless of the outcome. Don't be afraid of death or great loss, but don't be afraid to live either.

Mentally, if you're like me, the mind is full of thoughts and distractions. That will lower your awareness of the surrounding. The idea is nothing more than to clear out your mind as much as possible whenever possible. Personally, I think the easiest way to practice this to go through everyday tasks as though they are our last. The nature of our activities is irrelevant. It's the mindset, the ability to learn to focus and clear out our mind that is important. Awareness comes from more focus and less distractions.

There is the emotional factor as well. The problem with emotions is fairly obvious: They can cloud our judgement. Negative emotions such as anger and fear can cause us to hesitate or do what is contrary towards the improvment of a poor situation. Emotions also need to be honed. The best way so is a lot of understanding and learning. In fact, I believe my three rules will help. (Shameless plug. ) Thus far, I believe this is the best way to develop ourselves. (An interesting aside, enough practice will help us return to the "enlightenment" state. It's not some religious or spiritual mumbo-jumbo. What it is, among other things, is a very heightened state of awareness of ourselves and the world around us. And, it may be one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and to those around us.)

Whew. Now for what we can do physically. I believe the most important thing we need to learn to do is to control our breathing. I don't know why this is, but I do know that when I delibrately take relaxed, deep breaths, I more able to remain calm and be able to deal with situations at hand than when not. It doesn't take much to practice this either. Take whatever causes you sudden, intense stress (your significant other or a scary movie ), and when it happens, just concentrate on your breathing. And what is the ideal breath? I believe it is the ones we take when we are asleep. To get an idea of what that would be, I would study myself right before I fall asleep and right after I wake up.

I believe balance is the next important thing. Balance is important so that when someone does jump you, your body are already in a position such that it would be the most difficult to take down. Also, an ideally balanced body will maximize our agility, allowing us to respond to threats as best as possible. For balance, it is important to have a relaxed body with bent joints. Relaxed breathing produces relaxed bodies. During moments of sudden, intense stress, it is a good idea to freeze for a moment and study what parts of the body tight when they don't need to be. After a while, you may get an idea of what parts of our body consistently needs special attention. The shoulders for example. That way, when you need to get serious, you can condition yourself to automatically check these body areas to be relaxed without having to waste time thinking about it. The idea is to be able to physically go into any tense situations as relaxed as our most comfortable moments.

Sight is next. Again, I don't know why this is, but we have two fields of vision. The narrow one is the one I think we use most. They allow us to focus on details and colors. We also have our peripheral vision. They can't detect colors or details. What is can do, however, is detect movement. This is important because, most of the time in self defense situations, we only need to scan for movement. For me, the most spectacular display of the ability of our peripheral vision is looking around right before dawn. Using peripheral vision, I find panoramic sceneries even more beautiful and enjoyable than to just focus in and look at it. But of course, there is the self-defense side of it. I never did quite ingrain it like second nature. I don't know why. I do my best to scan with my peripheral vision, but ultimately, let my eyes do what they want.

It's just as well. In many public locales, there is simply too much information scrutinize. We need to develop an eye for specifics. A common one among the self defense crowd is the palm. Open palms that we can see is safe while closed or concealed palms may require attention. Other things such as facial or body expression is also a good information. As a rule of thumb, the more you have to scrutinize around you, the slower the pace you need to take it.

Next comes positioning. Positioning is an age-old game that involves nothing more than to cover our back. The general rule of thumb is to hug the walls. Put another way, don't walk down the center of an open area if you can help it. Proper positioning will do more for you than awareness alone. Positioning enters an interesting dimension when you add people. Now, you not only have to watch your back, but more importantly, you may have to watch theirs. You don't have to join the Secret Service to learn this (though I'm sure that would help), but simply be mindful of where your people are, where other people are, and where you and your people are most vulnerable. This topic is beyond the scope of this post. I think for the most part, though, you'll find yourself using what is known as the "spearhead" formation, walking behind someone and to the side, to keep them in your peripheral vision while being able to observe your own surrounding.

Clothing is probably next. Speaking only as a male, the shirt is the camoflauge of the urban jungle. The basic rule of thumb is to be discrete. I recall reading a sociological study once that said that T-shirts are the modern individual's personal billboard. If so, don't advertise. Don't stick out.

If the shirt is the camoflauge, the pants is the utility portion of the clothing. I usually don't care about the appearances of my pants as much as I do my shirts. Rather, I have a certain list of items I feel necessary, and it's a matter of finding a pants/belt arrangement that will accomodate it all. I believe in dressing for summer. That's when we will most likely wear the least, and therefore, is the most difficult time to conceal. If you can pull that off, chances are you can use the exact arrangement year-round, with or without your legal CCW.

But when it's all said and done, in the end, I think all we need is common sense. However, common sense is relative and it's geographical. What will seem common sensical will make no sense in another country. Even when operating at home base, I believe the best way to avoid confrontation is advanced preparation. Get as much relevant intelligence as possible about where you are going and how best to get there. Find out what we need to do and plan out in advance how best to execute it. And always have a back-up plan!

Finally, before I leave my perch, I would like to impart yet another rhetoric of mine: Those who are successful need not fight. Comments and feedback are highly welcomed. Thank you.

[Edited by SB on 01-16-2001 at 12:35 AM]

[SB]

I can't believe I just posted that. I forgot to address one thing: Crowds. Generally speaking, I think crowds are a good thing. Unless someone really wants you dead, they won't attack you with other people around. There's more, but I'm done for the evening.

[mooser]

As a leo I have become accustomed in watching people and my surroundings, even when I'm not working. Be aware of those around you as well as the enviroment that you are in.
You can tell a lot by watching people, their posture, gestures, their demeanor. Clothing sometimes will be a giveway to hiding weapons, ie: fannypack, coat on when it's hot outside, baggy pants. In food establishments I sit facing the door so I can see who comes and goes. trust your gut instinct, if something/someone/someone gives you that uneasy feeling then trust that instinct, most times that sixth sense is right.

Get good instruction in:
1.firearms if you choose to have one for self defense.
2.empty hand defenses, karate or other martial art if you have the time to commit to the education. or seek out intructional seminars that teach basic defense skills of using the fists-elbows-knees-feet, grappling, ground fighting, etc
3.other force options training in baton, pepper/chemical sprays, electronic incapacitation devices, defensive uses of the cane (you can take a cane anywhere unsuspecting, even on an airplane when you travel) and it is a very useful tool.
4.instructional courses in tactics and mindset.
5.and course in verbal judo, or how to use your mouth first and always when forced into a confrontation with no option of walking away. one should always use their mouth first and always use verbal commands when forced exercise a force option for self defense.

lots of knowledge can be obtained from those instructors who have been there. seek out good instruction.
in our basic courses we always make sure that a great amount of detail is spent covering the use of force options and legalities.

my $.02
sully
http://www.defensive-edge.net

[ACB777]

Be aware, then avoid. That will solve 98% of any potential problems.