Handgun for my wife

[fitfighter81]

I'm planning on getting my wife her first handgun this year for her B-Day! Just curious for those of you with wives and g/f's that carry, what do they use? I know what I am planning on getting but there is always something you don't think of ya know? All advice is welcome!

[EdInk]

I'll be the first to say it and hopefully spare you the other million posts saying the exact same thing ad nauseum.

Let her pick her own gun.

Also, the obligatory suggestion to have her visit corneredcat.com

That should save about 3 pages of replies to your post. Happy New Year.

[EdInk]

An actual answer to your question is that women usually have smaller hands and people think to get them the smallest gun possible. Good idea in theory but not always in practice. Smaller lightweight guns ARE harder to master. However, really big guns CAN be too heavy or bulky for them.

Don't buy a snubbie unless she is going to practice enough to be good with it.

I would suggest a good semi-auto in 9mm. Something like a Kahr K9 with a steel frame. It's in a good caliber, not too small, reliable and is simple to operate. If you want smaller get the MK9. That's about as lightweight and small as I would suggest for a first gun. If she is willing to carry something bigger the Springfield Armory XD line has several good choice that fit most people's hand comfortable.

I hope the rest of the threads are for actual guns, not "let her pick" it's been covered in the first post (and is the best "advice" but not really what you asked about in the OP.

[jmortimer]

My wife like her S&W M&P 360 but she shoots standard pressure 38s out of it. I like the J frames as well. As suggested, she will have to try a few out or at least handle a few guns to make a decision she likes.

[Falcon642]

How comfortable is your wife with guns? My wife was terrified of guns when we first got married, now she has a Bersa Thunder .380 that she quite likes.

The Bersa is a good gun for first timers in that it has very, very mild recoil. My wife wanted a gun with a manual safety, fit her hand well, and had low recoil. The Bersa fits all three of those qualifications admirably.

Browning and Beretta also make good full sized .380's, but you can buy 2 or 3 Bersas for the price of a Browning or Beretta.

[twhidd]

My wife carries a Smith & Wesson 642. She likes it but she doesn't practice as often as I wish she would. I didn't pick it out for, she picked it out for herself.

[mes227]

I recently purchased a S&W 610 10mm/40S&W and had my girlfriend at the range with it around Thanksgiving. She loved it and I could barely pry "my" gun out of her hands! She's very petite and has only limited shooting experience, but she was immediately drawn to this gun (as was I, truth be told) and her accuracy was excellent. She was only shooting the more powerful 10mm rounds as I had not yet gotten moon clips for the 40S&W, and I think with that lighter round this gun will become hers if I'm not careful!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Read the Cornered Cat - get Pax's book - listen to little of the male internet prose!! Best advice.

Then find her a women centric or friendly shooting course!

[rodfac]

My wife has carried two Smith's over the years, but prefers the 637 Airweight. Her M-36 has a 3" barrel and adjustable sights which I prefer and is a little heavier. Both are in .38 Special, a good compromise load at SD distances in the +P loading. Here's a cpl of pics. BTW, my wife does equally well with the very lightweight, 637. The 637 currently has a pair of Crimson Trace grips which really help in low light situations.

The last pic is of a variety of .38 Spl defense loads fired from the 637 into a swimming pool. While not completely indicative of how they'd expand in a defense situation, they do show comparative expansion...Based on the pictured expansion results, we both load the Remington 125 gr +P Golden Saber round for defense.

While we both are experienced with revolvers and automatics, we carry a revolver for its simplicity and reliability. For covered carry in cooler weather, we both like a tom threepersons open top holster worn just behind the right hip. My wife also carries in a hip pack, and more rarely, in her purse.

Best of luck Rodfac

[pax]

Two questions:

1) What's the purpose of the gun going to be?

and

2) Why do you care what gun some unknown woman on the other side of the country uses?

pax

[Patrice]

.....

[fitfighter81]

The purpose mainly is a home defense gun for her, and down the road a CCW for her if she chooses to do so.

as far as why I care what someone else carries? I have a good deal of experience with firearms, enough to know like I said in the begining that there is always something I may not have thought of which might be a better option for my wife. I know what I would like to see her get but I also value the input of others who wives or girlfriends have more experience than mine does as far as what they carry, how they carry it, and what they carry in it.
That answer your question?

[fitfighter81]

To all the men I know well enough to let her pick it! lol

[pax]

fitfighter81 ~

One more question: Does your wife already know how to shoot, or will she be learning on this gun?

To explain my second question, here's a list of things all women have in common:

• .
• .
• .

There are lots of criteria you can use to help choose a gun. What some other woman (or a bunch of other women) like should not be among them. It would be a little silly if I came online & asked, "What do men like to shoot?" And it makes just as little sense to ask what women like to shoot. She's female, sure, and so am I -- but we may have absolutely nothing else in common at all. So it's not really a valid criteria in shopping for a firearm.

More important: what does your wife like? How much shooting experience does she have? What's her hand size? How much tolerance does she have for recoil? How important is it to her that she learn quickly? How motivated is she? Will she get training? Will she practice regularly? Does she prefer semi autos or revolvers? What's her hand strength like? Does she have any specific challenges such as arthritis, weak fingers, bad shoulders, etc?

All of those questions are important. Besides being unanswerable, "What do women want?" really isn't useful here. Your wife isn't women-in-general. She is herself, with her own abilities, challenges, and preferences.

pax

[fitfighter81]

LOL. Yea, that is one question I don't try to answer, I just wait for my wife to tell me "what she wants". As far as her weapons experience goes, she only has some basic range experience. With my little Walther P22 she can keep everything center mass at 25yrds, with my M&P 9C she looses accuracy at 25yrds but is still a decent shot. Anything more powerful than 9mm she is not comfortable with, and is this were simply going to be a home defense gun then I would just get her an good old fashoned 870 but those don't fit into any of her purses! If she decides she wants to go through with getting a CCDW then I have guys I work with who are instructors to do the work with her. I learned when we were dating that I don't have the patience to teach her myself. I realise my initial post may have seemed to be just shooting from the hip so to speak but it really was not meant that way. I was more just curious on what experience others in my shoes have had.

[bgdv1]

my wife carried a S&W 908 9mm for years until she decided to get a little revolver and she picked out a taurus 85. i definately wouldnt want to be on the wrong end of what ever she was pointing, she's a hell of a shot for all the more she gets to practice.

[pilpens]

S&W J frame 38 (no lock, if you can find one) or metal framed Kahr pistol. Of cousre, it has to fit her hand. Better if she pick.

[ClydeFrog]

If this small handgun is her very first sidearm or if she plans to carry it concealed, I'd suggest the J frame S&W 649, 49, Bodyguard(with laser aimer), 442 or maybe a 686+ with a 3" barrel. A after-market Crimson-Trace lasergrip & maybe some Mag-na-ports(porting) would be smart too for 3" snub barrels or longer. A Ruger LCR or a DA only SP101 in .357magnum would be a smart pick too. My 1st revolver was a Ruger SP101 DAO with a 2.25" barrel in 1993.

The Taurus CIA or Protector small frames in .38spl or .357mag could be a value. CT markets lasergrips for these snubs also, .
The quality of some Taurus models is - & +, but the Ti models are lightweight and hold up to magnum/+P loads.
If you really want a semi auto pistol, the HK P2000sk LEM, the SIG P239 DAK in .357sig or 9x19mm, or the compact Kahr models could be a good start.
A smooth even DA only pull will reduce ADs and if she needs to use it in a defense incident, lawyers or criminal investigators can't make false or bogus claims of "cocking" the weapon or firing in a panic because of a single action.

[Winterhawk56]

Let me start off by stating "NEVER TELL YOUR WIFE YOU WANT TO GIVER HER A GIRLS/WOMANS GUN"!

After the my wife put me in my place she tried a few of my weapons out and loved the S&W 60 snub nose .357 Mag with +P .38 special's 125 and 158 GRN rounds! She shot the Mags but said it was a little much for close quarters to suit her.

I recommend and good .357 revolver like the ones shown here with the +P, it works great for her!

Mind you she is 5'2" and weighs a whopping 115 pounds. After 34 years you think I would have learned what NOT to say!

[pax]

fitfighter ~

Okay. So she's had some experience with semi autos and hasn't had any real trouble with them. That being the case, I'd suggest sticking with a semi auto unless she has a strong affinity for revolvers. You don't say anything about her hand or finger strength, but my experience suggests that roughly half of the women out there --and not always the ones we expect! -- have difficulty running a DA trigger well, and that's another factor to include in your thinking. Not insurmountable if she prefers revolvers, but no reason to push her that direction that I can see.

You say she'll be most comfortable with 9mm or below; to me, that suggests sticking with a 9mm unless you know something about her recoil tolerance that you're not sharing (esp since most .380 guns, particularly "concealable" .380s, are physically uncomfortable to shoot). Once we get below the .380 line, we're no longer in defensive caliber land. Although a smaller caliber might indeed do in a pinch, unless there's a compelling reason to go smaller (such as arthritis or some other physical injury), it's something to be avoided.

Since the gun will be primarily for home defense and for becoming a better / more experienced shooter (you don't even know for sure that she'll want to carry), I'd suggest concentrating on firearms that are first and foremost comfortable to shoot. Yes, that's going to rule out a lot of the superlightweight teeny-tiny guns people suggest for concealed carry. But for the most part, those tiny lightweights are not appropriate for beginners. The smaller and lighter the gun, the more painful it is to shoot and the less likely she is to enjoy practice or want to do more of it. That's exactly the opposite of your primary goal here, unless there's something else you haven't mentioned yet.

Obviously, you do have carry in mind down the road, so we should avoid suggesting anything ginormous that would be too large to carry. That's do-able. Since you suggest that she'll carry in her purse, there's NO reason at all to stick with the tiny lightweights in any case: if you're going to go to the trouble and hassle of putting a gun in your purse instead of conveniently on your body, the size of the gun absolutely doesn't matter a bit. (The weight does, but not the size.) If she does decide to carry in her purse, I'd suggest stopping by www.usgalco.com, www.coronadoleather.com, www.designerconcealedcarry.com, and www.guntotenmamas.com to look at some of the holster purses that are available. I'm right now working on some purse reviews for the Cornered Cat website, but they aren't up yet.

Okay, now the gun itself. For simplicity, I'd suggest sticking with either a striker-fired or one of the lighter DAO triggers. Yes, some people do learn to shoot on DA/SA guns, but most people really don't put in the practice to become truly skilled with these trigger types; they often shoot them only in SA and refuse to master the transition from DA to SA on the first two shots. That's bad juju on a defense gun. Similarly, a gun that absolutely requires the safety to be engaged every single time (as a pure SA gun does) really isn't the best learning gun, because beginners do forget to engage that safety a depressing percentage of the time. So I suggest a simple DAO with a fairly light trigger or a striker-fired gun.

You don't say anything about her hand size, so I'm basing my recommendations on my own medium female hands. If her hands are very small, some of the guns below won't be appropriate for her.

Here are some guns that fit the bill that she might want to consider:

Glock 26
Glock 19
XD9 SC
XD9 C
Kahr P9, K9, T9 (avoid PM9 & esp avoid PM40 -- too painful for beginning hands to avoid flinch habits)
Kahr CW9
M&P 9C


And now, having educated you about choosing a handgun for someone else, I'll tell you the truth: it doesn't matter what you choose. You're going to get it wrong. You cannot step inside her skin and feel what she feels when she handles the gun or pulls the trigger. Your hands are not the same size as her hands, and gun fit really matters in a self defense gun. (See www.corneredcat.com/FirstGun/tryongun.aspx for how to check gun fit.)

Also, by doing the research without her, you are cutting short her learning process. Facing the type of questions that come up while looking for a gun really helps a person become mentally prepared to defend herself when she needs to. If she herself faces the question of "semi auto or revolver?", she'll have to ask herself whether she intends to practice with the gun and really learn how to run it. She'll have to ask herself whether she'll be content to just throw it in a drawer somewhere or whether she'll want to get some training. If she herself faces the question of "big or small?" she'll come face to face with whether she really wants to carry it with her -- or if she's willing to think about doing that down the road. By making those decisions for her, you're robbing her of the opportunity to make those decisions for herself and cutting short her growth process.

Instead of choosing a gun for her, I strongly recommend that you give her a gift certificate for her birthday -- two of them, in fact. One for the gun, one for a training class.

But that's just me. Good luck to both of you.

pax

[labhound]

My wife has a Beretta Cheetah 85FS .380. Why?....it fits her hand perfectly, its big enough where the recoil is not an issue, she can carry it in a fanny pack holster, and she is dead accurate with it at 15 yds. Its the perfect gun for her for home defense and the type of carry that she prefers. Other guns my be better for other people, but she has found the one for her.

[billnourse]

S&W Lady Smith. They seem to fit the ladies real well, they are double action revolvers so they are reliable and as simple as it gets, plus with .38Special +P they are adaquate for self defense. In .357 Mag they are more than adaquate.

Autos for self defense don't make much sense to me in the hands of people that are not dedicated to shooting to the point of praticing enough to be proficient in racking, clearing, etc. Autos are more complicated than revolvers, and require considerably more pratice to be really proficient. Also autos are harder to function in the hands of some women due to hand strength. A self defense gun is only as good as your ability to use it.

Bill

[pax]

Bill,

Why do you assume the OP's wife won't practice? What are you basing that on?

pax

[mikerault]

Make sure she not only picks it, but fires one before you buy! I wanted the wife to get a 9mm or a .380 she picked the Bodyguard .38 with the laser sight. Once she tried it she didn't like it because of the barrel whip and recoil. Always try before you buy!

[oletymer]

My wife picked her own guns. A NAA 22 magnum, a S&W 380 Bodyguard and a Ruger LCR 357. She can shoot all of them very well and does not feel under gunned with any of them.