WARNING to all the Home Defense Fanatics out there...

FS2K · December 22, 2006, 02:26 AM

****ATTENTION****

On the night of the 24th of December 2006, please refrain from shooting any perpetrator in your home that is a heavy set, caucasian male apprearing to be in his late 50's early 60's with facial hair and bright red and white attire. Homeowners in the colder regions of the US are cautioned against using deadly force against any intruder on this night that magically enters your home via the Fireplace.

Remember: Lay off the Fat Man.

**JohnKSa** · December 22, 2006, 02:28 AM

'Tis to be hoped that his magic powers extend to bullet avoidance...

209 · December 22, 2006, 05:23 AM

He wears kevlar!

Wildalaska · December 22, 2006, 06:13 AM

Quote:

heavy set, caucasian male apprearing to be in his late 50's early 60's with facial hair and bright red and white attire.

I have license to steal!

WildsantaAlaska

bclark1 · December 22, 2006, 06:55 AM

kevlar? i'll make sure to break out the 5.7x28.

don't get me wrong, i know he's not threat. but when i can legally get all the toys in the sack, why am i just gonna let him waltz out only leaving me a few?

GoSlash27 · December 22, 2006, 08:10 AM

That roly-poly ba$tard has been stalkin' me. He knows when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake....

I think I'd better watch out

jhenry · December 22, 2006, 08:42 AM

That old man has been endangering me with second hand pipe smoke for years. He' going down.

orionengnr · December 22, 2006, 08:48 AM

...and I always wondered how he gets down the chimney, considering there's a good fire going in the fireplace...

Maybe not Kevlar, but Nomex?

Double Naught Spy · December 22, 2006, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Remember: Lay off the Fat Man.

So won't see the real Santa, so therefore if you do see somebody in your home that matches the description given, he is an imposter and an intruder and both combine to indicate that he is not there for holiday good will.

EBuff75 · December 22, 2006, 11:59 AM

Maybe you've seen this before, but for those who haven't (probably requires signing up on the website to view) here's what happens when someone sees Santa and calls 911!

http://www.jibjab.com/originals/orig...jab/movieid/24

tony pasley · December 22, 2006, 05:42 PM

Like this

Recon7 · December 22, 2006, 05:57 PM

it all makes sense now.
read this post.
http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/...d.php?t=228757
I think there is an evil plot afoot

FS2K · December 22, 2006, 11:57 PM

Quote:

That old man has been endangering me with second hand pipe smoke for years. He' going down.

Classic!LOL!

Quote:

That roly-poly ba$tard has been stalkin' me. He knows when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake....

I think I'd better watch out
Today 01:55 AM

Man that was funny!!!

The Real Wyatt · December 23, 2006, 10:51 AM

I'll give Santa a pass.

But ... if'n I get a bead on 'ol Rudolph, he's goin' up in my photo lab.

marlboroman84 · December 23, 2006, 01:36 PM

Quote:

I think I'd better watch out

Come on Goslash, you better not pout, you better not cry. Look man I'm only telling you why!

Merry Christmas all!

skidmark · December 24, 2006, 09:23 AM

Here is the full truth about the whole thing.

http://www.brightandearlyblog.com/20...ets-revisited/

Geoff Timm · December 24, 2006, 09:37 AM

Given that Santa only visits "Good little girls and boys" I suspect this lot of rowdies will have nothing to worry about.

Besides, rumor has it that Claus is an ex-Roman mercenary and northern barbarian. He has a gladius and knows how to use it in CQB. Advise you avoid contact.

Geoff
Who realized he didn't qualify for free presents years ago, but his parental units were faking it.

Para Bellum · December 24, 2006, 09:38 AM

For an atheist this is a terrifying home invasion scenario.
Tonight, I'll carry my AUG, my coach gun and two of my Glocks to protect my family from this missionary invasion!

Maybe also some garlic and wooden stakes also help. You'll never know. Or was that another scenario?

marlboroman84 · December 24, 2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

For an atheist this is a terrifying home invasion scenario.
Tonight, I'll carry my AUG, my coach gun and two of my Glocks to protect my family from this missionary invasion!

And so goes another thread down the road of things better left unsaid... MERRY CHRISTMAS ANYWAY!

Doug.38PR · December 24, 2006, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Homeowners in the colder regions of the US are cautioned against using deadly force against any intruder on this night that magically enters your home via the Fireplace.

If you try anyway, this is what will happen to you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh0UDQwnk-E

sanson · December 24, 2006, 03:46 PM

got no chimney, listen for the back door. look before shoot

December 22, 2006, 02:26 AM	#1
FS2K Senior Member Join Date: September 9, 2006 Posts: 1,853	WARNING to all the Home Defense Fanatics out there... **ATTENTION** On the night of the 24th of December 2006, please refrain from shooting any perpetrator in your home that is a heavy set, caucasian male apprearing to be in his late 50's early 60's with facial hair and bright red and white attire. Homeowners in the colder regions of the US are cautioned against using deadly force against any intruder on this night that magically enters your home via the Fireplace. Remember: Lay off the Fat Man. __________________ Just a big fan of guns.

December 22, 2006, 02:28 AM	#2
JohnKSa Staff Join Date: February 12, 2001 Location: DFW Area Posts: 24,971	'Tis to be hoped that his magic powers extend to bullet avoidance... __________________ Do you know about the TEXAS State Rifle Association?

December 22, 2006, 08:10 AM	#6
GoSlash27 Senior Member Join Date: November 26, 2004 Location: Iowa Posts: 3,118	That roly-poly ba$tard has been stalkin' me. He knows when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake.... I think I'd better watch out __________________ Bill of Rights Must be 18. Void where prohibited. Not available in all states. Some restrictions apply.

December 22, 2006, 08:42 AM	#7
jhenry Senior Member Join Date: May 27, 2006 Location: Ozarks Posts: 1,840	Yikes That old man has been endangering me with second hand pipe smoke for years. He' going down. __________________ "A Liberal is someone who doesn't care what you do, as long as it's mandatory". - Charles Krauthammer

December 24, 2006, 09:23 AM	#16
skidmark Senior Member Join Date: January 27, 2005 Location: Richmond VA - home of a street full of second-place trophies. Posts: 151	Santa conspiracy revealed Here is the full truth about the whole thing. http://www.brightandearlyblog.com/20...ets-revisited/

December 22, 2006, 05:23 AM	#3
209 Senior Member Join Date: October 16, 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 269	He wears kevlar!

December 22, 2006, 06:55 AM	#5
bclark1 Senior Member Join Date: January 5, 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,531	kevlar? i'll make sure to break out the 5.7x28. don't get me wrong, i know he's not threat. but when i can legally get all the toys in the sack, why am i just gonna let him waltz out only leaving me a few?

December 22, 2006, 08:48 AM	#8
orionengnr Senior Member Join Date: July 9, 2004 Posts: 5,173	...and I always wondered how he gets down the chimney, considering there's a good fire going in the fireplace... Maybe not Kevlar, but Nomex?

December 22, 2006, 11:59 AM	#10
EBuff75 Member Join Date: October 2, 2005 Location: Southeast Michigan Posts: 49	Maybe you've seen this before, but for those who haven't (probably requires signing up on the website to view) here's what happens when someone sees Santa and calls 911! http://www.jibjab.com/originals/orig...jab/movieid/24

December 22, 2006, 05:57 PM	#12
Recon7 Senior Member Join Date: December 10, 2005 Posts: 707	it all makes sense now. read this post. http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/...d.php?t=228757 I think there is an evil plot afoot

December 23, 2006, 10:51 AM	#14
The Real Wyatt Senior Member Join Date: July 10, 2006 Location: South Central KY Posts: 339	I'll give Santa a pass. But ... if'n I get a bead on 'ol Rudolph, he's goin' up in my photo lab.

December 24, 2006, 09:37 AM	#17
Geoff Timm Senior Member Join Date: May 18, 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 472	Given that Santa only visits "Good little girls and boys" I suspect this lot of rowdies will have nothing to worry about. Besides, rumor has it that Claus is an ex-Roman mercenary and northern barbarian. He has a gladius and knows how to use it in CQB. Advise you avoid contact. Geoff Who realized he didn't qualify for free presents years ago, but his parental units were faking it.

December 24, 2006, 09:38 AM	#18
Para Bellum Senior Member Join Date: January 7, 2005 Location: right there Posts: 1,882	A terrifying threat for an atheist. For an atheist this is a terrifying home invasion scenario. Tonight, I'll carry my AUG, my coach gun and two of my Glocks to protect my family from this missionary invasion! Maybe also some garlic and wooden stakes also help. You'll never know. Or was that another scenario? __________________ Si vis pacem - para bellum If you want peace - prepare for war

December 24, 2006, 03:46 PM	#21
sanson Senior Member Join Date: December 21, 2006 Location: FL panhandle Posts: 547	got no chimney, listen for the back door. look before shoot __________________ www.sansoneservices.com

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search