Duck Hunting, Texas style... :D

MAD DOG · June 8, 2000, 05:30 PM

Duck Hunting

Johnny Cochran decided to go duck hunting in Texas.
He is having a great time when suddenly a duck flies overhead.
He fires a shot and drops the bird but it falls into a field on the other side of a fence.

Johnny is climbing over the fence when an old farmer on tractor drives up and asks him what he thinks he is doing. Johnny says "I shot a duck and it fell into this field and now I'm going to get it."

The old farmer replies, "This is my property and you are not coming over here."

Johnny Cochran is indignant and says "Apparently you don't know who I am.
I'm Johnny Cochran, the attorney who got OJ off in that murder trial. If you don't let me get that duck I will sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiles and says "Apparently you don't know how we do things around here in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three Kick Rule."

Johnny is surprised and says "What is the Texas Three Kick Rule?"

The Farmer says, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

Johnny quickly thinks about this and decides that since he is much younger and in far better condition and that he can easily win against this old codger. Johnny agrees.

The old farmer slowly climbs down off the tractor and walks up to Johnny. His first kick plants the toe of his heavy work boot in Johnny's crotch and drops him. His second kick nearly wipes Johnny's nose off his face and blood goes everywhere. Johnny is flat on his belly. The farmer's third kick relocates Johnny's left kidney and Johnny writhing in pain for several minutes before he can stand. Summoning every bit of his will, Cochran manages to get to his feet and says,"OK you old coot, now it's my turn!!"

The old farmer smiles and says "No, I give up...you can have the duck!"

Art Eatman · June 8, 2000, 07:59 PM

ARRGGGHHHH!!! THAT'S HORRIBLE!

I'll tell it, first chance I get.

, Art

June 8, 2000, 05:30 PM	#1
MAD DOG Senior Member Join Date: October 13, 1998 Location: Arizona. Posts: 853	Duck Hunting Johnny Cochran decided to go duck hunting in Texas. He is having a great time when suddenly a duck flies overhead. He fires a shot and drops the bird but it falls into a field on the other side of a fence. Johnny is climbing over the fence when an old farmer on tractor drives up and asks him what he thinks he is doing. Johnny says "I shot a duck and it fell into this field and now I'm going to get it." The old farmer replies, "This is my property and you are not coming over here." Johnny Cochran is indignant and says "Apparently you don't know who I am. I'm Johnny Cochran, the attorney who got OJ off in that murder trial. If you don't let me get that duck I will sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiles and says "Apparently you don't know how we do things around here in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three Kick Rule." Johnny is surprised and says "What is the Texas Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer says, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." Johnny quickly thinks about this and decides that since he is much younger and in far better condition and that he can easily win against this old codger. Johnny agrees. The old farmer slowly climbs down off the tractor and walks up to Johnny. His first kick plants the toe of his heavy work boot in Johnny's crotch and drops him. His second kick nearly wipes Johnny's nose off his face and blood goes everywhere. Johnny is flat on his belly. The farmer's third kick relocates Johnny's left kidney and Johnny writhing in pain for several minutes before he can stand. Summoning every bit of his will, Cochran manages to get to his feet and says,"OK you old coot, now it's my turn!!" The old farmer smiles and says "No, I give up...you can have the duck!"

June 8, 2000, 07:59 PM	#2
Art Eatman Staff in Memoriam Join Date: November 13, 1998 Location: Terlingua, TX; Thomasville, GA Posts: 24,798	ARRGGGHHHH!!! THAT'S HORRIBLE! I'll tell it, first chance I get. , Art