|
Forum Rules | Firearms Safety | Firearms Photos | Links | Library | Lost Password | Email Changes |
Register | FAQ | Calendar | Search | Today's Posts | Mark Forums Read |
|
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
January 2, 2013, 09:15 PM | #1 |
Member
Join Date: November 4, 2012
Posts: 77
|
A Speech I Wrote on Gun Control
Now, before you guys criticize me for the speech, please remember I am a High School senior. Don't judge too critically. But this is my take on the gun control issue. I will be reciting this next week to pass speech class.
http://www.essayupload.com/view_essay.php?id=152 |
January 2, 2013, 09:27 PM | #2 | ||
Senior Member
Join Date: July 15, 2007
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,746
|
Quote:
I thought it was fairly well written. I'll only suggest that you might want to leave out the part below. Quote:
__________________
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms."- Thomas Jefferson ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ (>_<) |
||
January 2, 2013, 09:38 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: November 3, 2010
Posts: 2,016
|
It's good.
Glad to see you putting your views out there. I basically agree with what Nate45 said about leaving that part out... It doesn't add anything and kind of clouds the issue. I'm just going to quote one of our TFL posters here for an example of some of the "pithiest" writing on the subject I've seen. If you want to add a quote to your speech, I feel it'd be a good one: "Criminally insane people will never run out of ways to manifest their violent fantasies. Solutions are not found by focusing on the tool used any more than obesity is about the silverware. In America, we don't set the bar for liberty based on the acts of a few miscreants. Both guns and gasoline are manufactured for the benefit of mankind. There is not much that's more dangerous than a psychopath with 5 gallons of gasoline and a match. But if gas and matches became the weapon of choice for sociopaths, we would go after the sociopaths, not matches or gasoline. There would be no rationing of gasoline, no waiting period, no registration showing the number of gallons purchased. To even suggest that approach would be properly seen as madness." - written by “Maestro Pistolero” on thefiringline.com
__________________
What did Mrs. Bullet say to Mr. Bullet? ... "We're having a BeeBee!"... IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT!... IF THE GUN FITS, SHOOT IT! "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it." Last edited by CWKahrFan; January 2, 2013 at 09:44 PM. |
January 2, 2013, 09:51 PM | #4 |
Member
Join Date: November 4, 2012
Posts: 77
|
Thanks, both of you for the input. I will admit, this is my second 1000+ word essay in two days, so my brain is slightly fried. I will probably take that part that Nate said out, and will consider adding the quote, as I like it very much.
|
January 5, 2013, 01:02 AM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: February 19, 2002
Location: Nevada, Carson Valley
Posts: 194
|
MB21,
Very well written speech. You put in effort and thought and have good content. When you give your speech, stand proud and give your speech with conviction. The TFL members will be cheering you on. Here's some things that you may like to give some though. something that used to be just for automatics, short barreled rifles, and suppressors something that is currently used to register machine guns, short barreled rifles, and suppressors that can fire fully automatic that are capable of fully automatic fire note:they can also fire in semi-auto mode as well a round is touched off a round is discharged sounds more informative and not like the thoughts and concept you are trying to discourage taking a law abiding citizen’s means of defense away from him is not the answer taking a law abiding citizen’s means of defense away is not the answer will keep the gals on your side |
January 5, 2013, 01:10 AM | #6 |
Staff
Join Date: September 25, 2008
Location: CONUS
Posts: 18,436
|
You might find some ideas in this post, from the M1911.ORG e-zine: http://ezine.m1911.org/showthread.php?t=160
The editor in me has to point out that the opening sentence in your second paragraph is incorrect: "First, I will go into detail about the current gun control bill and how it affects people like you and I." The last word should be "me." To test whether a "you and __" sentence should be "you" or "I," remove the "you and" and read the sentence as it would be constructed just about yourself. You would not say (I hope) " ... it affects people like I." |
January 5, 2013, 05:53 PM | #7 | ||||
Staff
Join Date: July 28, 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 8,819
|
First of all, MB21, congratulations. My wife teaches Freshman Composition at one of our colleges. I have seen quite a few essays over the past couple of years and I can assure you that yours is written better than many I have seen.
With that said, I have to chime in with a couple of other posters here: Quote:
1) The story that seems fishy is that an AR was used the shooting. 2) Your assertion is that a) a rifle was found in the trunk of the car; butThe (logical) problem is that unless the shooter put guns back into the trunk of the car, the police finding X there only means that he did not use X in the shooting. The following sentence needs a little something to be complete. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Well done.
__________________
I'm a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. If you need some honest-to-goodness legal advice, go buy some. |
||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
|
|