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Old January 4, 2002, 05:11 PM   #1
Erich
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Got milk?

http://www.krqe.com/Global/story.asp?S=609078

Man Fights Off Robber With Gallon Of Milk
Date: January 4, 2001
Source: AP
Location: Clovis, NM

A Clovis man warded off a robbery attempt today with the only weapon he had -- a full gallon jug of milk. Police say 62-year-old Raymond Ballard was returning from the store about 6:40 a.m. today when two men armed with knives approached him and
demanded his wallet.

Police say Ballard refused to give it up, and one of the men jabbed the knife at his stomach. Ballard says he used the milk jug as a shield. The knife pierced the plastic milk jug and the assailant pulled back. Ballard -- who is six-foot-two and weighs 235 pounds -- then whacked him over the head with the jug.

Ballard says he then fled, as the two men got into a car and sped off. Police had made no arrests early today. Ballard credits the gallon of milk with saving his life.
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Old January 4, 2002, 09:20 PM   #2
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Good man. Made use of the tools at hand.

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Old January 4, 2002, 11:59 PM   #3
Coronach
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Outstanding.

Creative use of your environment.

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The axe bites into the door, ripping a hole in one panel. The maniac puts his face into the hole, cackling gleefully, "Here's Johnny...erk."
"And here's Smith and Wesson," murmurs Coronach, Mozambiquing six rounds of .357 into the critter at a range of three feet. -Lawdog

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"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
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Old January 5, 2002, 12:02 AM   #4
bastiat
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I think I saw that in a Jackie Chan movie once....
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Old January 5, 2002, 11:53 AM   #5
David Scott
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Six-two? Two-thirty-five?

Sounds like a failure of the victim selection process. This guy could play linebacker for the Tampa Bay Bucs. You gotta know he's not gonna take any crap.
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Old January 5, 2002, 09:10 PM   #6
David Park
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David Scott, I had the same thought, but on further reflection I believe it probably was the milk (and of course, attitude and will) that saved him. My father's about the same size and age, when I see him I think "old man" before "linebacker." (Sorry Dad! ) These two younger, armed men probably thought they wouldn't have any trouble. Obviously these punks were looking for an easy score, not a fight.
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Old January 6, 2002, 11:22 AM   #7
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But, the real question remains:

how long will our political leaders allow these deadly assault jugs to be loose on our streets, able to be picked up at the local convenience store for only a few bucks?

I propose some common sense milk laws. We should have a tax on milk, raising its price to somewhere around $20/gallon. And we should have a limit on the size of milk containers. I mean, really...the stuff is fattening. Who needs to carry around a one-gallon jug of milk? Let us rid our streets of this high-capacity assault jug scourge, and limit citizens to half-pint containers. Such restrictions would not apply, however, to the milkman industry, practitioners of which would have full access to full-sized containers in plastic and glass, so long as the containers are plainly marked "FOR MILKMAN USE ONLY" and are stamped with a date on manufacture.

Someone call Diane Fienstein right now.

Mike
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The axe bites into the door, ripping a hole in one panel. The maniac puts his face into the hole, cackling gleefully, "Here's Johnny...erk."
"And here's Smith and Wesson," murmurs Coronach, Mozambiquing six rounds of .357 into the critter at a range of three feet. -Lawdog

"True pacifism is the finest form of manliness. But if a man comes up to you and cuts your hand off, you don't just offer him the other one. Not if you want to go on playing the piano, you don't." -Sam Peckinpah

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
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Old January 8, 2002, 06:19 AM   #8
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Obviously these punks were looking for an easy score, not a fight.

That's normal behaviour for this type.


Mike, you're right of course. We need to put a stop to this outrage of just anyone having easy access to these deadly weapons! Why, do yoiu know how many children choke on a glass of milk every year! It's a national disgrace!
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Old January 8, 2002, 09:58 AM   #9
Kirk Keller
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Big is big

... and it sounds like this guy, regardless of the shape of his body has a certain stature about him. I myself have never been a victim of crime although once while sitting in a bar, I was threatened by a drunk who stumbled into my chair and assumed that it was my chair who attacked him. He apologized after I stood up. I'm 6'1" and 246 and I wear a size 52 jacket.
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Old January 10, 2002, 04:19 PM   #10
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The goons were COWards, weren't they! Or was the UDDER guy one?
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Old January 10, 2002, 04:22 PM   #11
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No point cryin' over spilled milk.

*Ack!*

Last edited by Rickmeister; January 11, 2002 at 11:40 AM.
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Old January 11, 2002, 12:50 AM   #12
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Quote:
Ballard -- who is six-foot-two and weighs 235 pounds -- then whacked him over the head with the jug.

Ballard says he then fled, as the two men got into a car and sped off.
They really MOOOOved right along after discovering that this guy wasn't gonna take any bull.

Mike
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The axe bites into the door, ripping a hole in one panel. The maniac puts his face into the hole, cackling gleefully, "Here's Johnny...erk."
"And here's Smith and Wesson," murmurs Coronach, Mozambiquing six rounds of .357 into the critter at a range of three feet. -Lawdog

"True pacifism is the finest form of manliness. But if a man comes up to you and cuts your hand off, you don't just offer him the other one. Not if you want to go on playing the piano, you don't." -Sam Peckinpah

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
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Old January 11, 2002, 06:23 AM   #13
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Sounds like he really creamed these guys. Butter them than him, though.


:barf:


Oh, we'd better quit before it gets any worse!

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Old January 11, 2002, 05:15 PM   #14
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Calcium in milk is good to build strong bones but a gallon of milk is good to break a few!

Milk, its not just for breakfast!
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Old January 11, 2002, 07:27 PM   #15
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"Butter to have a cow and not need it than to need it and not have it."

I glad he bought a reliable brand of milk. This kind of sitUation is no place for Milk Duds.




Okay, I think I've milked this one long enough.





HE'P ME, PLEASE!!! I'VE BEEN IN CHINA TOO LONG!!!
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Old January 11, 2002, 10:36 PM   #16
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This is getting udderly out of hand.

Mike
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The axe bites into the door, ripping a hole in one panel. The maniac puts his face into the hole, cackling gleefully, "Here's Johnny...erk."
"And here's Smith and Wesson," murmurs Coronach, Mozambiquing six rounds of .357 into the critter at a range of three feet. -Lawdog

"True pacifism is the finest form of manliness. But if a man comes up to you and cuts your hand off, you don't just offer him the other one. Not if you want to go on playing the piano, you don't." -Sam Peckinpah

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
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Old January 11, 2002, 11:04 PM   #17
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Y' know, I've heard that for lots of people, being in a dangerous situation like that can make your entire life run pasteurize.


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Old January 12, 2002, 12:08 AM   #18
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It does really makes you sit back and ruminate.

Mike
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The axe bites into the door, ripping a hole in one panel. The maniac puts his face into the hole, cackling gleefully, "Here's Johnny...erk."
"And here's Smith and Wesson," murmurs Coronach, Mozambiquing six rounds of .357 into the critter at a range of three feet. -Lawdog

"True pacifism is the finest form of manliness. But if a man comes up to you and cuts your hand off, you don't just offer him the other one. Not if you want to go on playing the piano, you don't." -Sam Peckinpah

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
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Old January 17, 2002, 08:58 AM   #19
Kirk Keller
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This thread

is killing me. You people are too much.
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Old January 17, 2002, 02:49 PM   #20
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A Clovis man did that? I wonder what a Folsom guy would do.



Alright-alright-alright

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Old January 17, 2002, 05:20 PM   #21
Erich
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I sure didn't anticipate archeology humor!
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Old January 17, 2002, 07:33 PM   #22
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Quote:
I sure didn't anticipate archeology humor!
Noooobody expects the... Sorry.

Quote:
how long will our political leaders allow these deadly assault jugs to be loose on our streets, able to be picked up at the local convenience store for only a few bucks?
And let's not forget all those poor Lactose Intolerant people! I mean, can we Puh-leeeeease stop the madness!

For the children.

{Whoo-Hoo! My 100th message! Can I put "Senior Member, TFL" on my resume? }
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Old January 17, 2002, 07:35 PM   #23
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A Clovis man? What's yer point?
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Old January 17, 2002, 08:13 PM   #24
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Hmmm. Somehow I don't think this guy's friends are going to start calling him "Jugs".

"Support the Right to Keep and Bear Jugs!"


Oh, wait, let's not wander down that cowpath...


One things for sure, he really put that would be robber out to pasture!



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