Staying calm in tense situation? - Page 2

Mainah · September 29, 2015, 02:42 PM

I had a similar road rage incident about 5 years ago. A jerk was aggressively tailgating me, honking and making hand gestures. I flipped him off, huge mistake. I ended up blocked by traffic at the next intersection and he pulled up next to me. He was screaming threats, and getting out of his truck. I made no vocal eye contact, just held my phone. Fortunately he drove off.

Since then I've made a point of pulling over to let these losers pass me, and ignoring offensive gestures and language. That's training I can do on most commutes. And I worked on breathing techniques to help me calm down when I feel rage coming. In my experience with all forms of conflict the calmer individual has a huge advantage.

SEKLEM · September 29, 2015, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mainah

I had a similar road rage incident about 5 years ago. A jerk was aggressively tailgating me, honking and making hand gestures. I flipped him off, huge mistake. I ended up blocked by traffic at the next intersection and he pulled up next to me. He was screaming threats, and getting out of his truck. I made no vocal eye contact, just held my phone. Fortunately he drove off.

Unfortunately those are the idiots who get themselves into serious trouble. My grandfather had a friend who made a similar mistake and he was just smart enough to stop just when he needed to stop. Another driver cut him off and rather than just let it go he decided to exit his vehicle at a red light and approach the drivers side of the individual that cut him off. He of course was cursing belligerently as he approached the vehicle, but by the time he got the rear driver's side passenger door he suddenly went silent, all he saw was a barrel of a large revolver and it was enough to make him rethink his ill conceived strategy. He promptly returned to his vehicle and never did anything like that ever again.

Those were the good old days when something like that was a simple but very clear message and that was all that was needed. The way people are today, I don't think that situation would have gone down the same way.

Brit · September 29, 2015, 08:10 PM

From 1960 to 1965, I worked as a Bouncer in Clubs, in Liverpool UK.

Lots and lots of fights, was stabbed twice. In 1965 we, family of 4 went to live in Australia. I was extremely sensitive to sudden movements, noises, etc.
For a couple of years.

I was 30 in 1965. At 79 YOA, I still have really fast reflexes! Nerves?

James K · September 29, 2015, 08:20 PM

Hi, Besafe2,

I wasn't either, in the 50's, but I understand a lot of forces have gone to that kind of training, and it is also used in the National Guard. Of course, the NG can use other tactics. One NG NCO told me that if his unit confronts rioters, the first order is to put on gas masks. I said that was a good idea, since tear gas might have to be used. "Oh", he replied, "the gas masks are not just for use in case of gas, they are to keep the rioters from seeing our faces and finding out how scared we are."

Jim

cc-hangfire · September 30, 2015, 11:49 AM

Thanks for all the prior input.

Being this is on a gun forum, I'm assuming that the OP was armed. I don't have any specific training, but the preparation and thought process to carry a weapon has put me in a more relaxed and "forgiving" state of mind. When I am armed, any conflict has the potential to escalate to deadly force, and so I am the most polite and yielding in any situation. I never want to have to draw my weapon in self defense, never want to have to harm or kill another person. And if it ever does happen, I need to have the best legal standing by having in no way caused or escalated the situation.

If you have or can get training in handling stressful situations, certainly do so. Getting the right mindset when you put on your gun is a necessity, and should become second nature.

F. Guffey · September 30, 2015, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Behind the wheel imparts an anonymity to drivers. I have driven in several Asian and western countries where driving ranges from offensive to safe and polite. In Indonesia and New Orleans most drivers practice offensive driving skills. In Ireland and New Zealand the drivers are polite and considerate.

I have been asked to compare driver's attitudes for comparison with other areas.

The Boston Mass. area has always been my favorite, when asked I always explain the attitude as: Don't worry about it, it is nothing personal. It is something their cars does to your car.

F. Guffey

Quote:

Behind the wheel imparts an anonymity to drivers.

Then there is the same person setting at the key board.

Big Shrek · October 1, 2015, 08:43 PM

I drive trucks. Ye Olde Bigus Rigus...
Best thing to hit the freeways are Video Cams...
get a GoPro or whatever, mount it to yer dash, vid every trip.

Its amazing the things that can crop up on a long ride...

Like Honey Bees

Also catches bad guys doing bad things...like pulling in front of a semi and slamming on the brakes...
guess how much fun COPS have with 'em after you show them the video

Al Thompson · October 3, 2015, 06:16 PM

"Tactical" or "Combat" breathing has been around for a long time and works well, IMHO, for staying calm in times of need....

Quote:

How to Do Tactical Breathing

With some practice, you can control your breathing, relax, and manage your distress. Here is how to do it.

Breathe from your diaphragm. Your stomach expands, moving out to make room for the air, as you breathe in, and contracts as you breathe out. Tip: Think of your stomach as a balloon filling with air as you breathe in, and emptying smoothly, automatically as you breathe out.

Breathe in through your nose to the count of 4.
Hold your breath to the count of 4.
Breathe out through your lips to the count of 4.
Hold your breath to the count of 4.
Repeat until you feel your body and mind relax.

TailGator · October 4, 2015, 12:39 PM

I have used and taught relaxed breathing exercises before going on stage. I am not sure that I will take the ten to twelve seconds required for even one cycle if I ever have bullets or an edged weapon coming my way.

Glenn E. Meyer · October 4, 2015, 07:09 PM

Extreme Fear - J. Wise

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and WhyJun 16, 2009
by Amanda Ripley

Two good books on the process and techniques.

Bentonville · October 4, 2015, 08:01 PM

Same type of breathing my wife trained to use in natural childbirth. It really works. Also the same breathing that a singer or wind player uses.

pgallagher350 · October 4, 2015, 08:33 PM

There is a lot of good advice on here. Devil Dogs got it right in my opinion. Muscle memory is huge, to alter what you will do when something happens.

Best advice I got in the Army was from a Vietnam vet. He stated he lived by tactical pauses. This gives you the opportunity to slow down, and process what to do. But what I have found in my experience was I paused and then used my muscle memory to execute.

Hands down best book you can ever read is "On Combat" by Lt Col. Dave Grossman.

There is a ton of techniques that I think anyone in Law enforcement or Military should learn and practice.

stonewall50 · October 7, 2015, 09:26 AM

Jujitsu for me. Martial arts training helps to relax, it is healthy, and it is good for the mind. I had an uncle whose abusive son in law try to beat his door down to control his daughter. He put the gun on the guy and the only reason he didn't shoot him is because of his years as a champion boxer. He said that kept him cooler than anything else. It let him think it through quickly. I prefer grappling so I translated.

kraigwy · October 7, 2015, 09:31 AM

James K is correct. After 20 years in LE you learn to smile when you'd much rather issue a throat punch.

The best way to remain calm is stressful situations is self confidence, gained through training and experience.

jimbob86 · October 7, 2015, 10:07 AM

Quote:

So, is there away to "train" to stay calm in a tense situation?

Train. First without any stressors, then add them.

I find it helpful to "soldierproof" any task you might have to do under "less than optimum conditions"- reduce it to simplest, numbered steps and if/then questions and practice each repetively, in order.

As an EMT, I know this works, even in the very worst situations.

Brit · October 20, 2015, 10:46 AM

The one thing that helped me in fight situations, I had done it many times, over and over.

At the age of 33 visiting England 1968, stayed with the Mother in Law, out for supper with Brother in Law, and Wife, my Wife's Sister.

Indian Restaurant, Town St Helens. Name The Moonglow.

Cut to the chase, I was dragged into a confrontation with 4 young toughs (Youths here!) the leader of these 4, wanted to cause trouble, beat up guy in Sports Coat and collar and tie, wearing glasses (Me) with shinny black shoes (steel toe caps, left at M in L's when I left England in 1965)

It started as an appeasement move on my part, approaching the 4 sitting at a booth (empty plates in front of them!) with 10 shilling note showing in top pocket, would have bought 4 pints then.

Me with smile on face, no thought, plan, nothing at all.

As the mouth/leader, suddenly noted how close I was getting to him, his legs already swung out, started to rise, fists coming up.

My flat foot, heel first hit him center chest. (3 ribs broken) his head flew backwards, hitting bad guy #2 in nose (broke nose #1) guy on left side of booth, feet now facing out, hands on knees to stand (lazy move, plus bad one)
my overhand right fist crushed his nose (broke nose#2) his companion on that bench climbed over the booth, walked on table, among plates of the 3 young people eating there. Who started to stab him in the legs, with forks they had in their hands! And they were noncombatants!

When he had arrived at the end of the table, with much aw-aw-ing! those fork hits hurt. As he jumped, I swung the chair I had collected (broken arm #1)

That is when I kicked a man in a brown suite, sat with his Wife, on my right, in the chest (he had jumped to his feet, combatant?) he sat down against the wall, trying to breath.

As this was happening, a young chap had a fork half way to his mouth, wall seat on my left. His only comment "Just like Gun Smoke" Dessie Arness?

I chased them out of the door with chair. Called 999 Police.

"I have been attacked by 4 men in the Moonglow"

Five minutes, Police sirens, two cars two Officers. I was corrected "You are not in America Sir, Constables"

After hearing my version, punctuated with a Lady saying "What did you kick my Husband for" One Constable went outside to consult his Radio.

The only apparent damage to me, cut knuckles, right hand.

Cop now consulting his notes, "Those 4 ruffians who attacked you, early 20s, medium height, blue jeans, white tee shirts?"

Yes Sir. Said I. "Well they are in the Cottage Hospital, Emerg".

"Three broken ribs, same person, two broken noses, one broken arm" "And various cuts, and contusions" "A Question, was you the attacker, or the attacked?"

Much thanks from the owner? Escorted to my rented VW, advice on the way to Liverpool City, who had way more Indians. Hard to drive that stick shift, after adrenalin kicked in.

Why was it so easy? I had been in dozens of fights prior to this one. It just flows, almost like a dance. Would a gun fight be as easy? I honestly do not know. I have been through the motions, in IDPA matches hundred's of time, with a real antagonist? that is the 64,000 question, yes?

adamBomb · October 20, 2015, 10:58 AM

Quote:

There are two kinds of training that can be done. The first is to train for situations...The other is to train your temperament; that is, to adopt a mindset of looking for and evaluating solutions to problems with which you are confronted rather than feeling and acting in a panicked manner. This may come from inside you, from delving into a religious faith, meditation, counsel, or some combination.

This. Practice situations so that you have muscle memory and also practice performing in a stressful environment so you learn to calm down and think. I learned this in wrestling - I could beat a new guy by just letting him spaz for 20 seconds and exhaust himself, even if he was much bigger and stronger, because he didnt know how to breathe, relax, etc. Believe it or not when people start wrestling their first month when they wrestle they actually hold their breath because they just floundered and tensed up because they were not used to that adrenaline. When that adrenaline kicks in we are in a whole different state. You need to know how you will react in that state and practice in that state of mind as often as possible. I learned more about my body in a few seasons of wrestling than a lifetime of other sports.

F. Guffey · October 21, 2015, 11:16 AM

https://www.signingsavvy.com/wordlist/1/INSANE/1383480

The one thing I have never been able to count on is help, one of the most difficult days I had one hope. That hope being someone would be able to get away for the sole purpose of explaining what happened.

F. Guffey

seeker_two · October 21, 2015, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brit

The one thing that helped me in fight situations, I had done it many times, over and over.

At the age of 33 visiting England 1968, stayed with the Mother in Law, out for supper with Brother in Law, and Wife, my Wife's Sister.

Indian Restaurant, Town St Helens. Name The Moonglow.

Cut to the chase, I was dragged into a confrontation with 4 young toughs (Youths here!) the leader of these 4, wanted to cause trouble, beat up guy in Sports Coat and collar and tie, wearing glasses (Me) with shinny black shoes (steel toe caps, left at M in L's when I left England in 1965)

It started as an appeasement move on my part, approaching the 4 sitting at a booth (empty plates in front of them!) with 10 shilling note showing in top pocket, would have bought 4 pints then.

Me with smile on face, no thought, plan, nothing at all.

As the mouth/leader, suddenly noted how close I was getting to him, his legs already swung out, started to rise, fists coming up.

My flat foot, heel first hit him center chest. (3 ribs broken) his head flew backwards, hitting bad guy #2 in nose (broke nose #1) guy on left side of booth, feet now facing out, hands on knees to stand (lazy move, plus bad one)
my overhand right fist crushed his nose (broke nose#2) his companion on that bench climbed over the booth, walked on table, among plates of the 3 young people eating there. Who started to stab him in the legs, with forks they had in their hands! And they were noncombatants!

When he had arrived at the end of the table, with much aw-aw-ing! those fork hits hurt. As he jumped, I swung the chair I had collected (broken arm #1)

That is when I kicked a man in a brown suite, sat with his Wife, on my right, in the chest (he had jumped to his feet, combatant?) he sat down against the wall, trying to breath.

As this was happening, a young chap had a fork half way to his mouth, wall seat on my left. His only comment "Just like Gun Smoke" Dessie Arness?

I chased them out of the door with chair. Called 999 Police.

"I have been attacked by 4 men in the Moonglow"

Five minutes, Police sirens, two cars two Officers. I was corrected "You are not in America Sir, Constables"

After hearing my version, punctuated with a Lady saying "What did you kick my Husband for" One Constable went outside to consult his Radio.

The only apparent damage to me, cut knuckles, right hand.

Cop now consulting his notes, "Those 4 ruffians who attacked you, early 20s, medium height, blue jeans, white tee shirts?"

Yes Sir. Said I. "Well they are in the Cottage Hospital, Emerg".

"Three broken ribs, same person, two broken noses, one broken arm" "And various cuts, and contusions" "A Question, was you the attacker, or the attacked?"

Much thanks from the owner? Escorted to my rented VW, advice on the way to Liverpool City, who had way more Indians. Hard to drive that stick shift, after adrenalin kicked in.

Why was it so easy? I had been in dozens of fights prior to this one. It just flows, almost like a dance. Would a gun fight be as easy? I honestly do not know. I have been through the motions, in IDPA matches hundred's of time, with a real antagonist? that is the 64,000 question, yes?

Were you offered a position with the Kingsmen, as well?

Well done....glad you came out safe.

Rifleman1952 · October 22, 2015, 05:58 AM

I have always believed that hunting was a good way to learn to control stress and emotions. This is especially true, if hunting a wild animal that could hurt you, like a wild pig (have never hunted bear). But even when hunting a groundhog or coyote, there is a certain amount of adrenalin that rushes in, from excitement, when you see a potential target. The more you hunt the better you get a calming yourself, and I have found these lessons to be helpful in other non hunting situations as well.

5thShock · October 23, 2015, 10:53 AM

Keeping your head while not losing the flow. It's what you do when you drive a car properly. So, drive properly and you'll have your practice session in a REAL potentially lethal situation.

mete · October 24, 2015, 08:39 PM

The best lesson for me happened as a youngster. I was with my father when we got involved with an emergency. My father was a cool as could be so I thought that's what I have to learn.

STEINER · October 25, 2015, 07:22 PM

I drive really, really defensively. I hate being a wuss but I avoid any
possible confrontation.
So far, so good.
I have stories but they don't give this thread a conclusion.

I don't carry unless I am going way out of town and travel the hi-way at night.
I just pay attention to all the ass-holes and don't get involved with
the way they drive or approach me.

The best advice for anyone on this forum is "know the situations."

Here in the big city, a fool would go to the 7/11 at 2 am for a donut.
Avoid the scum friggin' thugs.
No need to defend yourself with a hand gun when you can simply
avoid the pieces of crap that will cap you for your watch.

I think a lot of you are waiting for the opportunity to use your stuff.
Don't think like that. Avoid the pricks.
You know that the law is stacked against you, defending you life.

It is wrong. Look at the law officers now that won't even get out of the
patrol car. If they do and engage some criminal... they are going down.
Al Sharpton will turn you into a monster in a "black lives matter' heart beat.

Doc Holliday 1950 · November 5, 2015, 10:29 AM

Steiner,
Good answer. people here in Tn. drive totally different than those from the North East. I have to go into a different mind set when driving here that greatly differs then when I'm in NJ or East Coast of Fl.
As long as I remember this, I can usually keep myself from getting really angry
and can just let it pass so I don't stroke out.

I don't agree that a lot of people who carry are just looking for an excuse to go
"Billy the Kid". Just MHO.

Doc

buckhorn_cortez · November 5, 2015, 02:22 PM

I live in New Mexico. I take it for granted that at least 95% of the people driving are not to be trusted as they will: make a left turn from the right lane in front of you; make a right turn from the left lane in front of you; run red lights ("It was orange...really"); go 50 miles an hour on the expressway in the left lane pacing the person in the right lane and obstructing traffic; whip around you and cut you off, slam on the brakes for no apparent reason, etc. etc.

So, I leave at least one vehicle space / 10mph in front of mine, drive from the front of my car to at least a 1/2 mile ahead of my vehicle and the same to rear so that I can observe patterns of other drivers and attempt to anticipate what they're going to do; and void the obvious "problem drivers" by getting out of their way or as far ahead of, or in back of them as possible.

The only time I use my horn is when: someone is going to crash into my car if I don't signal them; or if I'm sitting at a light and they continue texting for 30+ seconds after the left arrow or green light has illuminated. I then give them the very briefest horn signal through a quick tap on the horn button just to get them back to driving instead of texting.

Generally, I put with bad driving from other people and avoid all confrontations as it's not worth my time, and the aggravation of dealing with some lunatic who has to be "right."

I just let them do whatever they want to do and attempt to stay out of their way and as far away from them as possible.

September 29, 2015, 08:20 PM	#29
James K Member In Memoriam Join Date: March 17, 1999 Posts: 24,383	Hi, Besafe2, I wasn't either, in the 50's, but I understand a lot of forces have gone to that kind of training, and it is also used in the National Guard. Of course, the NG can use other tactics. One NG NCO told me that if his unit confronts rioters, the first order is to put on gas masks. I said that was a good idea, since tear gas might have to be used. "Oh", he replied, "the gas masks are not just for use in case of gas, they are to keep the rioters from seeing our faces and finding out how scared we are." Jim Last edited by Frank Ettin; September 29, 2015 at 09:07 PM. Reason: correct typo

October 1, 2015, 08:43 PM	#32
Big Shrek Senior Member Join Date: August 6, 2009 Location: NorthWest Florida Posts: 1,358	I drive trucks. Ye Olde Bigus Rigus... Best thing to hit the freeways are Video Cams... get a GoPro or whatever, mount it to yer dash, vid every trip. Its amazing the things that can crop up on a long ride... Like Honey Bees Also catches bad guys doing bad things...like pulling in front of a semi and slamming on the brakes... guess how much fun COPS have with 'em after you show them the video __________________ Marlin Specialist Calico Specialist A gun should be a tool in the hands of a deadly weapon, not a deadly weapon in the hands of a tool.

October 4, 2015, 07:09 PM	#35
Glenn E. Meyer Senior Member Join Date: November 17, 2000 Posts: 20,064	Extreme Fear - J. Wise The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and WhyJun 16, 2009 by Amanda Ripley Two good books on the process and techniques. __________________ NRA, TSRA, IDPA, NTI, Polite Soc. - Aux Armes, Citoyens

October 4, 2015, 08:33 PM	#37
pgallagher350 Junior Member Join Date: September 23, 2015 Posts: 10	Best Advice There is a lot of good advice on here. Devil Dogs got it right in my opinion. Muscle memory is huge, to alter what you will do when something happens. Best advice I got in the Army was from a Vietnam vet. He stated he lived by tactical pauses. This gives you the opportunity to slow down, and process what to do. But what I have found in my experience was I paused and then used my muscle memory to execute. Hands down best book you can ever read is "On Combat" by Lt Col. Dave Grossman. There is a ton of techniques that I think anyone in Law enforcement or Military should learn and practice.

October 7, 2015, 09:31 AM	#39
kraigwy Senior Member Join Date: June 16, 2008 Location: Wyoming Posts: 11,061	James K is correct. After 20 years in LE you learn to smile when you'd much rather issue a throat punch. The best way to remain calm is stressful situations is self confidence, gained through training and experience. __________________ Kraig Stuart CPT USAR Ret USAMU Sniper School Distinguished Rifle Badge 1071

September 29, 2015, 02:42 PM	#26
Mainah Senior Member Join Date: July 9, 2007 Posts: 1,119	I had a similar road rage incident about 5 years ago. A jerk was aggressively tailgating me, honking and making hand gestures. I flipped him off, huge mistake. I ended up blocked by traffic at the next intersection and he pulled up next to me. He was screaming threats, and getting out of his truck. I made no vocal eye contact, just held my phone. Fortunately he drove off. Since then I've made a point of pulling over to let these losers pass me, and ignoring offensive gestures and language. That's training I can do on most commutes. And I worked on breathing techniques to help me calm down when I feel rage coming. In my experience with all forms of conflict the calmer individual has a huge advantage.

September 29, 2015, 08:10 PM	#28
Brit Senior Member Join Date: January 29, 2005 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 1,934	From 1960 to 1965, I worked as a Bouncer in Clubs, in Liverpool UK. Lots and lots of fights, was stabbed twice. In 1965 we, family of 4 went to live in Australia. I was extremely sensitive to sudden movements, noises, etc. For a couple of years. I was 30 in 1965. At 79 YOA, I still have really fast reflexes! Nerves?

September 30, 2015, 11:49 AM	#30
cc-hangfire Senior Member Join Date: August 14, 2014 Posts: 304	Thanks for all the prior input. Being this is on a gun forum, I'm assuming that the OP was armed. I don't have any specific training, but the preparation and thought process to carry a weapon has put me in a more relaxed and "forgiving" state of mind. When I am armed, any conflict has the potential to escalate to deadly force, and so I am the most polite and yielding in any situation. I never want to have to draw my weapon in self defense, never want to have to harm or kill another person. And if it ever does happen, I need to have the best legal standing by having in no way caused or escalated the situation. If you have or can get training in handling stressful situations, certainly do so. Getting the right mindset when you put on your gun is a necessity, and should become second nature.

October 4, 2015, 12:39 PM	#34
TailGator Senior Member Join Date: May 8, 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 3,787	I have used and taught relaxed breathing exercises before going on stage. I am not sure that I will take the ten to twelve seconds required for even one cycle if I ever have bullets or an edged weapon coming my way.

October 4, 2015, 08:01 PM	#36
Bentonville Senior Member Join Date: November 11, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 345	Same type of breathing my wife trained to use in natural childbirth. It really works. Also the same breathing that a singer or wind player uses.

October 7, 2015, 09:26 AM	#38
stonewall50 Senior Member Join Date: April 14, 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 668	Jujitsu for me. Martial arts training helps to relax, it is healthy, and it is good for the mind. I had an uncle whose abusive son in law try to beat his door down to control his daughter. He put the gun on the guy and the only reason he didn't shoot him is because of his years as a champion boxer. He said that kept him cooler than anything else. It let him think it through quickly. I prefer grappling so I translated.

October 20, 2015, 10:46 AM	#41
Brit Senior Member Join Date: January 29, 2005 Location: Orlando FL Posts: 1,934	The one thing that helped me in fight situations, I had done it many times, over and over. At the age of 33 visiting England 1968, stayed with the Mother in Law, out for supper with Brother in Law, and Wife, my Wife's Sister. Indian Restaurant, Town St Helens. Name The Moonglow. Cut to the chase, I was dragged into a confrontation with 4 young toughs (Youths here!) the leader of these 4, wanted to cause trouble, beat up guy in Sports Coat and collar and tie, wearing glasses (Me) with shinny black shoes (steel toe caps, left at M in L's when I left England in 1965) It started as an appeasement move on my part, approaching the 4 sitting at a booth (empty plates in front of them!) with 10 shilling note showing in top pocket, would have bought 4 pints then. Me with smile on face, no thought, plan, nothing at all. As the mouth/leader, suddenly noted how close I was getting to him, his legs already swung out, started to rise, fists coming up. My flat foot, heel first hit him center chest. (3 ribs broken) his head flew backwards, hitting bad guy #2 in nose (broke nose #1) guy on left side of booth, feet now facing out, hands on knees to stand (lazy move, plus bad one) my overhand right fist crushed his nose (broke nose#2) his companion on that bench climbed over the booth, walked on table, among plates of the 3 young people eating there. Who started to stab him in the legs, with forks they had in their hands! And they were noncombatants! When he had arrived at the end of the table, with much aw-aw-ing! those fork hits hurt. As he jumped, I swung the chair I had collected (broken arm #1) That is when I kicked a man in a brown suite, sat with his Wife, on my right, in the chest (he had jumped to his feet, combatant?) he sat down against the wall, trying to breath. As this was happening, a young chap had a fork half way to his mouth, wall seat on my left. His only comment "Just like Gun Smoke" Dessie Arness? I chased them out of the door with chair. Called 999 Police. "I have been attacked by 4 men in the Moonglow" Five minutes, Police sirens, two cars two Officers. I was corrected "You are not in America Sir, Constables" After hearing my version, punctuated with a Lady saying "What did you kick my Husband for" One Constable went outside to consult his Radio. The only apparent damage to me, cut knuckles, right hand. Cop now consulting his notes, "Those 4 ruffians who attacked you, early 20s, medium height, blue jeans, white tee shirts?" Yes Sir. Said I. "Well they are in the Cottage Hospital, Emerg". "Three broken ribs, same person, two broken noses, one broken arm" "And various cuts, and contusions" "A Question, was you the attacker, or the attacked?" Much thanks from the owner? Escorted to my rented VW, advice on the way to Liverpool City, who had way more Indians. Hard to drive that stick shift, after adrenalin kicked in. Why was it so easy? I had been in dozens of fights prior to this one. It just flows, almost like a dance. Would a gun fight be as easy? I honestly do not know. I have been through the motions, in IDPA matches hundred's of time, with a real antagonist? that is the 64,000 question, yes?

October 21, 2015, 11:16 AM	#43
F. Guffey Senior Member Join Date: July 18, 2008 Posts: 7,249	https://www.signingsavvy.com/wordlist/1/INSANE/1383480 The one thing I have never been able to count on is help, one of the most difficult days I had one hope. That hope being someone would be able to get away for the sole purpose of explaining what happened. F. Guffey

October 22, 2015, 05:58 AM	#45
Rifleman1952 Senior Member Join Date: September 1, 2012 Location: Ohio Posts: 284	I have always believed that hunting was a good way to learn to control stress and emotions. This is especially true, if hunting a wild animal that could hurt you, like a wild pig (have never hunted bear). But even when hunting a groundhog or coyote, there is a certain amount of adrenalin that rushes in, from excitement, when you see a potential target. The more you hunt the better you get a calming yourself, and I have found these lessons to be helpful in other non hunting situations as well.

October 23, 2015, 10:53 AM	#46
5thShock Senior Member Join Date: August 28, 2006 Posts: 400	Keeping your head while not losing the flow. It's what you do when you drive a car properly. So, drive properly and you'll have your practice session in a REAL potentially lethal situation.

October 24, 2015, 08:39 PM	#47
mete Senior Member Join Date: June 14, 2004 Location: NY State Posts: 6,575	The best lesson for me happened as a youngster. I was with my father when we got involved with an emergency. My father was a cool as could be so I thought that's what I have to learn. __________________ And Watson , bring your revolver !

October 25, 2015, 07:22 PM	#48
STEINER Senior Member Join Date: September 24, 2008 Posts: 168	I drive really, really defensively. I hate being a wuss but I avoid any possible confrontation. So far, so good. I have stories but they don't give this thread a conclusion. I don't carry unless I am going way out of town and travel the hi-way at night. I just pay attention to all the ass-holes and don't get involved with the way they drive or approach me. The best advice for anyone on this forum is "know the situations." Here in the big city, a fool would go to the 7/11 at 2 am for a donut. Avoid the scum friggin' thugs. No need to defend yourself with a hand gun when you can simply avoid the pieces of crap that will cap you for your watch. I think a lot of you are waiting for the opportunity to use your stuff. Don't think like that. Avoid the pricks. You know that the law is stacked against you, defending you life. It is wrong. Look at the law officers now that won't even get out of the patrol car. If they do and engage some criminal... they are going down. Al Sharpton will turn you into a monster in a "black lives matter' heart beat.

November 5, 2015, 10:29 AM	#49
Doc Holliday 1950 Senior Member Join Date: June 16, 2014 Location: Bout as south as it gets Posts: 1,238	Steiner, Good answer. people here in Tn. drive totally different than those from the North East. I have to go into a different mind set when driving here that greatly differs then when I'm in NJ or East Coast of Fl. As long as I remember this, I can usually keep myself from getting really angry and can just let it pass so I don't stroke out. I don't agree that a lot of people who carry are just looking for an excuse to go "Billy the Kid". Just MHO. Doc

November 5, 2015, 02:22 PM	#50
buckhorn_cortez Senior Member Join Date: July 30, 2010 Posts: 857	I live in New Mexico. I take it for granted that at least 95% of the people driving are not to be trusted as they will: make a left turn from the right lane in front of you; make a right turn from the left lane in front of you; run red lights ("It was orange...really"); go 50 miles an hour on the expressway in the left lane pacing the person in the right lane and obstructing traffic; whip around you and cut you off, slam on the brakes for no apparent reason, etc. etc. So, I leave at least one vehicle space / 10mph in front of mine, drive from the front of my car to at least a 1/2 mile ahead of my vehicle and the same to rear so that I can observe patterns of other drivers and attempt to anticipate what they're going to do; and void the obvious "problem drivers" by getting out of their way or as far ahead of, or in back of them as possible. The only time I use my horn is when: someone is going to crash into my car if I don't signal them; or if I'm sitting at a light and they continue texting for 30+ seconds after the left arrow or green light has illuminated. I then give them the very briefest horn signal through a quick tap on the horn button just to get them back to driving instead of texting. Generally, I put with bad driving from other people and avoid all confrontations as it's not worth my time, and the aggravation of dealing with some lunatic who has to be "right." I just let them do whatever they want to do and attempt to stay out of their way and as far away from them as possible.