Home Defense Strategies: My son is 'off the reservation'

[solowandslow]

I purchased my first shotgun yesterday. The reason why is not a happy one: I have a 27 yr old son who is "off the reservation". I would not wish this situation on my greatest enemy: arming myself to protect myself, my loved ones and my home against one person, my own son. To all you young fathers out there, I have a sober and poignant piece of advice: know your children as well as you can. Intrude upon their lives as much as you can while society and the law permit and encourage you to do so. Do you know their pain and frustrations as well as their joys and accomplishments? What are their hobbies and interests? What are their activities when you are not around, and who do they hang with? This knowledge, and the depth of relationship you share with them, is vitally important as they reach puberty/adolescence and start gaining some independence. My son has told us that he started using at 13, and we had no clue. Be warned. 'Nuff said.

With the above being stipulated, if my son breaks into my home, again, I want to bring him down and stop him, NOT kill him. My home is not large, and the ranges at which I would be engaging him at various points within it are frighteningly short- most under 15 feet. I have purchased and 870 tactical 20ga with an 18" barrel, pump action. I plan on equipping it with a strong strobe light as well. Even loaded with birdshot, I've been told this is a lethal combination at close range.

I am looking for suggestions and wisdom in the categories of:
1. General Home Defense Strategies and Tactics, taking my specific situation in mind, and
2. Alternative Ammunition ideas to reduce likelihood of a lethal encounter at such close range.

If you have anything to contribute, I thank you in advance for taking the time to bring me up to speed.

[warrior poet]

Stinger rounds... but you might not be able to get them.

[DaveTrig]

As a father of a 3-year-old, know that I definitely took your words to heart. I'm very sorry for what you're going through.

I'm no expert, but to my knowledge, even "non-lethal" rounds such as bean bags and rubber bullets can be deadly at that range. Maybe you want to go with something like a Taser instead.

Hope you eventually get a light at the end of this tunnel.

[max it]

HI Ya, if he is breaking in to steal and not to harm then let him have whatever he takes. Just deduct from his inheritance.

[BigD_in_FL]

Dogs, thorny bushes under every window, motion sensors with lights and alarms, a restraining order (establishes some precedent), change the locks, mace, taser - the list goes on and on from there. I would not use a gun if you do not intend to kill him - just bad legal ju-ju. Besides, if things are that bad, what happens if he gets possession of it?

Mine was like that for a little bit, but things have mostly healed.

Good luck in your situation

[Bozz10mm]

I agree with DaveTrig. Get a Taser. Non lethal and very effective.

[NWPilgrim]

Agree that at close to contact range any firearm should be considered lethal even if shooting blanks (i.e., Brandon Lee), bean bags or rubber shot.

If you are concerned he may break in armed (you never know what may happen when they are under the influence) then you have to be armed as well. If you are concerned with an unarmed confrontation then perhaps a taser is OK. You don't want to use pepper spray in the same room you and or family are in. Big trained dog?

[colbad]

I am sorry for your your situation. Unless you can obtain some "less lethal" rounds, most any off the shelf rounds may kill. Look for some of the bean bag rounds. They are small bags of powdered led inside a 12g shell used by almost all LE. The "less lethal" rounds tend to lose accuracy over distance but should work fine inside a home. Others contain rubber balls. They will all definitely put someone down with a blast to the mid section.

Might search the internet or gun shows for where to find.

[manta49]

I am looking for suggestions and wisdom in the categories of:
1. General Home Defense Strategies and Tactics, taking my specific situation in mind, and
2. Alternative Ammunition ideas to reduce likelihood of a lethal encounter at such close range.

I think its the police you should be talking to for advice. Talking about shooting someone on a internet forum could go against you if it ever happened.

[HALL,AUSTIN]

Best thing to do is just let him steal and go to jail. Sounds rough but it's true. ALL shotgun loads I've shot are very lethal at 15feet. Taser or paintballs filled with pepperspray is all thing comes to my mind. Best of luck.

[Jen-from-IL]

My suggestion is to get an order of protection/restraining order against your son. Sounds like you have proof that he is a danger to your family. You do need to protect yourself in case he does try to break into your house again. You know there is a potential for harm and you know who the person is that may cause harm. Might be best to have some non lethal means, if that is an option.

I'm very sorry to hear this is happening in your family. Drug and alcohol abuse do not just affect the person abusing. Best wishes to you and your family.

[g.willikers]

Agree, the shotgun is a bad idea.
Could you live with yourself if you crippled or killed him?
You could move away for awhile, and temporarily rent the place to a biker gang.

[johnwilliamson062]

I have some rubber pellet rounds left over from preparing a chokepoint in a concrete block stairwell. I'll say I didn't fire many of the rounds and didn't do anything like a gel test. That being said, they weren't weak and I am quite certain they are capable of killing and likely to cause permanent injuries.

If he is using you have to be prepared. Taking a greater chance on serious personal injury might be worth it in this case though.

[BigD_in_FL]

Remember the 4 rules? One states
Do NOT point your gun at anything you do not intend to destroy

Since you have zero intention of doing that to your son, using a gun is just not something that should be on the table

Drop the dime, let the legal folks do their job; sometimes time spent does wonders - it did for mine

[Coach Z]

Agree with above posts. I bought some rubber slugs for 12ga just to see what they would do and just from my VERY simple tests it seemed like at close range they would do damage.

Agree wholeheartedly with the restraining order and taser. Paintball isn't a bad option but for a reliable paintball gun you'll pay more then that shotgun. Cheap ones are shockingly unreliable.

Good luck

[BigD_in_FL]

The more I think about this and reflect on my own situation the more I come up with NOT even having the gun - this is your son, you are his dad - NOTHING changes those facts, no matter how bad things get, you will always love your son, even if you do not like him and vice versa. Time is amazing at how it changes view points and feelings and how things are now today will be much different in a few years - are you willing to kill him now and jeopardize the future? Only you can answer that.........

Choose the non-gun approach and work to get him right. He was right at one time, go back to that time and go forward to find a way to correct things - all the time realizing that prison/jail may be necessary depending on your particular scenario

As a dad, NEVER give up the hope that things can be rectified, and understand that prison is better than dead...........

You have my thoughts and prayers

[bt380]

Thru the replies, three words mentioned are a great place to start: 1) Professional help. 2) Prayer.
-
God speed!

[Dreaming100Straight]

Aside from all the others have said about the likelihood of killing your son even with less lethal ammunition, consider whether you even want a gun in the home if he may break in and steal it or use it on you. I would not have the gun unless I was prepared to take his life.

[warrior poet]

You mentioned the strobe light... you could attempt to 'blind' him, and then subdue him or drive him off. The restraining order is a good place to start as it 'establishes' you as the 'would-be' victim if you do injure him and he tries to sue. [I talked to a friend about this scenario, and getting sued was his second thought- after have he said wouldn't want to fire at his kid either.]

[Pilot]

If he is that much of a threat you should get a PFA, and make sure the police are very aware of his actions and intent. That would be way higher on my list than what gun or defensive weapon to buy.

[jmr40]

I'd be beefing up things like door locks etc. Being proactive with LE will help. If he has made threats in the past he could be locked up BEFORE he does something worse. Couldn't shoot my son for stealing or even damaging property. I don't think I could pull the trigger even if he were threatening my life. Someone else maybe.

Without knowing details it still might be possible to get his attention and set him straight with a few nights in jail. Might be too late. As a father and grandfather I feel for you. Good luck with your situation.

[Tom Servo]

Some good suggestions have been given, and we wish the OP the best. Some of his concerns are best addressed by competent legal counsel, which is something we can't provide here.