Mom here, looking for my first handgun, to use for CC

[Compromise]

I am a 27 y.o. mom of 3 little boys who's hubby works offshore for weeks at a time. I have 3 boys and own a daycare.

I have only ever shot a shotgun when I was 13 and my husbands Sig 9mm. a couple of times in the last 3 years.

My Christmas present to my husband this year is for me to purchase my first handgun and get my conceal carry lisc. (something he has been wanting me to do for 3 years)

I am looking for suggestions. The Sig 9mm is a little too big for me, the recoil isn't too much but I could never Conceal Carry it. I honestly would be ok with a .22 or a .380. My husband says NO to a .22 that that will just Tick off an intruder because it doesn't have enough stopping power and they aren't a real accurate shoot.

I've been looking at the Walther P22 LR and the Bersa Thunder .380.

Do any of you have any suggestions of possibilities for myself that I should look into?

Not sure it matters, but I have a good shot for a beginner. Dead centered but low every time with the Sig 9mm. Hubby says that's because I break my wrist. Anyhow.. more practice will fix that.

[Ricklin]

Please pass on the .22 for self defense. The .22 is a rimfire cartridge, rimfire cartridges are inherently less reliable than center fire cartridges.

The .22 rimfire is less than ideal for self defense.

Many consider the .380 the low end of self defense cartridges.

A .38 special revolver is worth looking at.

[TailGator]

The Most Important Suggestion:

corneredcat.com

That site is by our own Pax, by a very knowledgeable woman for women.

I agree that there are many better choices than a .22LR for self defense. Better than nothing, yes, but not as good as some other choices you can make. Women in my life have chosen a Beretta PX4 in 9 mm because of its very soft recoil (due to a rotating barrel system) and a Sig P238 for its small size and resulting concealability combined with it being a better defense cartridge than a .22 and still being quite shootable.

But my wife and daughter's choices were their choices. You need to learn, consider features, handle and shoot different pistols, and make your own choice. Seriously, start at corneredcat and go from there.

[Wyosmith]

The basic premise is "bigger is better and faster is better"
However the real world intrudes on this premise.

Clearly a 454 Casull is going to be a better round to hit a crazy man with then a 25 auto, but the power is also going to endanger anyone and anything down range out to about 500 yards. Such power will NOT be stopped by a mere human.
So we cut back on power.
How far?
That’s up to you and your situation.

A full size 44 magnum is a large gun. So larger guns don’t get carried as much and that means you probably don’t have a gun when you need it. So how far back do we cut back on size?
Again that’s up to you and your situation.

Next we have the recoil to contend with. The smaller the size of a gun the more it will kick in any given caliber. Examples are a Alloy frame 5 shot 38 with +P loads kicks harder than many ladies like, (men too) but a K frame S&W 6 shot revolver with the same ammo is not bad at all.

Depending on where you live and your body size you are going to have to make decisions for yourself. Do NOT fall for the idea that a 22 is worthless. As a former Sheriff’s deputy and also a former field agent of DOD I can assure that I have seen many men killed and severely wounded with 22s.

A good hit (or hits) with a small bullet is way better than bad hits with a big bullet and way way better than misses with any bullets.

The 22s and 25s are admittedly the worst cartridges you can use to defend yourself round for round. However the beauty of 22s is that most ladies love to shoot them, which means they will shoot them a lot. Shooting a LOT makes you a good shot. Proper mindset in a fight will bring much of your skill into use.

The smaller the caliber you carry, the better marksman you need to be. 22s can accommodate that skill level. DO NOT get a cheaply made gun. The gun you get, regardless of size and caliber needs to be shot enough so you are very comfortable using it and it becomes second nature for you to be able to hit targets as big as oranges at 10-15 yards quickly and easily. This is true or any gun you buy, but smaller calibers more often need more hits on target than larger ones. Smaller calibers will glance off bone far more than bigger ones do. And so on, and so on.

Remember this over everything else.
The gun is not a weapon per se. It’s a tool. YOU are the weapon.
The better you can use the tools the better off you will be. But the tools work only as well as they are worked with.

Annie Oakley shot a 22 most of the time and carried one most of the time.
I seriously doubt she was even in much danger of being kidnapped or raped.

[histed]

FWIW - my wife just started carrying recently. We shot everything she could get her hands on and she settled on the Bersa 380. No issues with the weapon or concealment. Highly recommend you read http://www.corneredcat.com/ this - an excellent site written by Pax, one of the mods here. She also has some excellent videos on youtube.

[Grant D]

My wife (who is 66) carrys a Walther PPK/S (380.), or a Colt Detective Special snub nose (38.) in her purse, that has a built in holster.

When she carrys on her body, it's either a Ruger LCP (380.) or a S&W model 637 snub nose (38.) because they are lighter and easier for her to carry.

She's quite a good shot with all of them, and she shoots dove with a 20 ga. shotgun, so she's no stranger to firearms.

Go to a gun range that rents guns in your area and find the one that feels good to you.

We have a local range that has a five rounds for five dollars program that lets you try out various handguns before you buy,and the five dollars goes towards the price of the gun if you buy one.

[weblance]

Here are some choices... Ruger LC9, Ruger LC380, Sig P238 Kel-Tec P32, Ruger SP101, Ruger LCR in 38, Smith & Wesson 638, or 642. Go to the Local Gun Shop and ask to see these models, and just see how they feel in your hands. Thats an important first step.

[Spats McGee]

Welcome to TFL, Compromise!

I will second the suggestions that: (a) you head to corneredcat.com for some outstanding articles; and (b) go handle a few guns. Having a gun that feels "right" is more important than you might imagine.

[Mastrogiacomo]

I remember some years back a coworker of mine told me his very well employed son bought a damn near new condition Glock 19 and a Walther .22 target pistol (at the same time) which he put a scope on and planned to use it for self defense. Leave the Glock 9mm at home, but take the .22.....some people are spoiled stupid.....

Anyway, Glock 19 or 26 isn't a sharp recoil gun or particularly heavy, and they very user friendly. They have wonderful sights on them too. I had a Glock 19 which I had to sell for bills and I've regretted it every day since. I was very accurate with it. If you're really uncomfortable using an auto, I'd recommend a S&W model 36, 60, 640, 649, or Ruger SP101 DAO or snub nose. A .22 caliber is a target load and should never be mistaken for home defense. A person high on drugs, very large, angry, etc., would never be affected by that caliber. A .38 in a gun would be more effective. If you get a SP101 .357 snubbie, than you have the option of loading it with .38 caliber or .357 caliber. Just because you have a .357, doesn't mean you need to use a .357 bullet - you have choices.

I'm from Massachusetts, the land of the banned Glocks but if I were able to buy a Glock 19 or Baby Glock 26 - I'd be running to the gun shop now.... Good luck.

Laura

[kraigwy]

Bigger is better is BS.

Comfort is better, if its not comfortable to shoot, you wont practice, if you don't practice you don't have a SD gun, you have a safe gun.

Get the biggest you can comfortably shoot, (doesn't hurt, doesn't cause flinches).

Also we need to consider small kids in the house, You have to find a medium between safety of the children and availability of a SD pistol/revolver. If its not readily available, its not a SD gun.

If its on your person, its not available to the kids, yet its available to you. Therefore more comfort is needed, meaning small.

Home invasions don't occur while you're setting next to your lock gun safe (locked because of kids), they happen while you're watching tv, cooking, putting kids to bed, etc. etc. It takes a pair of seconds to kick in a door, it takes a lot longer to find your locked up gun.

Small/Comfortable is the answer, small enough where you can carry it on your person throughout your daily life. If its concealed on your person its easy to keep you kids from accidently getting a hold of it.

Which gun depends on how much you are going to practice. Most people wont practice so you need something simple. Something where all you need to do is pull the trigger, because under stress that's all you're going to think about.

That describes a J frame size revolver. The 380 is nice, the PPK if a good little gun, but you need to practice enough so you can get to the safety without thinking cause under stress you wont think.

In short, the only one who can pick a gun for you, that fits you, IS YOU.

[Compromise]

My husband doesnt think I will like a revolver style.
But I am willing to try one or two out.
Based on reviews and personal testimonies from other people, I am leaning towards the Bersa .380. (or similar)
My husband really wants me to carry a 9mm.
ultimately it will have to be decided upon what I am comfortable handling, shooting, and wearing. Even if that goes against what my husband thinks I need.
My plan is to take all of the above advice, as well as my husbands, and go test out a few of them listed above, plus whatever else I may find between now and then.
Comfort will be a huge key factor as I personally have had 2 terrible experiences in my life that included guns and am just coming around to the idea of owning one for myself, let alone shooting it and wearing it.

So thank you all for the suggestions! I am on my way over to CorneredCat to check out that page! thank you!

[Mastrogiacomo]

Remember your husband won't be carrying the gun, you will. I don't know why he assumes that you won't be comfortable carrying a revolver. You need to try them out, they're very pleasant and easy to use so I'm not understanding where he's forming his opinions. If you find you prefer the .380 then that's what you should go with....anything, anything is better than a .22.....

[pax]

Welcome to TFL, Compromise!

You've chosen a great screen name for your question, because every carry gun is a compromise between size, weight, and comfortable shooting. This is especially and particularly true about guns that you learn to shoot with.

A learning gun should not be super small or super light. It should not be too small, because small guns are very difficult to shoot well. It should not be too light, because light guns produce a lot more recoil for their caliber than you would expect. Very small guns and very light guns can to make it difficult to hit your target, uncomfortable to practice, and difficult to learn how to manipulate the gun's controls.

On the other hand, a gun for concealed carry cannot be too large or too heavy, because it can be difficult to conceal a large, heavy gun. The exact size of weapon that you can comfortably conceal will depend on a lot of different variables – where on your body you intend to carry, how well you choose your holster, and whether you have a good, solid belt (or other way to attach the gun to your body). It also depends, of course, on your own physical dimensions. Larger people have different concealment challenges than smaller people do. Your shape matters, too, and that's not the same thing as size. But those are all nuances that you will explore as you learn more about concealed carry. For now, it's enough to know that many factors affect the size of gun that you can comfortably conceal.

Beginners to concealed carry often make one of two major mistakes. The first mistake is to go with the lightest, smallest gun that they can possibly choose. For example, the most common bad gun choice I see among women: choosing a lightweight J frame revolver. A revolver may be a good choice for you for many different reasons, but to choose one that is very small and very light for your first gun would be a painful mistake. Starting out with a J frame tends to create people who are not enthusiastic shooters, a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy where someone recommends the revolver because they are sure that you will not want to learn anything about shooting, and then you end up with a gun it's no fun to shoot, and voilà! – You didn't learn much about shooting, because the gun hurts your hand when you shoot, you can't hit the target with this experts' weapon, and you don't find shooting fun. Funny how that works.

The other mistake beginners to concealed carry can make is to go with a large, heavy gun that's too big for their body, clothing, lifestyle, or gear. Typically, this happens because they want to go up to a big caliber – a.44 Magnum, say, or maybe someone told them that "all good defense guns start with a four" - so they end up trying to conceal a gun that is a bit too large for their own physical frame, or for the clothing choices that they prefer. You do see this mistake sometimes among women, but it typically happens only to women who have a very opinionated, macho man advising them on gear choices!

Compromise is the key here. Look for a midsize gun that is comfortable for you to shoot on the range. Avoid the advice of people who want you to take a super lightweight gun for learning how to shoot. Avoid the advice of people who want you to use a gun that's too large for you to carry. Choose instead something from the "compact" or "midsize" categories. Avoid sub-subcompacts.

If you choose a revolver, go with one that is one size up from a J frame. And make sure it is steel, rather than a lightweight alloy.

If you choose a semi auto (and this is what I really recommend for most new shooters, unless you have a strong preference otherwise), make sure that you can reach and use all of the guns controls. Here is an article from my website about how to choose a gun that will be a good fit for your hand: http://www.corneredcat.com/article/c...-on-a-handgun/

As for caliber, I most commonly recommend 9mm for beginners. This caliber offers a wide selection of guns and gun types, tends to be the least expensive of the defense rounds (not always, but that's the way to bet most of the time), and produces little recoil for its effect on target.

The drawback with .380 ACP is that far too many of the guns chambered for that caliber are "straight blowback" weapons. That means they produce much more recoil than you would expect for their size and caliber. Because of that design factor, it has been my experience that it's easier to find a comfortable shooting gun that is still concealable when you step up to the 9mm.

Happy shopping!

pax

[geetarman]

I know the thread is about guns but Kraig is right. It only takes a second before someone with bad intentions can be in your home. One thing that can give you a heads up that things are not right is a dog. Their hearing is very good and they will generally alert to everything out of the ordinary. . .that can give the time you need to make sure you are weapon ready.

[salvadore]

Smith & Wesson makes all sorts of J frame revolvers, hammerless, shrouded etc. and the Barami clip grip makes it easy to slip inside the waist band. I have a very early P-22 and it isn't very reliable, don't know if they have improved. THe .22 rimfire has some limitations, however the aluminum framed S&W model 63 (363?) carries eight rounds and even at todays prices you can practice a lot cheaply

[Mastrogiacomo]

Pax, I have a Beretta .380 Cheetah which is one of my favorite guns but it's my least favorite to rack the slide and clean it. Are all .380s as difficult to clear the chamber? I find my 9mm are far easier to rack and to clean. Thank you.

[pax]

Mastrogiacomo, good to see you! Yes, it has been my experience that most .380s are harder to rack than comparable 9 mm guns. Partly, of course, this would be because the .380 tends to be a smaller weapon, which means it has a lot less surface area to hold on to. And, of course, with the lighter caliber, the slide tends to be lighter – which means the gun must have stiffer springs in order to function. Stiffer springs are harder to work with.

pax

[1stmar]

Ruger lcp. Lightweight, easy to conceal, good trigger, reliable. Recoil may be stiff for some. Go to a range where you can rent guns and try a few. Lcp is at the top of my list for my wife once she gets her ccp.

[t45]

Compromise, I can tell you that my wife loves her Ruger SR9. She does not carry it but is within arms reach at home. If she decides to carry, she wants the compact SR9C for that. Suggesting a handgun is like suggesting what kind of car to buy. My suggestion would be to go to some gunshops and handle different handguns, pistols and revolvers to see what fits your taste. Oh, and welcome to the forum. You will find very good info here.

[kraigwy]

My husband really wants

And that's the reason I don't allow husbands to attend my Women's Only Class with their wives.

[kilimanjaro]

It's your pistol and your choice, not your husbands. Get what feels good in your hand and is simple to carry and use, even if you have to pay for it yourself.

For a first pistol, a revolver is a good choice. No one regrets having something like a S&W .38 Special. You can get 2" or 3" barrels.

If you are comfortable with a semi-automatic, Ruger or Kahr make good little
.380 and 9mm models.

What you do not want to do is just toss a pistol in your purse. For holsters, more than one is generally the rule. Inside the waist under a top is one, ankle holster is another, and outside the waist under a jacket is another. Waist packs may be another option at some times.

It's something you need to carry on your person, so make sure hubby knows he's on the hook for a new wardrobe as well!

Don't forget new shoes !

[Sharkbite]

Hello and WELCOME!!!

My wife is not recoil shy ( as you say you are not) but she does have smallish hands. None of my guns fit her well.

I took her to the SHOT show last year and she held just about every handgun available.

Her choice as the most comfortable.... Kahr CW9

Single stack mag so its not a huge grip to try to hold. 9mm stopping power. Easy trigger to use ( not to stiff like some ). Full length frame so your whole hand is on it (pinky not hanging out in space)

She REALLY likes it. As always YMMV

[Waspinator]

Do yourself a favor and do not count out a revolver just because what your husband thinks. Revolvers are reliable and simple to use. You might find you like them.

I, personally, like the Ruger SP101. It is slightly larger heavier than a Smith and Wesson J-frame, but not as big as a Smith and Wesson K-frame. I carry the 2.25" .357 model and load it with .38 specials. It conceals very well and absorbs enough recoil to be a nice shooter.

I have the spurred version, but if I could do it over again, I would most likely get the spur-less version (easier to draw without snags http://www.ruger.com/products/sp101/...eets/5720.html )

My wife is also going through the permit process. I brought her to the range and we shot my SP101 .22lr revolver and my SP101 .357. We started off with the 22lr and she quickly wanted to try something a bit more powerful. I had with me a few different .38 special ammunition types and she tried out some. She liked the Hornady 90 grain FTX load I had bought, for this occasion, a lot. It is basically, approx, a .380 load in .38 special case ( http://www.hornady.com/store/38-Spec...-Defense-lite/ ). Some of the heavier weighted .38 specials she was ok with, but I could see her starting to flinch a bit, so we backed off. She likes the revolvers because they are very intuitive to use.

Anyway... Try them all out and if your husband tries to second guess your choices.. well, there is this look my wife gives me... she kinda raises one eyebrow and does this look I know oh so well. I'm sure you have something similar that will get across the point

[Grant D]

My wife and I both have Ruger LCP'S, and I also carry on occasion a LC9 which is a small 9mm. in a Crossbreed holster.

The rubber grip covers make a world of differance when firing either one.
Hogue on the LCP, and Pachmayr on the LC9.
Now I dont mind shooting a box of rounds with the LCP.

Ruger also makes the LC380 which is basically the LC9 in 380. cal.
that has less recoil than the LCP.

[SocialAnarchist]

Pistols are a very personal thing. We all develop likes or dislikes based on our own perceptions.

My wife is a shooter. Her first pistol was a Beretta Neos .22lr and she is deadly accurate with that. I don't have any doubts that she could put 10 rounds rapidly into the center of a man's chest with it from 15 yards. She wanted to try my 9mm Ruger P89 and my .45 acp Springfield 1911 Loaded. She hates the Ruger because of felt recoil and loves the 1911. Essenetially she has taken my 1911 as her bed side gun or her beside her on the couch if she is home alone gun.

Try alot of different pistols and different calibers too. I may be in the minority here but putting 10 rounds of .22lr into an assailants chest or face will slow or stop a good chunk of intruders. More than several misses with a bigger caliber pistol ever will. Does that make the .22lr the best choise? Not by a long stretch. But is does make it better than nothing.

What ever you decide on the key word is practice, practice, and then practice some more. Carrying a gun means being able to use it properly and practice is the only way to ensure that.

To those that posted about drug crazed individuals, sometimes no matter how many times you shoot them they aren't going to go down. There was a widely reported story several years ago of a man high on, I believe, PCP that took a 2 or 3 dozen 9mm rounds, a couple of rounds of 12 gauge buck and was still up fighting. They finally stopped him by running him over with a squad car.