Another "Silly Things You Hear In Gunshops" Thread

[Hiker 1]

I don't know if I would classify this as silly, but years ago when I worked in a pawn shop, a nice looking lady came in and asked to see a .32 that we had in the case. I could overhear the conversation between her and the other employee and she asked something like: "will this kill a grown man?" He responded, "sure, any gun will".

She went home and unloaded it into her husband. He lived but my co-worker had to go to court to testify, etc.

[Tom Servo]

I could overhear the conversation between her and the other employee and she asked something like: "will this kill a grown man?"

I've put the brakes on a few conversations like that over the years. In one case, an older gentleman was looking for a pistol under $300. He didn't know anything about guns, and he just wanted to know how to load and fire it. That's the point at which the conversation got hinky.

Then he started griping about some "Puerto Rican or something kids" who he was certain were vandalizing cars in his neighborhood. He said "something needed to be done," at which point the gun went back on the shelf and he was instructed to perhaps delegate that responsibility to the lawful authorities.

And who's the bad guy here? Oh, me. I was keeping him from defending his neighborhood from the scourge of automobile vandalism, and I should have been ashamed of myself. Yeesh.

Then there was the lady who insisted on speaking to me out of earshot of other customers. She wanted us to conduct a transaction with "utter discretion" because being seen buying a gun would place her in a "compromising position." I was in a snarky mood, so I said "OPSEC, right?" I may have even winked in a conspiratorial manner.

She beamed and replied that she didn't know what OPSEC was, but her paymasters insisted that she run silent and deep. I told her that I did in fact work for OPSEC, and that they were very disappointed in her inability to maintain cover. She blew a gasket, told me she was (I kid you not) a "two-delta undercover musician" and that there would be consequences.

A few hours later, her husband called in a tizzy. When I informed him that we hand't sold her a gun, he was relieved. Turns out she was off her meds.

[jeager106]

I actually knew a fellow that made his handgun h.p. ammo with #10 percussion caps and a nib of black powder in the hollow point.
WOW!

[geetarman]

Anyone besides me ever run into a "contract" sniper in a gun store? They can really wow you with stories. I never knew there were so many of them. . . .

[Tamara]

One of the ways I justified dropping coin on AR accessories to myself was that I could hang the guns on the wall at work and use them as "display models" for various stocks, VFGs, sights, lights, lasers, phasers, and windspeed indicators.

From a tale elsewhere...

I was up on the stepladder, hauling down my 9mm AR carbine to show a friend, when a voice below and behind me declared loudly "That's exactly the one I wanted to see!" I shrugged apologetically to my friend, and handed the weapon to the newcomer. He grasped it in his fingerless gloves and, squinting one-eyed through the EOtech, started taking sightings on the AC vents in the ceiling, the doorknob to the storage room, and (for all I know) the north star.
"This is just like the ones we used in The Teams." He poked a digit at the gun's optic. "How do you turn this on?"

[Glenn E. Meyer]

My sniper experience was taking the TX CHL test. It is child's play. While scoring a perfect one - a guy comes up to me and says that I shoot too well. I should miss some as if I go to trial, I will be asked why I didn't Annie Oakley the guy in the knees.

He knew this because he was a sniper.

[Tom Servo]

He knew this because he was a sniper.

Well, yeah. According to what I hear, there are 2 Marine snipers for every 5 Americans. The special ones have training in ninjutsu. Their hands are registered lethal weapons.

I know this because that's what they tell me when I'm so disrespectful as to reprimand them for pointing a gun at my crotch and dry-firing it. Apparently, real operators get a pass on gun safety.

I find it strange that I have to explain the difference between .223 and 5.56 to a real operator. Man, if those guys operated any harder, they'd be working at the phone company.

[sm]

The one that has always ticked me off, and always will is:

The little lady needs a little gun

[Glenn E. Meyer]

In an upscale but good ol' boy TX store for a guy looking at a J frame.

From the clerk - If you need more than one shot, you ain't doing your job.

[Uncle Buck]

These threads never get old. Just when I thought I had heard it all, I get a good chuckle every time I read them.

[Brian Pfleuger]

Originally Posted by NHSHOOTER

My brother had a friend that swore that a 410 slug gained velocity after midrange since it was now traveling downhill.

I've heard several folks says that you shouldn't shoot from too close because the bullet needs time to speed up.

Also heard the opposite, but strangely related, idea that you shouldn't shoot bullets too fast if you want them to expand because they don't "have time to expand" in the target if they're going too fast.

[jeager106]

Being a police officer (retired) we hung out in gun shops a lot.
I wasn't there when this happened but:
Fellow came in and wanted to buy a handgun and TWO bullets.
The shop owner sent him on his way.
Pronto.
A fellow, some years later came into the same shop and asks for a s.g & FIVE rounds.
The shop keep sent him on his way. The guy smelled of booze.
An hour later the guy goes into a local Sears, buys a single shot 12 bore but the clerk won't sell him the ammo as he'd been drinking.
(but she sold the gun????)
The guy goes to a buddy & bumbs five rounds so the buddy GIVES him 5 slugs.
The guy shoots his estranged in the chest ( I watched that happen-long story)
The gun won't break open saving her 3 girls. We force our way inside and physically take him down before he can do more damage.
The gun, a Brizilian import, sprung & wouldn't open.
Ya just never, never, know.
I have several sickening stories similar.

[ATW525]

I try to avoid gun shops, but one I've heard quite a bit:

"Oh... no problem! I'll just buy it, then," says the friend/lover/spouse of someone who just got a NICS denial or who wants to buy a handgun with an out of state license. For what it's worth, the employee/owner always explains to the person why they can't sell it to them.

[BarryLee]

I was looking for a SIG P220 and noticed a SIG sign on a LGS. When I went in and inquired about SIGs the guy went on to tell me they were overpriced crap and he didn’t carry them anymore. He tried to talk me into a CZ, but I wasn’t real familiar with the brand. I left and got a P220 at another shop.

So, a few months later after a little research I decided to stop back in the original shop and take a look at the CZs. When I went in and inquired about them he told me they were crap and he didn’t carry them anymore. He then went on to tell me if I wanted a really nice all metal gun I should look at the – wait for it - SIGs.

[kilimanjaro]

I talked to a guy who said he was a 'contract sniper' last year at a show, he was waxing eloquent at a table with a .50 caliber on display.

Asked him how the contract worked, was it Lump Sum, Actual Quantities, or maybe Progress Payments, that kind of thing. I could see the gears turning in his head while he thought about it. Turns out they are an Indefinite Quantities contract with payment upon inspection of the completed work, he calls it in and 'they' collect the bodies and pay him. 'They' also pay in cash. I said that was probably due to the Prompt Payment Act requirements of 30 days and he agreed with that.

I really, really wanted to tell him I just got a job administering contracts like his, wanting to know all about it, 'they' had hired me but told me nothing for security reasons, but I didn't have the heart for it right then.

[Tom Servo]

I really, really wanted to tell him I just got a job administering contracts like his, wanting to know all about it, 'they' had hired me but told me nothing for security reasons, but I didn't have the heart for it right then.

I have a regular who's a retired SEAL. Nicest guy you'd ever meet, and with a great sense of humor.

I mention that last bit because he was standing at the counter when a 20-something kid came in and started waxing poetic about his time with the SEALs. I started to worry until the real guy leaned over, feigned fascination, and asked the kid to tell him everything he could because "that's just so cool."

The kid went through a litany of stuff even I could tell was bogus, and he did it for about 15 minutes to a guy who'd really been a SEAL. It was priceless.

[Tamara]

Yup, the dude in my story above was regaling a crowd with his tales that included a customer who had been a Fernspäher and a salesman who'd served in the 75th. Everybody just smiled and nodded and let him talk.

When he found out that our CCW instructor was a honcho in the SWAT team of the next small city over, he'd corner the guy on his smoke breaks out on the porch and regale him with all the times he'd bailed out of his big rig with his trusty USP .40 to save embattled cops in roadside gunfights. My cashier came back in from her break with a glazed look on her face, saying "I'd only been out there five minutes and he'd already killed two bad guys and was working on his third."

The worst part was that he was on some sort of D.O.T.-mandated layover at the truck stop next door, and we were stuck with him All. Saturday. Long.

My days of slinging guns across the glass are getting long enough ago that I rarely remember any specific one in detail, but that one is seared... seared, I tell you, into my mind.

[arizonaopa]

Sounds strange about the Annie Oakley, but I do know a woman who was an MP for several years in the Amy. I asked her about your post and she smiled. She told me that many MPs will only fire well enough to earn sharpshooter medals during their time in the service. At their last qualification about a month before getting out, they amazingly fire well enough to earn expert. She told me the reason is that if they have to shoot at someone and they wind up killing them, an expert qualification will cause the military justice system to question why they did not just wound the criminal. Obviously they could fire well enough to wound and not kill. With the state of the military at the present time, I could believe this.

[jeager106]

Several guys & I that hunted deer together were in a shop trying to make a deal on 5 new rifled barrel slug guns when an older fella came in looking for some ammo.
The shop keep waited on him & the guy metnioned he didn't hunt any more as he'd seen enough death in WWII.
Said he'd been island hopping in the Pacific Theater & narrowly escaped death when seven Jap machinegun bullets his the stock of his
M1 but the the bullets didn't penetrate the wooden stock, thus he was saved.
Everyones b.s. detector went off at that tall tail.

[Joe_Pike]

She blew a gasket, told me she was (I kid you not) a "two-delta undercover musician" and that there would be consequences.

That, right there, is some funny stuff.

"Oh... no problem! I'll just buy it, then," says the friend/lover/spouse of someone who just got a NICS denial or who wants to buy a handgun with an out of state license. For what it's worth, the employee/owner always explains to the person why they can't sell it to them.

Same guy in the original post is selling two guns to some folks and has actually called them in (they were delayed) and is getting ready to take their money (so the guns can be held in lay-away) when the owner overheard something that didn't sound quite right and stepped in. He told the folks that he couldn't sell them any guns as it was a straw purchase. The FBI called back and denied them. The next day a Sheriff form Virginia calls and wants to know where these people are as he has been looking for them.

[SC4006]

Tom Servo, I think the shop you work in would make for a pretty funny reality show judging by what I've heard goes on in there, it would be ALMOST as funny as some of the past gun tv shows I've seen.

[Tom Servo]

Tom Servo, I think the shop you work in would make for a pretty funny reality show

My experiences are in no way unique. Anyone who's worked in the business has heard that stuff.

[Unlicensed Dremel]

I've heard several folks says that you shouldn't shoot from too close because the bullet needs time to speed up.

I'll be darned...next time a bad guy is pointing a gun at me, I will run up real close and stick my torso against the gun barrel, so as to cut down the wounding potential.

and regale him with all the times he'd bailed out of his big rig with his trusty USP .40 to save embattled cops in roadside gunfights.

Cuz that happens a lot.

All. Saturday. Long.

Just ONE DAY? Consider yourself lucky. There's a local gun shop that is very large and has a diner/snack bar, gun range, and whatnot, and for about FIVE YEARS, this one guy would come in and spend every waking hour that he wasn't at work roaming around bending the ears of the salespeople and other customers like me.... and he stunk to high heaven. Those salespeople deserve a purple heart...or something.

real operators get a pass on gun safety.

Apparently a lot of real operators in gun stores... I have to dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge as I walk by counters to keep from getting swept.

[Theohazard]

Originally Posted by Tom Servo

My experiences are in no way unique. Anyone who's worked in the business has heard that stuff.

Yep, you see that kind of stuff all the time if you work behind the counter for even just a few months. I did it for just two years, and I saw my share of those kinds of things.

You'll get used to the new shooters who bring their "expert" gun friend who only knows internet gun myths; the morons who whip out their loaded carry gun and flag you with it; the guys who are convinced you don't know anything about guns because you're under 40; the constant stories about how a .45 will knock someone flying even if it just wings them in the hand; the customers who want to buy a pump shotgun, keep it unloaded, and only use the pumping sound to scare away criminals; the couple who wants to buy a gun for protection and admit they have absolutely no intention of learning how to use it; the two guys who don't realize it's obvious they're trying to commit a straw purchase; the guy who gets irate at you when he's delayed or denied by NICS and blames you for it, then proceeds to exclaim loudly how innocent he is and how the FBI screwed up; the customer who saw online that Fed Ex delivered his gun transfer 30 seconds ago and doesn't understand why it's not ready for immediate pickup; the customers who put their finger on the trigger as soon as you hand the gun to them, and proceed to casually point it at you; the folks who aren't planning to buy anything, they just come in to look at what they're planning to order online and waste the salespeoples' time in the process; the customer who asks you about a gun that doesn't exist and then gets upset when you don't know anything about it; the constant stream of customers who just shot at the range and want the gunsmith to adjust their sights because they're shooting low and to the left; the guy who gets really rude and upset because you don't know every single detail about every gun ever made; the foreign tourists who come in taking pictures and point at the semi-auto rifles and make machine-gun noises. And that's just the stuff that every gun shop employee has dealt with.

Then there's the stuff that I've seen that probably doesn't happen all that often, but lots of gun shop employees have still had to deal with: Like the crazy guy that tried to load a .380 in the store. Or the range employee who shot himself in the hand while we had a news crew in the retail store during the craziness last year. Then there was a customer who wanted an employee to look at the light attached to his Glock, and whipped it out and pointed the loaded and chambered gun at the employees face to show him the light, and he had his finger on the trigger. And after I left there was a lady who bought a handgun, went through the waiting period (she didn't have a CPL), and then committed suicide with it in the parking lot right after she picked up the gun. Most of the range/LGSs around here have had at least one suicide, and some have had several. Most of the time you can stop them before they happen: It's always a dead giveaway when someone wants to buy a gun and one single round of ammo.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

arizonaopa - I've had non-gun folks ask why we don't shoot to wound.

Also, some folks in IDPA don't shoot up to their abilities in qualifications as they want to stay in a lower one.

The world is strange.