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Old October 24, 2013, 09:33 AM   #1
Joe87T
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Need Information - Any Help Appreciated

Good Morning.

My names Joe from NH and I have a few questions im hoping you fine fellows may be able to help me out with.

I recently picked up my CWP but have not yet purchased a firearm, this would be my very first gun, after I got my permit i was all Gungho to go pick something up - I dont want anything crazy I was honestly thinking even just a little Ruger LCP for an EDC and call it a day - However when it came down to it my fiance started freaking out and telling me not to buy a gun!

She is telling me that me having a gun in the house makes her extremely nervous, she is one of those typical gun-phobic people that thinks guns are the worst thing in the world yada yada you get the idea.. She even went as far as too tell me that if she was home alone and an Intruder broke into the house that she wishes she DIDNT have a gun because she would be so scared that she would just let the bad guy take the gun right from her and shoot her with her own weapon because she could never shoot someone no matter what the circumstance.

I tried to talk her down, and she basically came to the conclusion that if I am going to own a firearm that I need to prove to her that having a gun in the house is a good thing and not a bad thing - What she is looking for is Statistics / Research / News Articles ETC that shows Owning a Gun LOWERS your risk of injury / bodily harm ETC and that guns are a GOOD thing - Because she thinks that everyone out there that owns a gun ends up shooting themselves in the foot or injuring themselves with itand its stupid to have.

I figured you guys would be the ones to ask, can anyone help me out with this?

Thank You!
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Old October 24, 2013, 09:39 AM   #2
Brian Pfleuger
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Welcome to the forum.

First, I highly recommend a book by our very own Kathy Jackson, http://www.corneredcat.com/

Second:
Happy reading.

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Old October 24, 2013, 10:09 AM   #3
Pahoo
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Go slowly and develope "more" trust.

In most cases like this, it all comes down to a matter of trust. You have already laid the ground-work for this but perhaps, your timing could have been better. ....

When I got engaged, I asked my future spouse how she felt about me bringing guns, into the house. I eventually bought a safe and her trust in me, developed as time went on. She is now to a point, where she wants to start shooting as every day, she sees examples of why it's important to have a means of protection. Women especially, feel more vulnerable but still need some assurance. ....

Be Safe !!!
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Last edited by Pahoo; October 24, 2013 at 11:31 AM.
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Old October 24, 2013, 01:24 PM   #4
shortwave
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Fear of the unknown is not uncommon. Especially when it comes to firearms.

Both Brian and Pahoo have given excellent advise.

My wife had never shot until I met her. She knew I liked guns, hunting etc. but showed no interest in shooting until I finally coaxed her to shoot a .22 pistol. Over time, she built up trust in me. She knew I did not play when it came to shooting safely and figured out I would not compromise on what I felt was safe handling of a firearm with anyone.

This was all done while pleasure shooting and all the while me talking about how fun it was to shoot. The more time she spent around guns, the more she asked questions and the more comfortable she got around them.
Bottom line was, she had to gradually build up trust in me

Scenario's worked well with my wife as well. Getting her to think about what she would do if I was not at home and a BG broke into the house.

Ask your fiancé to think about what she would do if you were not at home and her and your new born baby was there and a BG broke into the house.
Would she have the nerve to grab a gun to fight an assailant off ?

My gut feeling and having had a few years of watching 'motherly' instincts tells me she would be very capable of defending that newborn child and herself with a gun without hesitation. Especially with some firearms training.

Too, watch the news. Most every evening there is an event in which if a person was armed and trained the outcome of the victim very possibly could have been different.
In Cols., Ohio either this morning or yesterday, there was a woman standing on the corner with her 3yr. old baby in her arms. A guy approached her from behind, grabbed her and forced her into an alley where he made her face a wall and raped her while she was holding the baby. There are some sick people in this world that don't deserve their next breath but they are here never-the-less.

Is it a possibility that this woman could of had a chance of fending off this attacker had she been armed??? Guess we'll never know cause she wasn't. Just thankfully, this sick bastard didn't kill her or harm the child but the only thing that stopped him was he apparently didn't want to.

Something to think about.
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Old October 24, 2013, 01:45 PM   #5
ClydeFrog
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Granite State Homeboy.....

Hi;
Welcome to the world of the shooting sports & 2A supporters, .
Id first advise you to look into the writings/work of Massad Ayoob, www.massadayoobgroup.com . Ayoob is a firearm tactics trainer, reserve sworn LE officer(Captain at last I read), legal(court) expert witness & author of several well known gun press books. He's also from NH, .
Massad Ayoob teaches armed citizens about the law & proper methods for self protection using firearms.

Id also see; www.NRA.com www.gunvideo.com www.deltapress.com www.paladin-press.com www.handgunlaw.us www.gunlawguide.com . Know & understand the use of force laws/gun laws in your area(s).
If you can take a few training classes or seminars. It will improve your skills & document your formal training in a court action/trial if needed.
S&W offers a few classes in MA & SIG Sauer has their academy in NH. www.sigsauer.com note; SIG offers free student guns for the class/range so you don't need to fret over what to take or the legal issues.
There are other good trainers in the US too; Clint Smith, Larry Vickers, Duane Dieter, Jeff Gonzales(a former SEAL).
Id close by saying if you are new to semi-auto pistols or CCW, Id buy a simple easy to carry, safe DA only pistol like a SIG P229R DAK, a P250 Compact, a PX4 C(constant action), a S&W SD9 or SD40, a HK P30 or P2000 LEM(law enforcement modification), a Para USA LDA, a HK45 compact .45acp in LEM.
DA only models are better because you avoid the bogus claim of "cocking" the hammer or firing single action by accident.
Many US law enforcement & security firms issue DA only sidearms.

Clyde
PS; Whatever pistol or caliber you decide on, only use factory ammunition for protection or carry. No reloaded or hand loaded ammunition.
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Old October 24, 2013, 02:39 PM   #6
Pahoo
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The natural God given right of self protetion

The lady that cuts my hair, knows that I teach Hunter Safety and safe gun handling. She lives alone, on the edge of a rough neighborhood and the street problems are getting closer. Lately she asked me if she should get a gun and why?

She has a cat and I asked here if she ever lets her cat out. She said she did. I then asked her if her cat has been de-clawed? She said no and she would never do so as her cat needed to protect herself as much as possible.
I told her that it was good to allow her cat the natural God given right of self protection and whether or not she should have a gun, in the house, was a personal and serious decision.

I have to compliment your fiancé on her protective nature that only you can appreciate. However, bad guys also appreciate this attitude and they don't want you to have any guns. Who are the bad guys? They are ones, who want to take from you and don't want you to be able to protect yourself. Some wear hoodies and others wear suits....

Be Safe !!!
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Old October 24, 2013, 02:48 PM   #7
Kimio
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@Pahoo some are even elected into power

Half joking aside, there really isn't much else that needs to be said, Brian and Pahoo covered pretty much all the bases here. Hope all goes well for you and that your fiancee warms up to the idea.
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Old October 25, 2013, 06:31 PM   #8
Warrior1256
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Alot of good advise above. Welcome to the forum and the world of shooting / firearms.
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Old October 26, 2013, 01:47 PM   #9
NukemJim
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Can't give you data that guns LOWER risk, can give you data guns do not, IMHO, RAISE the risk.

First from the Center for Disease Control,

http://www.cdc.gov/MMWR/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5214a2.htm

Then National Academy of Sciences

http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?isbn=0309091241.

There is also data available (don't have time to dig it up right now, sorry) that people with carry permits have a much lower crime rate than the "average person" from studies done in Florida and Texas. Sorry I do not have the exact sites.

Good luck

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Old October 26, 2013, 06:56 PM   #10
kilimanjaro
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My two cents worth is just this : You don't have to prove anything to her or to anyone else, your decision to obtain a license and a firearm is yours and yours alone. It's your life you are seeking to defend, and hers as well, if it comes to that, and her irrational political opinions are of absolutely no consideration in your decision.

Our ladies get to chose the house we live in, the furniture we sit on, the food on the table, the kid's names, where we go for the holidays, what we do on the weekends, all of that, but this decision is yours and yours alone. Personal safety is not a committee discussion.
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Old October 26, 2013, 07:11 PM   #11
JohnKSa
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Quote:
She even went as far as too tell me that if she was home alone and an Intruder broke into the house that she wishes she DIDNT have a gun because she would be so scared that she would just let the bad guy take the gun right from her and shoot her with her own weapon because she could never shoot someone no matter what the circumstance.
This part of the problem, at least, is easily solved. Purchase a rapid access gun safe and don't give her the combo/key.
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Old October 26, 2013, 08:33 PM   #12
jimbob86
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It is a values thing.

Quote:
She even went as far as too tell me that if she was home alone and an Intruder broke into the house that she wishes she DIDNT have a gun because she would be so scared that she would just let the bad guy take the gun right from her and shoot her with her own weapon because she could never shoot someone no matter what the circumstance.
This one is simple: Ask her if she values her life more than the "Intruder's" health. If not ..... there's a values problem right there. If so, then she needs to defend the life she values- even if she is "scared". That is the very definition of Courage: Putting the fear aside, and Doing the Necessary and Proper thing despite the presence of fear. Courage is a virtue, and a laudable thing. Cowardice and Willfull helplessness are not. Choices have to be made, and the sooner they are made, the better the results.

Does she want to be Courageous? Or Helpless? If she says Helpless, then I think she has a value system I could not live with ......YMMV.

If she decides that it is right to do the Courageous thing, then she should take any steps necessary to make that defense of the life she values an effective one, in terms of Mindset, Skills and Hardware.
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Old October 26, 2013, 08:40 PM   #13
Sierra280
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^^+ 1 to Johnksa

Either that or take em shooting to show there is nothing to be scared of.
http://thefiringline.com/forums/showthread.php?t=534202

The time before my GF went shooting with me. Another buddy and his GF came along. His girlfriend said she was terrified of guns, stayed very far away from the 50, and when she finally agreed to try shooting a gun; the 6" 22 revolver she was holding was probably moving 2-6 inches (at the muzzle) from her shaking out of fear when she held it up. Craziest thing I've ever seen.
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Old October 27, 2013, 11:02 AM   #14
Brian Pfleuger
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Need Information - Any Help Appreciated

Multiple posts deleted in this thread. Those responding will stick to the question as asked and dispense with the relationship counseling.
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Old October 28, 2013, 08:09 AM   #15
Dashunde
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Shortwave touched upon it....

Quote:
She even went as far as too tell me that if she was home alone and an Intruder broke into the house that she wishes she DIDNT have a gun because she would be so scared that she would just let the bad guy take the gun right from her and shoot her with her own weapon because she could never shoot someone no matter what the circumstance.
My wife transitioned rapidly from that give-up mentality into protective momma bear after the birth of our daughter.

Last edited by Dashunde; October 29, 2013 at 07:49 PM. Reason: Removed tmi
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Old October 28, 2013, 09:11 AM   #16
jimbob86
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Quote:
She even went as far as too tell me that if she was home alone and an Intruder broke into the house that she wishes she DIDNT have a gun because she would be so scared that she would just let the bad guy take the gun right from her and shoot her with her own weapon because she could never shoot someone no matter what the circumstance.
There's a blog out there that chronicles one Lady's transition from this mindset to to one that not only embraces effective self-defense, but she goes on to to introduce others to shooting ..... Great Reading.


http://www.agirlandhergun.org/

http://www.agirlandhergun.org/the-story/
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