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What needs to be done first, is to file a criminal complaint against the BG. If he assaulted you, attempted to rob you, shot at you, etc., sign a criminal complaint, and follow up with police and prosecutors. At the same time (relatively), file a civil complaint. You can usually use the criminal complaint as leverage in the civil complaint. Courts are usually considerate in letting the criminal complaint go forward, and holding the civil complaint until conviction (if there is one).
Now, if the BG is dead, he/she can't be tried, but the complaint is not expunged.
As to his wife and kids, too bad. He should have been home, or working at a legal job. You are under no obligation to be altruistic, especially if you've been financially or physically harmed. You and your loved ones and family come first.
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