If you have the strength to shove it down the bore, the gun will have more than enough strength to shove it back out the same way. In other words, if you can get it loaded, you can shoot it safely - there's no such thing as 'too tight' (assuming a human being is doing the loading). And yes, the tighter the fit, the more accurate the load.
The unsafe ones are the ones that don't go all the way down to the powder, hence the caution to mark your ramrod so that you know for certain the ball is seated on the powder.
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