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But one must still decide when things become a "tactical situation." That decision will require some good judgment. Putting on your "war face" too soon will not be helpful.
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A professional will treat each encounter as a tactical situation in the interests of safety. Although this may seem silly treating each and every encounter as a tactical situation, it is sage advice. If someone is doing something they are not supposed to do, then you have to let them know in uncertain terms with a firm and serious tone. No asking nicely or smiling. Asking nicely and smiling implies that what you are saying is a suggestion, but talking in a firm and serious tone implies that what you are saying is a command.
For example, on a routine traffic stop the man gets out of his car and walks back to you while you are still in the car. This is a time for a firm and serious voice commanding that man to stay where he is. Even though the man may have the best of intentions trying to come to the officer, he could easily have a weapon on his person and many officers have been killed in this manner. Telling the man nicely to stay where he is and smiling would seem like a suggestion the man might ignore or not understand. He may decide to come to you anyway. However, talking in a firm and serious tone will not be misunderstood.
Swearing is a psychological tool for the professional user which is used in certain situations with certain individuals to bring the situation under control quickly. This tool is used on a case by case basis with discretion. Experienced professionals will know when such situations dictate the so-called potty mouth.
For a non-professional, I do not believe smiling will be effective in a self-defense encounter for obvious reasons. There will be times the non-professional will have to issue commands in a serious and firm tone of voice just like the professional user. Lets say, for example, you are outside on your lawn and there is an angry person just off of your property who is coming quickly to talk to you. It would probably be a good thing if the homeowner retreated to their home, but lets say there is not enough time. Then the homeowner will have to give a command "Do not come on my property!" No pleases, smiles or thank yous.
So a situation to use the command voice is one where an individual is performing an action which will jeopardize your safety.