"I imagine I'm going to catch some flack for this one, but I'm a relatively new user, so if it leads to a ban, I can always come back."
No, you can't. So do your best to keep from getting banned, because we're very good at ferreting out recidivists.
We tend to shoot them on the move, as it were...
That said, this is really a tactics and training sort of scenario, so I'm going to move it there and hope that Charlie and Pax don't mind.